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What I've learned from having a pet...

2011-12-01T12:53:00.001-05:00

Since last Saturday I've thought a lot about what it is to be a pet owner in the States. Most of you know that I am pretty vocal about political hypocrisy and our government's inability to grasp the obvious, but I've started to notice that it is especially true for pet owners.

With the economy such as it is, it's hard for many of us just to get by, but when you have furry children, not just human ones, it's so much more so - and you just can't understand it unless you yourself are a pet owner. I've heard everything from "If you can't afford to take care of him, you shouldn't have him" to "If he's going to cost that much money, you should just put him down" as if he's not a living, breathing being - as if he's not a part of our family.

I remember having this argument with my ex about 15 years ago with one of our cats at the time. His side was "It's just a cat". Mine was "When you adopt a pet, it's just like adopting a child". Of course, I am fully aware that if I had to make the choice between my pets and my kids - my kids would come first. That should be obvious. But that doesn't excuse the fact that we are still responsible for the health and well being of our furry children. They still need regular vet check ups like our kids, and to be fed and housed and cared for like our kids. And like our kids, when there is an unexpected illness, especially something like epilepsy, the costs can sometimes be more than you can handle.

What I find interesting (and by interesting, I mean hideously ironic) is that the cost of (good) pet insurance is comparable to that for humans - while the cost for veterinary care itself is much lower. We were lucky enough to have qualified for CareCredit, which is something like a credit card for medical expenses, however the interest rates are insane (26.9%) and it didn't cover the entire visit. My point is - for those of you saying that we should have jut put him down if we couldn't afford it - a comparable stay for one of our children in a hospital for the same disorder would have cost five times more, and our insurance requires us to pay 15% (and doesn't cover certain things at all) - which we couldn't have afforded either.

Would you have said the same of our kids?

That said, one of the biggest problems I have with this whole ordeal is where the lines between humanity and "cruelty to animals" blur.

Firstly, if a human has an emergency issue, they can walk into any ER and be seen - regardless of their inability to pay. It may take ages to see a doctor, but someone will eventually see them and treat them. With pets, you can't even walk in the door without payment. I consider it false advertising for vets to say "Your pet's health is our top priority" when they either won't see you unless you are already a patient, or won't see you without a 50% down payment. That says to me, that the pet isn't their top priority at all - just their payment.

Nextly, on the topic of euthanasia (because it was a real possibility for us) - I have to wonder why it's considered "humane" to "put an animal out of their misery" when they are suffering from a chronic condition, but humans can be forced to "live" on life support for decades with no hope of recovery. How is it that we are more humane to our pets in that respect than we are to our fellow humans? Is it because it is harder to part with a human family member? or is it because, again, medical care for humans is so ridiculously inflated, and the medical community will just make that much more money off keeping someone alive? Either way, I find it twisted logic.

On the flip side, we have some pretty rigorous animal cruelty laws. If someone abuses or neglects a pet, they can be brought up on charges and fined or imprisoned. The same goes for human children and even the elderly. The law protects those who are in the care of others. We are expected to care for and protect those who are unable to do so for themselves. However, in our case, we were forced to wait 19 hours and watch Caesar suffer through 18 seizures before we could get him medical help due to the fact that we didn't have the money to pay the bill. Had we done the same with one of our children, we would not only be locked up for child endangerment, but probably face having our children taken from us. That is not to say that I believe that my husband and I are guilty of animal cruelty, as we were attempting the entire time to find a vet or clinic that would see him - but I still fail to see how it isn't considered cruelty to animals on the part of the vets in this area to refuse to treat an animal in need.

All I can honestly say is that I am truly grateful to those friends and family who were able to help us get Caesar the help he needed. There were several people standing by as well, waiting to hear a final total and send a little more to help if necessary. It's times like this when I'm reminded that not everyone is oblivious to the fact that "pets are people too", and that there are people out there who care and will help in times of need.

I just wish that this sort of kindness was more the norm of society. With 63% of all US households owning pets, (39% of the US owning at least one dog and 33% owning at least one cat*), the remainder being multiple pets), one would think that more people would argue that pets need a bit more respect. However, people without pets simply don't understand the impact they have on our lives. It's disheartening the number of animals still in shelters, how many are surrendered and how many are put down every year. It's also important to note that people need "the right pet", and some are just not sure what that is.

In any case, I hope those of you with pets have happy and healthy furbabies. I would never wish the experience we've been through the last several days on anyone. It's heartbreaking to see our boy, who is normally so happy and full of energy, struggling to even stand because his muscles are still tied in knots from the seizures.

It's been a process. We haven't slept much, myself especially since Shad works second shift and is a very heavy sleeper. I am handling the majority of Caesar's care-taking but he is getting better each day. He can get up on his own now, though sometimes it takes him a while and he cries and struggles and sometimes falls down again. Tough love is hard, but he needs to work his muscles again and get stronger. Our carpets are prettymuch destroyed, because he can't get to his crate to pee - but he did manage to get in and out by himself today to poop (after not going for three days). That was quite an achievement for him, as he needs to step over a 2 inch edge and turn himself around. We'll rent a carpet cleaner once he's back to normal, and maybe replace the carpets if we can ever afford to redo the living room. We don't really care. He's not doing it because he's a bad dog, no more than a toddler can help it if he has a mishap during toilet training.

He snores so loud we can't hear the TV sometimes. He farts and we have to leave the room. He doesn't know his own strength and (when he was well) scared us every time the mailman or my grandfather came over that he might bowl them right off the porch with his "Flying Happy Tackle". But I have to say, the nights he wasn't here were sleepless because he wasn't snoring at my feet. And there was something deeply *wrong* with coming home from the store and not being greeted at the door by 70 pounds of pure happiness.

He's one of our babies. We wouldn't trade him for anything.

We're happy that he's home.

*_{pet owner statistics, pet ownership and shelter statistics}

Help for Caesar

2011-11-28T13:12:00.005-05:00

Caesar, our English Bulldog, began having seizures last night at 7:30pm. Since then, we have been calling animal hospitals and emergency care centers attempting to locate someone who would see him. Unfortunately, we have been unable to find a vet in the area who is willing to take payments.

We were quoted upwards of $1800 for treatment to include several days of boarding, blood work, and other tests to determine the cause and treatment for him. There is no way that we can afford this payment in full. We have $500 from CareCredit, but this is not enough for the initial down-payment for his treatment - the rest of which would have to be paid before we could take him home (within three days).

Because most donation sites require several days to clear, and because we need the money urgently, I have set up a donation button through my paypal account. You can enter any amount - and we would be most grateful for any help whatsoever.

_{for those who do not wish to pay by credit card, my paypal email is
vnicharico (at) gmail (dot) com.}

And because we are all too aware of what season it is, and that everyone is tight right now, this is not a handout we are asking for. Anything that is not used to pay this bill will be refunded on Monday the 5th. Anything that goes toward the bill we will either exchange commissions (for my work or Shad's) or will be repaid when we are able in February out of our taxes.

Caesar has been a joy to us since we brought him home three years ago. Yesterday was his third birthday. Please help us save our best friend so that he will be with us for many more birthdays to come.

Thank you, so much.

Val / Vaia
Shad
Skyler, Damien, Duffy
and Caesar

Minor Update - Sunday Night
He is at the vet, and will be there until they can get his seizures under control. He had one while we were talking to the doctor - which, while it wasn't what we wanted to happen, was good in it's own way. For now, costs will add up at $300 per day until they say he can come home and must be paid before he *can* come home. All we can do is wait to hear from them and see how he is doing...right now, I'm glad he's there, and I am truly grateful to have such wonderful friends and family. ♥ Anything you can do to help, is truly appreciated.

Now...I am going to take a much needed nap until I can call and check on my puppy. ♥

Update - Monday

Spoke to the vet himself earlier and we decided it's best for Caesar to stay with them until tomorrow - better to make sure they have him properly medicated and find the proper dosage than to send him home, risk the chance of him having another seizure at home and us needing to get him back out there again. He did have another seizure last night while he was with them, but was still doing much better. Hopefully by tomorrow morning they will have everything figured out and he won't have any more - even if he will have to take pills twice a day for the rest of his life.

Update - Tuesday/Wednesday:

Caesar is finally home as of yesterday afternoon, and doing fairly well. He has had no further seizures and we are very thankful for that. However, because of all of the seizures he did have, he is in a lot of pain just from muscle soreness and being sedated for almost three days. We've found a trick to get him to take his pills, and are trying to keep him moving as much as possible, but his little legs are having trouble lifting the other 65 pounds of him. He is better than he was when we brought him home though, so there's progress, but if I am MIA, it's because he is my top priority right now, and we aren't getting much sleep. I feel like I have a newborn again...

Adults vs. Adherents...

2011-10-01T12:37:00.000-04:00

I am, far and wide, a bit of a loud mouth. I am highly opinionated, and rather stubborn. I am not an individual who can be led like a sheep by a leash, told what to do without a reason or explanation, nor am I a blind follower of any faith. I ask a lot of questions - sometimes at inappropriate times and of people who should be in a position of authority and "above answering those things". I have done this since I was a child, and there are very few people who I will hold myself in check for.

However, I have learned over the years to pick my battles. I used to be a pretty hardcore advocate for religious freedom and gay rights. I am still outspoken and I am not afraid to post articles that will cause a stir, and sometimes I find myself explaining to those who don't agree with me why certain rights are important, in question or being denied to us. Some people are adult enough to debate openly with me without making it personal. Some people aren't. What has kept me in check for the past few years is where I've been mistaken as to who those adults are.

One of the biggest issues I see in this country nowadays is that a large portion of people refuse to face facts. Wizards First Rule - as my husband would be quick to point out:

"People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it might be true. People's heads are full of knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true. People are stupid; they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool." (Thank you Terry Goodkind).

Far too many people are quick to believe what they read in the papers or online, or what they hear word of mouth, without ever bothering to check the source or look into the actuality of the facts. You also have those who will believe it because "religion dictates", or "my political party says", and never question the reality of the content. There's no common sense left in the world. There don't seem to be any free thinkers left. There certainly don't seem to be enough people left in the world who can read something, or listen to a conversation and stop themselves from being worked into a tizzy long enough to think on the other person's point of view and say "I see where you're coming from, but...".

The line seems to have been drawn in the sand. Whether this was done by Christians or Republicans, I don't know. Whether it's the result of 9/11 or not, I can't be sure, but things have certainly progressed since then, and for the worse.

I've never understood why Racial Equality led to special treatment for anyone who isn't white.

I've never understood why Religious Freedom only applies if you are Christian - this applying to holidays, holy days, religious custom, etc.

I've never understood why Separation of Church and State only applies if you aren't an elected official, or are running for office.

I never understood how people can be so staunchly against immigration, usually the people who so vehemently push what the "Founding Fathers" wanted, when this country was founded by immigrants.

I also have never understood why - if "marriage" is a "religious institution" - it affects our taxes, or why Christians have issues with gay couples gaining "Civil Unions".

I come from a very conservative family. We don't discuss religion, or politics. I also, unfortunately have a large number of people in my family that I need to shelter my gay son from because of the treatment they will enlist on him if they were ever to learn of it. I've walked away from toxic relationships in my life because those people were too blinded by their way of thinking that they dismissed decades of friendship and loyalty. Some of them I miss daily. Some of them I am far better off without. Most forget that I stopped going to church at age 12 because the minister refused to answer my questions, and that one of the church leaders called me a whore. They forget that the woman I lived with regularly asked someone from the church to come and "have me exercised" because I was possessed. And let me just make it clear that while I was a Child of the 80's, with all the hair and bright colors that entails, I wasn't a druggie, I didn't dress in all black, or start dicing up chickens and drinking blood. I simply stopped going to church, stopped dressing like a 16th century school girl and started reading a lot of books.

Funnily enough, the oldest friends I have today are from that period of my life.

I think one of the biggest things I ever learned in my life was to observe and learn from everything around me - to treat others as I want to be treated and learn from other people's mistakes. That's not to say that I haven't made my own, or that I have all the answers, but I pay attention to both sides of the story before making any assumptions. I'm not so quick to write people off because they disagree with me. That doesn't help anyone, and only makes the dividing line that much harder to get across later.

It's already a chasm. It's already a force that drives apart families and life-long friendships. How long before we're stoning people in the streets or burning the unbelievers?

Where are all the role models; the ones who are supposed to teach us right from wrong, the ones who are supposed to do what's best for everyone involved, the ones who aren't supposed to play favorites?

Where are all the adults?

Something I can't understand...

2011-09-23T09:30:00.002-04:00

I got an email today - one among many I've gotten of late - complaining about how we need to cut funding to programs like food stamps and medicaid and "force people to work for a living".

Now here's my problem with that.

What about the people who DO work for a living who depend on those programs?

What about the fact that our economy is currently shite, the fact that - even if you want to work - it's almost impossible to find a job, or that the people in Big Govt. who are complaining about these programs are the same people who shipped all our jobs overseas to make themselves more money?

Are we going to make it a requirement to be working in order to get food stamps and medicaid? Are we prepared to deal with the backlash of starving families, homeless families, unpaid medical bills caused by emergency care to folks who can't pay due to lack of insurance?

I know I've done this math on here in a similar rant before, but lets do it again.

My husband and I take care of a family of 5 on $2200 a month. We receive $230 in Food Stamps. We also have medicaid. This is my income as an artist as well as his income from working full time.

Shocking? A lot of people are shocked that we survive on this. We pay our mortgage. We pay our gas, electric, phone. We own a vehicle. We both have cell phones. We pay Car, Home Owners and Life Insurance every month. We own pets. But we do it. Do we have a lot left over? No. Usually only enough for my husband and I to get lunch on the day a week we go shopping every two weeks. We allow ourselves this as a little luxury. We don't go to the movies. We don't get "date night". We don't buy clothes very often (every couple years, if we need something). The kids get what they need as they need it or depend on hand-me-downs from older cousins. Holidays....we either don't do much of anything or we displace a bill, which puts us behind and raises our payments in the later months - kinda like layaway...We make due with what we have.

I think a lot of the country has lost site of that.

I also think that millionaires who think that they *need* to make millions a year are too attached to their money and deserve to land in the poor-house - just to feel what it's like to eat humble pie.

Let me give you a breakdown of our monthly spending.

Hubby's income (based on 4 weeks): $1600
My income (based on a good month of commissions, and my regular income): $600
That's $2200

Bills in total (mortgage, gas, electric, Insurances, cells, etc.): S1500

So already we're down to $700

We fill the gas tank once every 2 weeks at $80+ a pop. So that's another $160 - and mind you, we don't do any extra driving. We do our shopping on pay day once every two weeks.

Then there's household items, because no one thinks about toilet paper, tooth paste, detergent, feminine stuff (cause I'm a girl...), deodorant, etc. That's about $150

Pet food. Nothing fancy. - $50 a month

That leaves $340 for groceries not covered by Food Stamps. For gas not covered by regular driving to and from work (doctors appointments for the three kids, etc). For school supplies. For anything. And even if all of that went into food for the month That's less than $600 a month for groceries to feed 5 people for a month.

I've challenged people to do that before.

They laugh at me.

We don't eat red meat (because beef is expensive). We don't eat out (because takeout is expensive). We shop as cheaply as we can and buy in bulk as often as we can. We eat the same things prettymuch all the time, but hey....the kids get three meals a day and a few snacks here and there (popcorn mostly). My husband and I eat what's left usually. The kids eat first. But we go without when we have to.

But *this* is the reality of things.

I think Big Govt. is too far removed from life to realize that.

Answers: "Get a job"

Okay...What if I did get a better job. What would that do?

Take my $600 a month and make that $1600. An extra $1000 a month. And this assuming I could find a job making $11 an hour like my husband does after three years working for the same company.

Foodstamps - gone. So - $230.
Extra driving - to and from work. Same as my husband. - $160
Medicaid - gone. So - $450 a month (as per insurance through my husband's job).
That leaves $160 to cover child care (someone has to take care of my kids), and any other food (because I would have to make lunches if I was working outside the home), driving (what if I didn't work as close to home as my husband does?), clothes (because I would need a better wardrobe than two pairs of jeans, a handful of t-shirts and some tanktops)....

Is that worth it? Really?

Answer: "Get a better job".

Where?

Answer: "Go back to school"

No thank you - already paying off student loans that got us nowhere. I know too many people with degrees who can't find jobs in their current field, muchless anywhere else. The myth that getting a degree nets you an extra $25k a year is only good when you can actually find work...

This is reality, folks.

I'm boggled by people who make $50k a year and complain about not being able to pay their bills.The last person I talked to who said they made $120k a year and had no money (this was a couple), I said "You give me your income. I'll take care of your family, my family, give us both a monthly "play time budget", and put away money every month for our retirements and all three of my kids college funds.

They thought I was crazy.

Go ahead and ask me what I'd do if I ever won a million. You can bet there's nothing frivolous about that either.

Someone - I have no idea who - got us a subscription to Money magazine. I don't know why. I appreciate the thought (really, I do). But *shrug* I don't need help budgeting. I don't need help realizing where my money comes from, where it needs to go, and how much we have left at the end of every month. I have no plans to invest because there is nothing to invest in that doesn't risk me losing more.

It's not about being able to make money. It's about being able to live on what you make.

So, going back to where this all started - If you want to restore this economy - don't start cutting programs like medicaid and food stamps. You need to start cutting funding to companies that ship all our jobs overseas so that people in THIS country can find work. You need to make everyone pay the same amount in taxes so that the people at the bottom aren't carrying the people at the top on their backs. You need to take care of the working class first, so they have money to spend to keep the business owners in business.

Why so many people in the Govt. think that you should work backwards...I have no idea....but that's honestly what it looks like they're attempting to do.

I wonder what they'd think if they were forced to live on $2200 a month...no getting comped for meals (or anything else)...same taxes out of their pay as the rest of us....

Just one month.

I bet that would wake a lot of people up....

Introducing The Accidental Squirrel!

2011-04-02T11:03:00.002-04:00

FirebugArts is now working as a subsidiary to the company I am starting with my husband so we will be known collectively as "The Accidental Squirrel".

Our site launch will be next weekend, April 8th through 10th at UBCon in Buffalo, NY where we will be selling prints, dice jewelry and commissions.

If you live in the area or are able to travel, please come out and see us!

Imma go be in a gang....part deux

2011-01-28T16:07:00.004-05:00

Continued from [[ here ]]

Well, they did it...

Court Rules D&D Promotes Gang Activity.

The US appeals court has banned D&D from prisons.

Now all of those prisoners who may have otherwise been sitting around a table, rolling their dice and having a good time playing a GAME will need to find some other activity to abide their time.

I'm going to assume that chess (overcome your opponent) and checkers (take the other players shit) are okay because they are only played by two people at a time? They do allow games like Monopoly, Risk and other games that allow for multiple players. So is it REALLY?? just the DM? Honestly? Doesn't Monopoly usually have a banker who hands out everything and essentially runs the board by giving the other players the "streets they will be working".

Give me a list of games and I can twist each and every one of them into a gang warfare mecha in less than 24 hours. It's all in semantics.

Know what? Guard has to be there during game time, right? Usually more than one. Why can't these guys say "Hey, we want to play this game" and have the guard just be nearby." Or mandate that they can play, but they can't have the same guy DMing every time.

Cause ya know what? There's just as much of a chance of some gang related discussions taking place over a game of monopoly as there is anywhere else in a prison, buckos.

Having grown up in an area where there were a LOT of drugs and gangs were just starting to pop up aroudn our locale, D&D kept a damned good number of us from being with those groups - myself included.

I've thrown dice for 20 years. I've played every version from Gary Gygax original version right up to owning books from 4.0 (which I refuse to convert to yet cause I sunk to much money into 3.5). I still own all of those books. I've taught my kids to play. I've bought my kids their first dice.

D&D teaches you math (LOTS of numbers). It teaches coordination (ever tried to juggle a drink, dice, a notebook, a handbook, a pen and a pencil all at once and remember what is where and when?). It teaches quick thinking and strategy. It also promotes literacy, as there is stuff to read and/write along the way. In fact, D&D could teach these guys a lot of skills these guys might actually USE when they go back into society. But, you know god forbid they teach inmates useful skills so they DON'T go into a life of crime when they come out.

You get a guy hooked on D&D and I can almost guarantee you that when he gets out of the joint, he's not going to go looking for drugs...he's going to go to the local gaming store and look FOR A GAME!

The largest group I remember playing in was 10 people. We are ALL still friends today. We were sober. We were clean. The most we ever did was stay up late (like 36 hours straight kinda late) and eat ridiculous amounts of junk food. We COULD have been out with the people we knew from school partying and getting wasted - but we weren't. We were sitting at home around the kitchen table laughing and having a good time.

And those are some of the best times I have ever had in my life.

If the US Appeals court has done anything, it's just increased the chances of gang violence in prisons. And you can bet you ass I'm going to be watching the statistics from here on out and every time I hear about a prison riot, I'm going to bring this up again.

Cause if they had been sitting around a table, laughing and having a good time, worrying about the kobald invasion they're not going to be worrying about what gang on the outside (or inside) is doing squat. And when it's over, whoever is in charge of the next game is going to be busy writing up a campaign, and the ones who aren't running it, are going to be hunting through their books looking for better armor, better spells, and other ways to become better players instead of going out in the yard and punching in a few faces.

And the REAL reason I'm so pissed off by all this, is because there are parents out there who are going to hear this ruling and decide that D&D is dangerous for their kids.

But Grand Theft Auto is okay. CAUSE IT'S JUST A GAME.

So congratulations, US Appeals Court. You fucked up.

You have set us back on the road to the 1980's when the mention of D&D had old some screaming for God to save them from the Devil.

I always laughed at it back then because as someone who played I thought it was completely stupid to think all of us dice-heads were going to run around town casting spells out of the players handbook. Because it WAS stupid back then.

And it's still stupid.

"Beware my d20, dude. If I roll a critical, I'mma take you out!"

Yeah...much more dangerous than a gun.

Imma go be in a gang....

2011-01-25T08:29:00.006-05:00

This has got to be the single most ludicrous thing I've read all week...

Seventh Circuit Rules Dungeons & Dragons A Threat to Prison Security

I swear...all those years I spent reading up on THAC0 and collecting dice. All that time we spent sitting around the kitchen table at 'Chelle's eating pizza and drinking copious amounts of Mt. Dew, we were actually a gang! Who would have thought that a group of geeky, unpopular misfits like us were contributing to something like that?! I mean, only the kids everybody was afraid of were in a gang - you know, the ones who got the school locked down and stopped our off-campus lunches for shooting at each other. I never thought we were just as dangerous, what with our dice and our books and our little note pads filled with meaningless information about fictitious monsters.

I wasn't a DM, I was a gang leader! All those maps and NPC's I wrote up...it was actually a means of gang training. I mean, everyone needs to know how to take on a dragon, or an orc invasion. We should all make sure that our Armor Class is high enough to withstand the attacks of arrows, swords...and magic missiles.

I mean seriously...SERIOUSLY??

Nevermind how we played when I was in high school, what about now? I mean, we've taught our oldest to play D&D. Does that mean we're contributing to the delinquency of a minor by feeding him the seeds of gang warfare? Does buying him a set of dice (or four) mean we're trafficking in deadly weapons?

What about our military? I can't even begin to stress how many folks in the military I know who play D&D - regularly. Is that considered Anti-gang because it's government sponsored? Oh wait, the military WANTS to encourage camaraderie. That's okay then...

Honestly, I'm surprised that Hasbro isn't all over this shit. I mean, how many parents are going to read this story and side with Muraski? I know Hasbro isn't really concerned with losing a couple thousand potential sales because of some nut-job, but really how far can one take this? I mean, remember back in the 80's when they were trying to get D&D banned as Satanic because some kid with a mental disorder convinced himself that he could fly and jumped off a roof? That's the same thing that's happening here. Some dude who happens to be a higher up in a correctional facility found some obscure connection between a couple criminals who happened to play D&D in the past and said "Hey, they're trying to start a gang".

Give me a break.

I think I'm going to start walking around downtown with a player's handbook under my coat and walk up to people in the street and try to get them to "join my gang". As a friend of mine suggested - we'll all get matching tattoos and kill a gang of kobalds single-handed for the initiation.

All those nights gathered around the table will lead to caffeine induced raids on the local book store to steal all their dice and the latest modules, which will soon have to be kept under lock and key because of the rampant attacks on the store owners that force them to turn over their entire collection of WotC merchandise.

Honestly, this all falls back on where to draw the line. Since Homeland Security started trying to redefine "gangs", we've gone from "a gang is a group of three or more individuals who engage in criminal activity and identify themselves with a common name or sign"* to "a group of three or more individuals who gather for a common purpose".

What's worse is that I do know kids who have been stopped and accused of being in a gang because there were several of them gathered together, all dressed in dark colors (black, as goth is the thing now) and the locals (older folks who live near the school) were getting antsy. So the cops come, flash their lights, whop their sirens and tell them to break it up. No drugs, no alcohol, no weapons...just a group of spindly little goth kids.

Where does it end?

As my husband so bluntly put it this morning: "The terrorists have won". The very definition of terrorism is "to incite undue panic in order to achieve a goal". Congratulations. This is "undue panic". Not only undue, but unethical, unreasonable and illogical panic.

Do these prisoners have access to The Count of Monte' Cristo? Shawshank Redemption? The Prisoner of Alkatraz? Are they allowed to watch the movies? have they ever played Grand Theft Auto? *raises an eyebrow* Taken a chemistry class? ALL of these things are more rational and reasonable threats to security than a GAME where people sit around, roll dice, eat stuff that clogs your arteries and encourages you to save a helpless victim from an evil dragon in a fictitious world ruled by a vicious tyrant.

Yeah, I'm sure all those fellows sitting aroudn the table are just plotting a riot - right inbetween their whining about how "if that one only would have been a twenty" and emphasizing that their "evasion is high enough to avoid the acid trap". Now just need to decipher the hidden codes in their character sheets and we'll be all good.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take my Half-Orc on a run through the Waterworks so I can make level five.

* _{http://www.ncjrs.gov/spotlight/gangs/summary.html}

Continued [[ here ]]

Olberman: Violence has NO place in Democracy

2011-01-10T16:14:00.002-05:00

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Count me OUT! - National Coming out Day 2010

2010-10-08T18:52:00.007-04:00

Howdie folks!

My name is Vai (V., Vaia, etc, etc). I am bisexual and I'm participating in Count me Out - A Grassroots National Coming out Day 2010.

Who

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning and Straight Allies, who believe in the power of visibility and are committed to combating injustices facing the LGBT community in areas of marriage, military service, adoption rights, anti-bullying/anti-homophobia efforts, diversity education and full equality under state and federal law.

What

A grassroots social media campaign called "COUNT ME OUT‟, whose goal is for social media users to “donate” their main profile image to include the word OUT or ALLY on National Coming Out Day, Monday October 11th. Participants are welcome and encouraged to utilize the days preceding and following Monday Oct 11th to participate as well. Should they not feel “OUT” or “ALLY” speaks to them as closely as another word of their choice, individuals are welcome to utilize another word or statement. For those participants utilizing Twitter, flickr, YouTube, the hashtag #CountMeOut will also be encouraged

When

Let's start now! But the official date is Monday October 11, 2010
…and continuing throughout that entire week.

Where

ANY Social media site (deviantart, twitter, Facebook, etc etc) Be loud and proud in your support and if you do please feel free to link me in a comment!

Why

…is visibility and “pride” important for the LGBT community?

** Students who describe themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered are five times more likely to miss school because of feeling unsafe. 28% are forced to drop out.
** The vast majority of victims of anti-lesbian/gay violence - possibly more than 80% - never report the incident, often due to fear of being "outed”.
** 75% of people committing hate crimes are under age 30 - one in three are under 18 - and some of the most pervasive anti-gay violence occurs in schools.
** A survey of 191 employers revealed that 18% would fire, 27% would refuse to hire and 26% would refuse to promote a person they perceived to be lesbian, gay or bisexual.
** Lesbian, gay and bisexual youth are at a four times higher risk for suicide than their straight peers.
** In high schools across America 87% of LGBT youth have reported missing at least one day of school due to safety concerns and threats of violence based on their sexual orientation.

How

IMAGE CUSTOMIZATION INSTRUCTIONS:
Simply colorize your main picture and add block letters “OUT” or “ALLY”
OR…
Go to pixlr.com
Select "Open image from computer" or "Open image from URL"
Select your image

TINT THE IMAGE:
In the bar at the top of the website click on "Adjustment"
It will open a drop-down menu. Select the option at the very bottom "Color Lookup"
It will open a selection of colors. Select the rainbow image (the fourth option)

WRITE "OUT" OR "ALLY":
Click on the letter "A" on the tool bar located on the left side of the website
Then click anywhere on the image, opening a text menu box.
Type "OUT" (if you are openly LGBT) or "ALLY" (if you are straight, but support gay rights), select a font you like best, in either black or white
Click on the arrow symbol at the top-right of the tool bar, then click on the word "OUT" or "ALLY" to move it into your desired position on the image.
SAVE:
Click on "File" at the very top left corner of the website.
It will open a drop-down menu. Click "Save."

and then upload your newfound awesome ID to deviantART, Twitter, Myspace, Facebook or anywhere else!

This country needs to grow the F^*$ up!

2010-08-14T08:25:00.003-04:00

I've heard so much $#it in the last few days about the Mosque "at ground zero" that it makes my stomach crawl - not because I don't want them to build one there, but because of all the hate-mongering, two-faced, bigoted assholes preaching THEIR hatred against people who want to be free to practice their religion in a country that, omg...was founded on that very principle!

I've heard that this mosque will be a terrorist training camp. I've heard that it will be the "hub of terrorist activity in NYC". I've heard that (and I found this one funny) they will move BinLaden into the US and hide him there right under our noses.

Give me a fucking break.

There's also some similar bullshit going on in Tennessee where people are being STONED by the locals who don't want Muslims to move into their city. Sad thing is, I used to live within 10 minutes of the town in question. Loved the area. Hated the narrow-minded, local mentality.

Seriously people. Why the hell do you think these people hate Americans? Can you not grasp that you're giving them more of a reason to WANT to bomb the fuck out of you?

People seem to forget that this country was founded because those first Americans wanted to practice religion(s) that weren't the mainstay. They fled from oppression to practice their own beliefs. I don't care whether they were pseudo-christian or not. And yet somehow, since then, the overwhelming cry of the people is "Conform, or get out".

What the fuck is that?

What happened to the Great melting Pot that I heard about as a kid? What happened to Freedom of Religion? What happened to Freedom of Speech?

Or does that only apply to straight, white, American-Born, Christian bigots?

I tell you, it's been a long time since I've been able to say I was proud to be an American. And actually, the older I get, the more embarrassed I am by this country and it's people. This sort of thing is a prime example of why...

Help Fund Indie Comics!!

2010-08-10T08:48:00.002-04:00

Why would I wanna be anybody else but me?

2010-06-16T16:57:00.000-04:00

Hangin' with the Fox

2010-06-13T11:39:00.004-04:00

Sunday afternoons have become a rare occasion for me to listen to the Radio...internet radio, that is. My friend, Pedro Raposo, now has his own two hour broadcast between 12:00 PM (noon) and 2:00 Eastern time.

This is Portuguese radio, so many of the songs are not sung in English, but as a music lover, I listen simply for the sake of music - and GOOD music. Over the years I've come to listen to a lot of music from other countries, whether I understand what they're saying or not. I've found several fantastic groups this way and many of these were suggested to me by Pedro :) There is a great mix of music here though, and he does play some American tunes as well; Iron Maiden, Scorpions, Ozzy, etc.

So if you're a fan of Metal, Industrial, "Black Metal", Steampunk, Pirate Rock and that sort of sound, pop in to http://www.warfareradio.pt.vu/ at 12PM Eastern US time on Sundays and Hang out in the Fox's Den with us :)

Please enter your name in the chat when you come in so we know who you are :) Much better than seeing a "guest"!

WHAT a month!

2010-05-30T13:23:00.002-04:00

This month has been very much the rollercoaster. However, it's been probably the best month my family has had in a very long time, mostly because my husband has been home for the majority of it.

After three months of dealing with the ridiculous corporate hypocrisy, favoritism and complete disregard for the employees at work, Shad finally walked off the job three weeks ago. It was the third time he had quit for the same reasons in a years time. The stress had gotten to the point where he was physically ill from it. Since he left it's been a reminder of the early years of our marriage. We're simply better when we spend more time together - which is usually the opposite for folks.

He's put in applications, so now we wait to see how things go from here. What the schedules will be, what kind of toll it will take on me, the kids, the relationship(s). And with summer coming, the kids being home more, the stress mounts.

I've also recently gone to the doctor for the first time in 20 years (other than the months surrounding giving birth to the kids, of course). No news yet, but many blood tests have been taken, results pending. Diets back on track. Workouts back on track.

We shall see if it has any results that are lasting and or beneficial.

I'm still not a fan of someone else's methods :p But it's a holistic doctor, so we'll see what sort of things I can do without popping happy pills every day 9which I refuse to do).

Work (for me) is good. TI love the testing, and the crew. I am really enjoying the promotional work, and the fact that I post in roughly eight different galleries at the moment ensures lots of exposure for both myself and my clients.

Hopefully that will bring the commissions and some extra money!

*fingers crossed*

IDAHO

2010-05-17T16:59:00.000-04:00

Today is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia

Today marks the 20th anniversary of homosexuality being removed from the International Classification of Diseases of the World Health Organization (WHO).

May 17 is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia (IDAHO). This day “highlights that in reality it is homophobia that is shameful and must be deconstructed in its social logic and fought against openly.”

According to Stonewall, one in five lesbian and gay people have experienced a homophobic hate crime or incident in the last three years.

Visit the IDAHO website to find out how you can take action.

Spread the word!

Freelancer's Profile

2010-05-11T13:35:00.001-04:00

It really shouldn't have taken me as long as it did to get this up again, but it's finally posted.

Feel free to pass this info on if you know anyone who is a writer, DM, GM, or role-playing enthusiast that might like to see their original characters in the digital flesh.

Bleh...

2010-05-07T21:57:00.002-04:00

_cross-posted

The weather is miserable at the moment.

Last week gave us a wonderful taste of nice weather and warm temperatures, and today we're back at 50 and rain.

So I've kept myself busy working on promos and commissions, and been writing a short (or two) for out favorite sexy succubus. I'm collecting the pieces for "The Rights of Absolution" which I'm not sure how many there will be--currently there are four and one in the works. These pieces will tie together the other three works (Lesser Gods, Angels and Devils and the Sisters trilogy) by introducing supporting and main characters that our Flower has "touched" along her way.

I may post some exerts on one of the blogs just to pique interest, but that remains to be seen yet. I'm still debating as to whether to pull things down from deviant at the moment since it makes for irritated publishers, but we'll see. There's also the possibility that I'll merge my accounts there, which I've considered doing for quite some time. After seven years on the site, I might as well consolidate and do some spring cleaning, eh?

But, it's time for work (as if I'm not already multi-tasking), and then some light reading before bed (WeaveWorld for the 15th time, haha).

Sleep well, folks.

Commercial Blog is back up!

2010-05-06T22:58:00.002-04:00

I reopened my commercial blog with a facelift. Hopefully I will be able to post my work up there regularly and keep it rolling since I have so much more on my plate than I used to. I'll more than likely be posting pieces of written work, samples of wedding invites and commissioned pieces, promotional images that I've been doing for various vendors and stores, and of course personal work as well. Whether I keep this blog open or just move everything over there remains to be seen, but perhaps I'll keep my rants where the customers can't find them, as readily, lol. We'll see.

But, if you'd like to have a looksee: http://vnicharico.blogspot.com

formspring.me

2010-01-31T13:40:00.001-05:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/Vaia

formspring.me

2010-01-31T13:38:00.003-05:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/Vaia

formspring.me

2010-01-31T13:38:00.001-05:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/Vaia

Dear God, Save me from your "good people"...

2010-01-13T16:58:00.002-05:00

I was just directed to this article over on Gawker...

The article is based on a clip of the 700 Club's Pat Robertson stating essentially that the people of Haiti are getting what they deserve.

Now, this isn't the first time this bigot has essentially thanked God for the death of thousands of innocent people. He did it after 9/11. He did it after the Tsunami. He did it after Katrina. His thinking is that God is causing natural disasters to take the lives of all these people because they're sinners.

Nice.

Did anyone ever stop to think that "God" (Mother Nature, Allah, the IPU) is trying to decrease the surplus population that's been brought about by "good Christians" who are limiting access to proper birth control, going into foreign countries and changing their way of life to extend the lives (and often times the suffering) of their people. Beyond that, we've got people living 30-50 years longer than they used to thanks to modern medicine. We can save those who may have died at birth, prolong the lives of those who might have died of illness and accidents, and even bring people back from the dead in some cases!

So in a way I agree with him that we're responsible for what's happening. We're responsible for allowing the world to become overpopulated. We're responsible for allowing ourselves to choke out the atmosphere, wasting our natural resources, and for ignore the signs provided by the world around us.

We're responsible for allowing people to preach that Birth Control is BAD, and that teaching PROPER, intelligent birth control to our young is enabling. These people have essentially taken away the one thing that would allow our children to STOP having children of their own.

I do believe there is a higher power at work. I believe that "God" in whatever form you might give him/her/it is trying to stop us from crowding ourselves out of our own planet. Gay's can't have children of their own, but they can adopt the children brought about by another's irresponsibility. They are capable of love. They are certainly capable of morality. I believe there is a higher power at work within nature, bringing about illnesses and natural disasters to thin the herd, so to speak.

Is it pretty? Certainly not. It's sad. It's always sad to see death and destruction. But it's unfortunately necessary. And I think further proof that if there is a God, he/she/it is unbiased and doesn't give a damn what nationality you are, what religion you are, what country you live in or what your sexual orientation is. I'm willing to bet that those who have died in the disasters Mr. Robertson has spouted his rhetoric about have come from every category.

It's always people like him who keep me from putting any credence in Christianity. His type of thinking is just sick. It's just as hate filled as any radical Muslim terrorist tirade.

Do you know who I pray for?

I pray for the people who listen to him; that they might one day see that his preaching is completely hypocritical. That they might wake up and see what is really going on around them instead of wading through the fog...

God help us...

my sentiments exactly...

2009-11-28T21:20:00.001-05:00

Disturbed...

2009-11-20T14:09:00.002-05:00

Yes, I'm disturbed by the fact that as of today my bank account is overdrawn by $412.86 and I just can't be bothered to care.

Why?

Well, the very simple fact is that it's become impossibly to balance a budget that is non-existent.

Not long ago, my husband received a raise from work. This covered the 10% that he (and other employees where he works) lost at the end of last year. Essentially, it put us slightly above square in regard to cash flow, but didn't begin to make up for the fact that we had fallen behind after he lost the 10% initially. Our income went from just over $2000 a month to just over $2200 per month. $200 sounds like a lot. But it's not for a family of 5. Keep in mind please, that this includes my income as well.

We have turned off two of our three cell phones (my husbands and sons), saving us $110 a month. We have been able to sign out of some of my husband student loans, saving us another $100. We don't eat out more than once a month. We shop at discount stores. We buy in bulk.

And yet, we are still over budget by some $300 per month. Car insurance, life insurance, home owners insurance, gas for the truck, necessities (toilet paper, tooth paste, deodorant, pull-ups, feminine products, clothing for growing boys), mortgage, gas bill, electric bill, phone bill (which is surprisingly the lowest of all our bills even though it includes the internet). And then of course, there is the school, who expects parents to shell out money every time we turn around then doesn't cash the checks that we give them for months at a time. How silly of us to believe that a single check made out for the full amount on the order form would be better for their treasurer than for her to have to deal with who paid what...

They're apparently never going to cash them anyway -- until everyone has forgotten about the checks they wrote -- or gone holiday shopping...

No. I've reached the point of not caring.

When my children's clothes don't fit and they need new underwear, or their ear(s) are turning green and we need to spend $5 for something made of surgical steel. Or we have to put gas in the truck to drive across town to visit the doctor because the local hospital is full of incompetent asses. I'm sorry, but I can't be bothered by what isn't in my bank account anymore.

We have put off the creditors as long as we can without being sued. We aren't far enough in debt to qualify for bankruptcy, or consolidations. We don't qualify for grants to have work done to our home that would bring down the $300 per month gas bills, or update the wiring in our home, or appliances and maybe bring down the $200 electric bills. We don't qualify for anything that would fix the leaking pipes and plumbing to bring down the $700 water bill three times a year. No, we were turned down because there is too much to do, and the grant would only cover part. But they only work "all or nothing".

And we obviously can't afford to do the work ourselves that has to be done before they would come and do the rest.

So, I sit here and try to fill out the re-certification paperwork for Social Services to see whether the $2 raise my husband received will cause us to lose our food stamps and medical insurance. It won't surprise me if we do. I'm just forced to wonder how they think people can live on $2000 a month, and have health insurance, and be able to eat.

Do they know how much a 15 year old eats?

Do they know that a 7 year old eats more than a 15 year old?

and my kids aren't overweight...they're actually slightly underweight for their age...so it's certainly not that they're eating more than they should. Nor do I allow them to eat crap.

We can't afford to feed them crap.

The next two months will be spent paying things intermittently in order to keep them on, hoping that HEAP will cover some of the gas bill, and the electric bill. And we'll wait for the taxes, and pay ourselves back to square. We'll hope that the snow holds out long enough to fix the truck, and that there is enough left in the taxes to do so after paying off the bills...

But it's become impossible to sit here and nitpick every nickle and dime that goes out the door. Denying my husband a $1 cup of coffee once a week, or my kids a buck or two to buy a movie from the library.

It's insanity and it's driving me to it.

Somebody send me that Work at Home phone number that won't have me spending extra money to sell things, or add phone lines, or whatever else is needed.

Seeing as the $1.20 that I spend every month to list my art to sell just cost me $35 in overdraft fees.

Funny how the only thing that's been saving us is the fact that dumping money into the credit card to pay other things with the credit card saves us from having to pay extra for the credit card...if that makes any sense at all.

It's not so bad to be a Socialist, you know. No one living up in their ivory tower looking down on the peasants starving for a crust of bread below. Sad thing about this country is that the people making the laws don't have to worry about eating, or paying their bills, or clothes, or any of the basic essentials that those of us who work 9-5 jobs, pay our taxes and PAY THEIR SALARIES do...

Not that they give a shit or anything...

Nope. Have yet to meet a politician who does.

It's a sick, sad world...

2009-11-13T17:40:00.004-05:00

I just read this article on the Washington Post site that states the Catholic diocese of Washington D.C. is threatening to withdraw their public services if the local government didn't change the proposed same-sex marriage law that's on the table.

Now, for one, they're offering these services using $8.2 million in public funds since 2006. But secondly, as a church, they should be willing to provide these works because it is their DUTY as defined by the bible in numerous passages:

1 Timothy 6:18 That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate;
Titus 3:8 This is a faithful saying, and these things I will that thou affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable unto men.
Titus 3:14 And let ours also learn to maintain good works for necessary uses, that they be not unfruitful.
Colossians 1:10 That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God;
Hebrews 13:21 Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
James 3:13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.
Matthew 6:1-18 Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven. Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth: That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly. And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. ...
1 Timothy 5:10 Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.
Matthew 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
James 2:15-16 For if a brother or a sister be naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you say unto them, Depart in peace: warm yourselves, and fill your bellies, not withstanding you give them not those things which are needful to the body, what helpeth it?
I John 3:17 And whosoever hath this world’s good and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?

So obviously, the Bible itself tells Catholics to go out and take care of the hungry, the homeless and the sick. It says they shouldn't demand anything of others for their services. It says that they shouldn't be complaining if others don't accept them. It also says they shouldn't discriminate.

And while I'm all for allowing them to believe whatever the hell they want, I don't think for one second that they should be allowed to take public funds and then tell the government that gave them their funds that they're going to be discriminatory with it.

I honestly wish that all the people who are/were so up in arms over black rights would wake the hell up and look at how similar this all is. It wasn't long ago that shop keepers could refuse to serve you if you were black; that blacks weren't allowed to have the same rights as whites (including marriage). They had to have their own churches. Sad thing is now some of those things that they were forced out of, they now demand, but that's a different story altogether.

The discussion continues to go back to the semantics of "marriage" and what it is. I've said it before and will continue to stand behind it:

1) If "Marriage" is a religious institution, then it should have no effect on your taxes.
2) If they want to define the word marriage as something because of religious teachings, then technically anyone not...married...in a church should get a "Certificate of Union" instead of a "Marriage License".
3) Also, since there ARE churches and diocese in the US that SUPPORT gay marriage, then gays should be allowed to MARRY in those churches. Period.
4) If the Church wants to dictate what the government does to/for it's people, then they should all be paying their taxes...

I could probably list a couple dozen things, but honestly it really does boil down to the church wanting to define a word, and then demanding that any other variation of that word is the same thing.

This is not - NOT! - a Christian country. There are people living in the US who are Muslim, Jewish, Agnostic, Atheist, Pagan, Hindu, Buddhist, Sikh, the list goes on and on! And yet somehow the Right-Wing Conservatives rear their ugly heads every time something doesn't go their way and blame the little guy.

It's sick. It's sad. It's hypocritical. And yes...VERY anti-Christian.

But then most Right-Wing Conservatives pick and choose, uphold and disregard the words of the Bible as they see fit for whatever is happening at that moment in time.

The very definition of hypocrisy...

2009-10-09T12:59:00.002-04:00

I grew up in a rather shitty situation.

I was away from the vast majority of my biological family for the better part of my life--from the time I was six or seven until I was 23--and really didn't get to know any of them personally. I'm the oldest of 11 kids, only 8 of which I've ever met, and wasn't really there to see any of them grow up. I didn't get to go to family functions or see babies born. I'm not as close with my cousins as some of the others are and I'm only now starting to forge a real relationship with any of them or my siblings. I was "raised" more by my own wits and wisdom than by the alcoholic and schizophrenic whose home I lived in. My friends were my family, and I adore them for the things that they've taught me over the years. But being away from my biological family also gave me a very unique perspective. I'm objective. I don't look at them with the complete acceptance and aloofness that often comes with family who are stuck to one another 24/7. That doesn't mean I love them less. I do love my family very much. It's just sort of a reversal, I would say. I love my family with the kind of love that people give to people they have known their whole lives.

I'm also guilty of a rarity known as unconditional acceptance. It drives my husband mad. My "brother" Micheal can attest to this, as I've known him longer than anyone. I think he's an absolute moron at times. I've told him so repeatedly. But when you've known someone since second grade and seen every aspect of their lives--good, bad and ugly--you just come to accept them for who they are and what life has made of them. You shake your head and give them advice, and learn to look the other way if they choose to not accept it.

Not having my biological family around me, I found myself looking for what a family should be, and that unconditional acceptance is part of that. Here they are, surrounding me again for the last 12 years, and I see things that most others have probably already looked away from. It's not that I fault them for it, but more of a stock and store: "Okay, this person has this problem". "This person is repeating the same bad patterns they grew up seeing". "This person is looking for a release from the denial of someting totally unrelated". I get that. I see it all.

Perhaps one of my bigger gifts/faults is that I'm sickeningly observant and have an almost photographic memory when it comes to people and situations. It's sad that I can't remember to make my son's lunch in the morning, but I can recall conversations almost verbatim that I had with someone 20 years ago, or details of someone else's relationship that they don't remember in the slightest.

It's made me very nostalgic. I keep little things, silly little things, like paper table cloths and locks of hair. But I can tell you who every one of them belongs to, and exactly what happened on the night that table cloth was written on. I've even had friends send me things so that I could remember some event, or recall it for them because they know that this piece of nostalgia has significance, but they can't remember why.

I guess it's a good thing.

But, I've certainly gotten away from the point, haven't I?

What bothers me is that so few people actually commit to memory the things that others do for them. The things that make family and friends important. They're so willing to throw away everything they've had for years based on a single current event. They say things that are detrimental; things that can change the whole course of the relationship to the point where it's irreparable...and for what? Their own pride? Their own self-righteousness?

Now that's not to say I never did anything stupid in my life. On the contrary I'm sure I burned some bridges when I was a kid and did some things that were just incredibly idiotic. But for a long time, I also internalized everything. I kept things to myself and watched the people around be self-destruct because no one else would tell it to them straight. So I found my backbone (which incidentally also drives my husband nuts) and learned to tell people exactly what they need to hear. It's not always pretty, but there comes a time when you have to stop hoping that they'll pick themselves up and learn from their mistakes and actually TELL them that they're fucking up their life. Tough love.

My kids get it a lot. My oldest has said that we're terrible because we're harder on him than a lot of parents seem to be. But years later, he's starting to get why. He's seeing that his friends are allowed to get away with just about anything, and then it comes back to bite them in the ass. He's not overly responsible...I mean, he's 15...but he's at least learning the value of money, and that he's not going to get everything he asks for just because he wants it.

What pains me though, is sitting back and watching someone tear everyone around them apart because they won't listen when people tell them straight. When they'll sit there and wallow in their self-pity while everyone around them tries to fish them out, and then blame those same people when their life comes crashing down on their head because they wouldn't take good advice, or any advice. They have no problem asking for handouts from family and friends or putting others in financial jeopardy to save their own hides, but they're too "proud" to get up and take advantage of things that are out there that could actually help them. It's that "If I'm down, everybody else comes down too" mentality that just boggles me.

"God helps those who help themselves" applies to any god, of any faith. I don't care who the hell you are. If you're not going to get off your ass and do SOMETHING to make your life what you want it to be, what gives you the right to expect someone else to hand you the things to make it that way? What gives you the right to put other people through hell because you aren't getting your way? It's something a three-year-old does when he's not getting that toy he wants for Christmas, not something a grown man does because he doesn't want to stop smoking pot long enough to pass a drug test.

I don't know...maybe it's just me, but I can't rationalize some of the things I've been seeing/hearing/reading lately. I just don't think it's right to have to depend on anyone else to get you through. I can understand the depression and self-loathing that comes from being in a crappy state, but I can't understand sitting back and doing nothing with your hand out waiting for someone else to pick you up while simultaneously refusing to accept those hands.

For those wondering, yes this rant was pointed...Few will know the real reasons behind it, and some who do know those reasons might not even pick up on it, but I had to get it off my chest.

To those who are down and need a hand up, take it when it's offered whether it's what you want or not. Sometimes what you NEED isn't what you want. Because it's what you NEED. Regardless, you'll never get anywhere without trying...

Getting back into the groove...

2009-09-25T14:59:00.002-04:00

So, I've decided I need to start writing again. Not just because I miss it, but because I need something constructive to fill the hours that I have to myself during the day.

I've lost something over the years that I find myself missing. Not so much the...I don't know...connection? that I had to my characters, as they are all different facets of my personality, but the feeling behind them. And it isn't just the fiction that I miss, it's the fact that I've lost a connection with myself that had been built over decades and lost when my children were little and home all the time. They took over my psyche in a way that wasn't really healthy and whittled down some things that, while they're still there to a far lesser degree, I never should have allowed myself to let go of.

Kids can do that.

Having back a huge part of my personal life and relationship has also changed several things that had changed me. Last year was...for those who don't know...very bad. A lot of things happened that really locked the foundation of my home, and changed the entire dynamics of just about everything. Having gotten past it all has made us far stronger than I think we have ever been, but at the same time there's a little cynical devil in me that flares up every time certain things are said or done.

I'm capable of forgiveness, but have a damned near photographic memory for events.

Anyway...

I haven't decided where I want to start yet. I don't know whether I want to pull out one of the many unfinished volumes that are lying about and start back at page one, editing and revamping so that I can continue on, or if I want to start completely fresh and being in my facets as they truly are--pure and unabashedly glorious.

I want to hear the Voice of Spring in my head. I want to feel the Wings of Flame on my back. I want to lie awake in fear of the Flower of the Underworld.

I want to know them again.

I want to BE them again.

In fact, I think having written that, the best way to pay them homage would be to write a three book set, now wouldn't it?

hmm...

I'll have to ponder that one further.

Firebug, out.

Rant #3012...

2009-09-22T18:06:00.002-04:00

There is a difference between debating, and flat telling someone they're wrong.

The purpose of a debate is to discuss opposing viewpoints. All people involved in a debate go in believing that they are correct, but knowing that the opposing side is under the same impression. Usually, and I use that word loosely, both sides know enough about the other to counter their arguments. In the end, you might not have changed the other person's mind, but you're sure to have taught them something by exchanging your viewpoints in an intelligent manner.

Unfortunately, when it comes to religion, most folks don't understand the concept of "intelligent debate".

There's a disclaimer up on here for a reason. I'm a hard-headed individual--very set in my ways--but I have no issues with other people having that same hard-headedness. What irks me to no end is when you have a hard-corp, right-wing fundie who flips out on you because they happen to find out you don't subscribe to the same beliefs as they do. They're not interested in debating. They're not interested in hearing your side. They're not interested in learning about your beliefs nor do they have any prior knowledge (a good majority of the time) about them. They just go off spouting hellfire, brimstone and damnation.

I have no time for that bullshit.

I've studied religion for a long, LONG time, and can generally debate with the best of them. I don't claim to subscribe to any one religion because, well to be honest, I don't think any of them are correct. Research makes you a cynic. You start to see flaws all over the place, and any intelligent person knows that it is impossible to believe completely in something that you know is flawed.

That's not to say that you can't be Christian because you think that there is corruption in the church. There is. It's more the difference between the people who believe the Bible is 100% true and those who know that it's open to interpretation. Try explaining to the latter that the Bible has seen thousands of modifications even though right in it's pages it states that any modification to it is abominable and they'll call you a liar (better yet, pull out a 50 year old bible and compare it to their shiny new one and show them differences...That's fun).

I have Christian friends and family who are totally secure in their beliefs. More power to them! We've either agreed to disagree--sometimes because they can't shake me in a debate, other times because they don't want to be shaken themselves--or simply don't touch on the subject at all.

I don't exactly pride myself on the fact that I've made some people doubt their faith, but honestly, I'm a subscriber to the belief that you can't really know what you believe unless you DO look into other faiths. How do you know it's the right one for you if you've never tried anything different? How do you know you don't like pizza if you've never had a slice? Really.

We teach that to our kids. Why the hell should it be any different as an adult?

And that's not "Go out and find yourself a book about X written by someone who is staunchly against it". That defeats the purpose, now doesn't it? Best to find something written by an objective party, sure, but if that's not available go looking for something written by a believer. Something that will give you the same sense of that faith as you want others to have in yours.

Anyone can pick out ugly little exaggerated factoids to turn you away, but if you read something that glorifies another way of thinking and STILL don't think it's for you THEN SO BE IT!

But for Christ Sake, don't go off half-cocked telling people they're wrong when you don't have one freakin' iota of a clue what they even believe. And don't take for granted that what someone who is vehemently against something has told you about it. 9 times out of 10 you're back to those ugly little exaggerations again.

It's all about learning, accepting, and growing.

Growing.

Be a freakin' adult. Grow the hell up and stop pointing fingers at the other guy.

Discuss. LISTEN. Learn something.

It's actually the BEST way to make your own faith stronger.

Dear Dumbass, revisited...

2009-09-09T21:02:00.004-04:00

As continued from here...

Once again you fail to grasp the concept of reality the fact that what you have decided in your jaded little mind is the exact opposite of what people actually want.

You continue to ignore the fact that the object of your obsession has continued to tell you since contacting you again that she wants nothing more than to be friends. She has NO interest in renewing a relationship with you at this time or in the future. That isn't my doing, it's hers.

Obviously, you either think that she is incapable of making her own decisions, or that she is messed up to the point where someone else needs to tell her what to do. I assure you that isn't the case. I've never told her what to do, only offered her advice, which she has several times decided not to take, which is totally within her rights. I'm also not the only person that she talks to, nor am I the only one giving her an opinion. Neither am I the only one who feels the way I do.

You have taken her saying that "whatever happens in the future, happens" as some way of her saying that there is a chance, while ignoring her blatantly telling you that she's not interested in anything but being friends. It's gotten to the point where you are completely predictable, which is only further proof that you, in fact, have not changed as much as you claim. You are still the same selfish child that you were well over a year ago; throwing your tantrums each time you don't get your way and telling her what she thinks and feels as though she can't make those decisions for herself. She can, and she did, and it is YOU who can't accept the decision that she made, not her.

As for your comments regarding me and my relationship, you really have no right to speak there, nor do you have any clue what you're talking about. You keep going on and on about your ex-wife and how much that marriage affected you. I'm sorry, but your 3-ish year marriage that fell apart doesn't give you the right or experience to give me advice about my marriage of 11 years. I'm not controlled, nor am I confined, or ignored. If you had any clue about the reality of my relationship instead of picking apart some bits and pieces of issues that are long since past...well...it still wouldn't give you the right to give me advice. You don't know me. You don't know my husband. And no, we don't know you personally, but we do know her far better than you, which becomes more obvious by the day, and we've seen the events of the past few years first hand.

I've been there to listen to her cry over your stupidity. I've been there to listen to her scream when she's furious with you. I've been there to listen to her make her own decisions for good or bad. And I've been here with her laughing at you as you make a complete and utter ass of yourself.

There you have it...you've become a running gag.

Once again, I must remind you that you are the only one who has the "All or nothing" mentality here. Your ego has become something of a red balloon that is in desperate need of popping. You've decided that you are being perfect, while in reality you're completely missing the point and making yourself look like a fool.

If you can't grasp the concept of "just friends", please do us all a favor and go away. Seriously.

While we're all quite amused by this recent display of lunacy and delusion, I think it really is better for everyone's psyche's for you to move on with your life, seeing as you aren't adult enough to just be friends and leave it at that.

Go take your "perfect" new self off to somewhere else...and when that relationship falls apart like the last one, you can blame it on whoever you like. It's all a cop out and all proof that you are still incapable of facing up to the responsibility of your own actions.

Yes, just keep pointing the finger at everyone else and blaming us for the fact that you're not getting your way.

Does wonders for your case...

Kryptonite...

2009-05-26T14:44:00.005-04:00

No one should ever have to make choices like this...
To have to weigh the cost of possibilities to the cost of reality.

I don't think there's ever really a right choice.

I want to extend a heartfelt Thank You to everyone who offered to help, even if it was only to offer support, but after speaking to the doctors, the amount that we would have had to raise, virtually overnight, would have been far too much to ask--especially with the knowledge that we might not have been able to pay it back.

So our home is a little emptier now for the loss of someone who was always there for us, unconditionally. Who comforted us when we were sick, made us laugh when we were sad, and made us feel loved when we were lonely.

My guardian angels now number one greater...

But you'll always be my Superman.

Stan "The Man" Underfoot

April 1, 1997 to May 26, 2009

FML...

2009-05-14T19:40:00.000-04:00

So...today was completely and utterly unproductive.

However, I learned that according to our wonderful government, I basically don't exist...or at least I can't DO anything.

Come July, like last year, some friends and I had planned for a get together at the Falls (the Canadian side). In June, new rules take effect for citizens crossing the border--you have to have a passport. Fine. This year is extra important though, as my sister, who I haven't seen in 15 years is coming to visit.

So I still have a couple months, I went to the post office, explained what I had for identification, they told me that was fine. Went back today--they lied. And even thought they mention an affidavit on the forms that can be signed by someone who DOES have all the proper identification in the event that the person applying doesn't, that apparently only applies to people who don't speak English (which...wouldn't they already have a passport?) and/or kids under the age of 18. I can't get a passport without a state ID, which I don't have. Okay...deep breath...we go to the DMV.

After waiting in line for 45 minutes, I'm told that my birth certificate (military issue, all the relevant information, parents thumb prints, my foot prints, state seal, etc, etc) wasn't valid because it was 1) a photocopy (which is all anyone in my family seems to have) and 2) issued by a military hospital and not by the state.

WHAT THE FUCK?

So...okay...go home, look for the papers online to order a state issued copy of my birth certificate. Guess what? I have to get it notarized.

Which requires a photo ID.

Which I can't get without a Birth Certificate.

Which can't be a photocopy.

So...the only other thing I have (which is also a photocopy) is a certificate of live birth from the state of North Carolina that happens to have the state seal on it, so...we're going to try again with that on Monday.

If that doesn't work, I get to wait on the postal system to hopefully move fast enough to get 3 pieces of identification that all take 6-8 weeks to fly by in just under 11.

I spoke to my sister last night and we were both discussing doing this today, both so excited. It's not that we won't have other things to do, but I really wanted to show her the GOOD side of the Falls...and I have no idea how this is going to effect the plans made with my friends.

I am most definitely having one of those moments where a good stiff drink would be nice...Not in my happy place.

Gonna go read something by the Dahli Lama and hopefully not have a meltdown before morning.

Hopefully you folks are having better luck at the moment than I am.

Homesick...

2009-04-24T22:39:00.002-04:00

I've had a few days in the last week that I've just been really down. I've had more than a few rants to post (which, knowing my friends is why this blog even gets read), but I refrained for the simple fact that between the rants have been a very deep need to be off and be ME.

It's been a long time since I've had the ability to breathe outside these walls. Which isn't to say that I'm not mostly a hermit by nature. I don't really care for people, places, things...I'm not crazy about going out in public. I've had a couple panic attacks just walking through Tops to do the grocery shopping - and that was without the kids. But I honestly think the last time I was out without the kids to do something FUN was last year when I went to the Falls with friends from TW. The more unfortunate thing is that it's looking like that might be the NEXT time I get to go out and do anything by myself and that's if we go this year. My beautiful sister is hoping to come visit over the summer, and I desperately hope she does, but at the same time there's a fear there...why, I don't really know. One of the people I love most in this world, and I'm scared. That sounds ridiculous to me. But it's true. Most of that is grounded in the fact that we haven't been face to face in 15 years and have nothing in common...or very little anyway. But then we never did. I think that's what made us work.

But, I digress.

My nights the last few weeks have been filled with bizarre dreams of people I haven't seen or spoken to in years. Maybe a few messages here and there online, but nothing substantial or meaningful. Some of them actually have me shaken and wanting to pick up the phone and call them just to confirm that we have nothing really to say to one another beyond the casual niceties we're already exchanging. And what confuses me more still is that the situations in my head are completely different than anything I would ever envision myself doing with these people...save one or two. "Compromising" positions turning into best friend road trips to go see opera...wtf? I've always been a very aware in my dreams. I run them more than they run me. So when I wake up wondering what the hell is going on and why in the world I would ever be in THAT situation with THIS person it's a little startling.

Maybe the whole thing is simply because I'm homesick and want to see some of them; Have a cup of coffee at Coram's, or the Waffle House, or go sit on the pier and just smell the salt water.

When I was there, I couldn't wait to leave. When I got here, I thought "I escaped. I finally escaped."

Now all I want to do is go home.

A different kind of prostitute...

2009-04-11T10:30:00.003-04:00

prostitute
N. - One who solicits, (usually for sex in exchange for money)
V. - The act or an instance of offering or devoting one's talent to an unworthy use or cause.

Solicit

Solicitation
N. - 1. The act of soliciting; earnest request; persistent asking; importunity.
v.tr.

1. To seek to obtain by persuasion, entreaty, or formal application
2. To petition persistently; importune
3. To entice or incite to evil or illegal action.
4. To approach or accost (a person) with an offer of sexual services.

v.intr.

1. To make solicitation or petition for something desired.
2. To approach or accost someone with an offer of sexual services in return for payment.

So I was woken up this morning (after being up last night watching movies til 4:30 AM) at the wee hour of 9, to find a couple Jehovah's Witnesses at my door.

Now, in the past, I've invited these folks in, debated with them, and sent them on their way scratching their heads. However, today I gave them a lot more than they bargained for; not because they knocked on my door so early, or because they come around here once a month, but because the child that they had preaching wasn't even a teenager yet.

I am a firm believer that kids don't understand, or have the capacity to understand, religion until they are older and have reached that stage of puberty where they start questioning everything and forming their own personalities and self images. Before that, they are little mini-me's, touting whatever their elders have told them to say and quoting passages from books that they may have read, but probably have tons of unanswered questions about. So, to me, having this 12 year old come to the door at 9 in the morning to "tell me all about Christ" had me raising an eyebrow.

I shooed my kids off (as their knocking also woke the hubby) and quite pointedly told the 60+ year old man who was with the kid that I was disgusted by the fact that they were using children to solicit their faith. "It's bad enough," I said, "that you feel that you need to disrupt people's lives in order to tout your blind philosophies, but to have a kid who even sounds scripted doing it for you is just disgusting." Then I turned to the boy and apologized for my attitude and ended with "Listen son. Take it from someone who has been there and actually STUDIED religion for a good many years. The best thing you could ever do for yourself is learn to think for yourself instead of letting these folks do it for you. Learn a little before you accept whatever they tell you as blind truth."

I probably gave the older guy a rather nasty look as I shut the door and locked it - loudly - but honestly I was so livid I was shaking at that point and think I composed myself rather well for that exchange. A less composed me would have been much louder and vicious in my accusations without the kids there...though I wouldn't have had reason then, so *shrug*

Don't get me wrong, I don't have issues with my kids going to church now and again. But they go and sit in the pews and listen to the music and get bored just like I did when I was little. Sunday school is about coloring and playing with toys. Even my oldest has gone a few times with his friends and come home with no concept of what was said other than that they hung out in the room off the church and made popscicle crosses (this when he was 12-ish). My kids watch Veggie Tales because it's funny, not because it's religious. They don't get the religious passages and the morals can easily be explained without religious example in words they can understand. They've been given the PROPER history of the Druids (as opposed to the one that's on the video for Sumo of the Opera) and honestly, they couldn't have cared less - we just explained it because the Veggie Tales version was ludicrous and insulting.

Anyway...I'm certainly not going to say that people shouldn't take their kids to church if they themselves are religious. I get that. I went until I was 13 or 14. But to honestly believe that a child UNDERSTANDS what the hell is going on or being explained to them is just ridiculous. About the time I started asking questions about the things I was being told in church, I was asked to leave it because I wouldn't accept "Because God Said So" as the be all/end all of every conversation.

And while I honestly hope that I didn't cause any trouble for the kid by speaking my piece this morning, I can only hope that he will find his own religion--whether it's the one he's with now, or not.

There's nothing worse than blind faith...except for maybe submitting to it blindly.

I love stupid people...content advisory

2009-04-09T16:34:00.003-04:00

I was just presented with the argument (well...less of an argument than I was flat out TOLD by this fella) that bisexuality automatically makes you promiscuous.

Now, those of you who have known me a while know that there are just certain subjects that you never get me started on, muchless try and tell me that X automatically equals Y. So yeah, needless to say this guy didn't see it coming.

I behaved myself (for about 5 minutes) and asked him why he thought that, and was given the explanation that "Well, if they like both, then they couldn't possibly be happy with one or the other."

When I asked how it was any different than a heterosexual settling down with just one person, or a homosexual doing the same, his response was that it was "all in the plumbing" and "it's impossible to satisfy a bisexual...unless you happen to maybe be a hermaphrodite".

So that had me rolling, and by that point I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And no, this guy didn't know that I happen to be a happily married, completely monogamous, bisexual woman ;)

I asked him, more than once, what his reasoning was for infidelity in heterosexual relationships, if it's only possible to be monogamous if you like only one sex or the other. He said very plainly that something like that had to do with the relationship and not with the sex. Of course, I have to laugh on that one and pointed out the numerous people who have used a poor sex life to justify their affairs even though they "still love their spouses". And by this point I was very close to boiling, and he, thinking that he wasn't going to get the argument that he did, wasn't far behind.

Basically, this all stemmed from an argument on gay marriage (oh yeah...) and how if it were to become legal that next bi-sexuals would be pushing for multiple marriages and polygamy would follow shortly after. He was awfully careful to point out that he had no issues with people being gay, but that this was an obvious progression and soon marriage law would be completely done away with or have so much red tape associated with it that no one would bother...

Yeah *cough*

Anyway, he went on to explain to the few of us who were in the thread that "obviously" there's more bisexual women than men and all those "bisexual whores" are looking to "have their cake and eat it too" (cheeky, eh?) because a guy can't give them what a woman can and vice versa.

Funny enough, I've had this argument with my husband before. He's always know I was bisexual and has said on numerous occasions that he wouldn't prevent me from having an affair with a woman because he isn't one and couldn't give me what a woman could.

So I gave this guy the same argument that I gave my husband.

"Do men have tongues?

Can women buy dildos? strap-on's even?

I would think any bisexual would be just as happy as a heterosexual with a lot of toys in their bedroom drawer."

Didn't take long before the rest of the forum was rolling and pointing out to the guy that I had him on that one. And only after that did I let him know that I was a bisexual and that when I got married it was "look but don't touch" - to which my husband is actually pretty happy to have a wife who will look right along with him ;)

He of course didn't believe me, even after I told him that we've been together for 11 years, and that the only thing close to infidelity that has happened here was on a completely heterosexual note *cough*. Then he conveniently had to log off...

I love it when people refuse to concede defeat and log off because they can't come up with a halfway decent argument. Reminds me of days back on Immortal when I talked to stupid people (one in particular anyway) all day long...

So when he comes back, he'll find a few messages for him as to whether he dated a bisexual who cheated on him, or if he was one and was using that as an excuse to cheat on his girlfriend ;)

Oh My GAWD!

2009-03-19T11:15:00.002-04:00

So I just finished reading this article about women having affairs to "save" their marriage.

What the fuck?

Seriously, what the hell are people thinking anymore?

You don't have an affair to SAVE anything. You have an affair to fix some personal inadequacy - you're not getting enough attention, you don't feel good about yourself, you don't get a piece whenever you want it, etc.

Who in their right mind, seriously, says to themself; "I'm going to go fuck around on my husband and all our problems will magically melt away," or "I love him, but he just doesn't do it for me, so I'll find someone who does."

And people wonder what the hell is wrong with all these kids who are overly promiscuous at a young age? Well here you have it. You've got internet sites that are made SPECIFICALLY FOR PEOPLE TO FIND SOMEONE TO CHEAT WITH!

This entire society advocates being a whore!

And before anyone says "well, you don't understand..." I do. I've been on both sides of the argument. I've been cheated on numerous times and - before I got married - I had cheated on the person I was dating. However, people in this world don't seem to take marriage very seriously anymore. I've been in positions where I didn't feel adequate and could very well have cheated on my husband, but if it came down to me being so unhappy that I needed to, why the hell would I stay married?

Honestly.

This whole "I love you, but..." BS is just that. Bullshit.

You people want to "save your marriage", you don't do it by boffing someone else's husband or wife. Get off your ass, go to your significant other and say "We need to work on this." If they're not interested in fixing anything, then you're on your own and either need to get counseling or a divorce.

I hope to god all these people are slapped with divorce settlements and formally charged - as infidelity is still illegal in many states and in the military.

Some great freakin' example they're setting for their kids and the kids of the other couple (if any) if they justify this bullshit with their own insecurities.

Grow the fuck up people. This isn't the kindergarten anymore. You don't go poke someone else because your friend is having a bad day.

25 life changing albums

2009-02-25T15:38:00.000-05:00

Les Rules:Think of 25 albums that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life or the way you looked at it. They sucked you in and took you over for days, weeks, months, years. These are the albums that you can use to identify time, places, people, emotions. These are the albums that no matter what they were thought of musically shaped your world. When you finish, tag 25 others, including me. Make sure you copy and paste this part so they know the drill. Get the idea now? Good. Tag, you're it!

Now lets see JUST how long this takes me. - The time is now 8:30 PM on Tuesday, Feb. 24, 2009. Results are in no particular order, to save my sanity...

Aha - Hunting High and Low: Most people who know me know how much I love this album, but what most of them don't know is just how many copies I've actually gone through! This was, and has been, one of my favorites since the day I bought it, and I've made just about everyone sick to death of Morten Harket because of it :p The song "Blue Sky" got me through many MANY a bad day...

Sisters of Mercy - Vision Thing: This album or Floodland I can pull out when I am in a foul mood and find myself absorbed in the music, forgetting whatever it was that set me off in the first place. I could probably loop side 2 and be happy for a week.

Queensryche - Rage for Order: This was one of those groups that I resisted liking for a very long time, then I picked this album up and was sold. I love concept albums (though this isn't really one) and I'm a huge HUGE sucker for a dual melody and really powerful lyrics. The songs on this tape honestly took me out of a very dark place in my life and have brought me out of several dark places since.

Electric Angels - self titled: (and the collective just went... "who?").. This has got to be the ultimate break-up album. But that's not why I like it...maybe. It didn't get me through any break-ups, but sortof forced me to remember them later in life and get past the anger and lingering B.S. that had plagued me.

David Bowie - Never let Me Down: I love David Bowie...This wasn't the first album of his that I owned, but it was by far the one that made me think most. It also saved me from dealing with my grandmother more times than I can count...

Hedwig and the Angry Inch - Soundtrack: If you've never seen the movie, that's fine...but the soundtrack sums it up. I loved this for more reasons than just the fact that the music was excellent. The message in the songs, especially The Origins of Love, are powerful and moving...and John Cameron Mitchel just pulls of Hedwig fantastically to boot...

Tori Amos - Boys for Pele: I sang Hello Mr. Zebra when I gave birth to my younger sons...nuff said. (and yes, they did look at me like I'd lost my mind).

Warlock - Triumph and Agony: I started listening to Warlock when I was probably 12 or 13 and have followed them ever since. This was a point in my life where I changed dramatically from what everyone else wanted me to be and what I wanted myself to be. I still listen to this album somewhat regularly to get me through those rough patches where I need to be reminded that I'm nobody's whipping...girl...

AFI - December Underground: I don't listen to a lot of newer music, but I've actually followed AFI since before they were called AFI :p If I had to pick just one of their albums though, it would have to be this one for power, meaning, and something that really speaks to me when I need it...

The B-52's - Songs for a Future Generation: This is like a soundtrack for my best friend and I. We make silly references to the songs on this album (and a few others by the B's that aren't on this one) while we're on the phone. It's like a secret language for us that makes the males wonder what the heck we're plotting :) I've also been known to hum Mo-Dean in my sleep >.>

Savatage - Streets: A Rock Opera: Savatage is another one that I've followed for a long time, and who turned my following of them into a blatant lusting after Trans-Siberian Orchestra. <3 This, of all their work, has to be my favorite because of the message. I think If I Go Away must be one of the most powerful songs I've ever heard.

What's that? 11....at 11:11 PM...that's creepy as hell...I think on that note, I'll call it a night :p
Someone remind me to do this tomorrow, plz...

---

Okay...day 2. It's now 8:39 AM :p

Crystal Gayle - Classic Crystal: This was probably the first album I technically owned. When I was little, I was obsessed with her...probably more her hair. My great gran wanted me to have hair like her, I think...she religiously cut it on the full moon and brushed it 100 times every night. I had pretty long hair when I was a kid. I also loved to sing, and dance, and had all the songs on this album memorized. I'd put on little shows in the livingroom, standing on the hearth of the fireplace with a plastic microphone...and I still know all the words to Don't it Make My Brown Eyes Blue. It amazed me to learn that Crystal's not only still putting out albums, but touring...It's not a name you hear anymore really. Where, when I was a kid she was household. I still think she's just beautiful, too.

Fates Warning - No Exit: Side 2 of this album is a concept piece composed of seven pieces called The Ivory Gate of Dreams. I've always found this to be a powerful piece that speaks to you on multiple levels, for multiple reasons.

Fleetwood Mac - Greatest Hits: I had to pick this one or I'd have put more than one album on here :p I love Fleetwood Mac, and their Greatest Hits album has all the songs that means something to me along the way. I think Don't Stop should be a freakin' anthem for anyone who's ever been through hard times - and I thought that long before this last election :p And TUSK...god, this song has pulled me out of a funk so many times I can't even count. Of the lot though, Gypsy is my favorite, for multiple reasons, most of which are only known by a handful of choice people...and I like it that way.

Johnny Cash - American IV: The Man Comes Around: I really could have put any of several Johnny Cash albums on here, but this one was the last to truly grip me for the sole reason that it contains his cover of Hurt. Anyone who followed Johnny Cash and knew about his past and problems could hear so much more in this song when he sang it than when Reznor did. I'd always liked the song, but Cash made you feel it, made you understand it. Someone told me that he covered it, and I didn't believe it. I was given the link to the release of the video and watched it in sheer awe - and cried - and I'm crying now because of it. To have a master take a song from our generation and make it something completely different without really changing it at all...I don't know...words just can't really express it, I guess.

Okay...it's 10 AM...must shower. 10 to go...

----

back at 11...

Metallica - Ride the Lightning: Metallica was big in the 80's when I was a kid, and this was probably the first album by them that I had and listened to thoroughly. I think it influenced a lot more people than would give it credit, as Master of Puppets really was a bigger album for them, but Fade to Black and For Whom the Bell Tolls are songs that I don't think many people can say didn't effect them somehow.

Megadeth - So Far, So Good...So What?: Another one where a different album got more press, but this one was probably my favorite of theirs for a long time. In My Darkest Hour was one of those songs that I listened to constantly, and this album brought Anarchy in the UK to the states and did it well. Of course, I'm looking at the date going "1988...oh god, I'm old..." but then I'm also humming it in my head...

Ratt - Reach for the Sky: Another one from 1988...that must have been a hell of a year for me! 0.o (2:00 Edit: I was listening to this in the car while we were out, because my husband has been questioning me as to my responses here. When we got to Bottom Line, I went "awwwww, $#it..." and was reminded of certain events in 1990 that this song stood out for. It was a bad year for a lot of reasons, but now I can remember the good stuff...).

11:30...off to the damned store...*maybe* I'll finish this today..........

----

Okay...2:00 PM...where the hell am I? 18...

Howard Jones - Best of...: I have to go with this one, because there are several songs by Howard that mean a lot of me. I still make mix tapes (well, CDs now) for my best friend a few times a year, and there's always at least one Howard Jones song that I put in when I know she's been having a hard time. I've played What is love several times for myself over the years, and Life in One Day has become a favorite in this house for not just myself, but my kids as well.

Second Person - The Elements: Probably the most recent addition to my "drive everyone crazy with the looped CD" list, I was introduced to this album at a very VERY bad time toward the end of last year. It was like the story of my life in brief. Myself, my husband, my relationships...5 little songs with a hell of a lot of meaning.

Skid Row - self titled: Another one that's going to make people groan ;) But when we were kids, I think this album influenced a lot of people in my clique (was I in a clique? hmm...). Not so much Youth Gone Wild (I hate that song), but 18 and Life and I remember you were really powerful and still being back a lot of feelings to this day when I hear them.

Bahaus - 1979 - 1983: I believe I'm on my 4th copy of this one. There's something about it that I've never really been able to put my finger on, but it always managed to produce something from me that I wasn't able to deal with or focus on before I listened to it. I can tune out while it's on unlike I can with any other album and honestly just allow myself to let go. It's a little weird, to be honest.

The Eurythmics - Greatest Hits: Annie Lennox has got to be one of those women who some people just stare at in awe...seriously. There is something about her voice that sucks you in and lets you feel everything that she's trying to convey in a song. I had to go with the GH on this one for the fact that it has both Sweet Dreams and Here Comes the Rain Again, which are two songs that never fail to touch me.

23.....GAH!

Warrior Soul - Last Decade Dead Century: I'm not a fan anymore, but at the time, this album was one that stood out. It wasn't so much a concept album, but the songs on it did blend together when you listened to the themes. There was a little taste of oppression, and a little depression. There was talk of rebellion and fear. But the last two songs on the disc: Lullaby and In Conclusion were two of the most fantastic pieces that I had ever heard at that time. I remember singing Lullaby to my oldest when he was scared, and In Conclusion is one that I will read over the lyrics for in an effort to give me hope when I'm really down about things in the world.

-- So...25...

Now we're at an impasse...

I could easily put up a Black Sabbath GH, for the fact that my best friend and I were very fond of them in our mid-teens. Faeries Wear Boots and Sweet Leaf were two songs that we sang quite often, and War Pigs became a song that is permanently burned into my memory (which I lovingly refer to as "war piglets" now and continually break into every time I hear Mr. Brownstone - Thank you, sir... You know who you are).

I could probably replace one or two of the above with The Rolling Stones (Rewind) and/or Aerosmith (Toys in the Attic) for their influence over things that I've listened to since I was a kid, and some of the things I've introduced my children to musically since they were born.

In some ways I wish this were a song list and not an album list, as that would have been a lot easier to compile since there are quite a few songs that mean a great deal to me for various reasons, but I couldn't put the whole album down because there really wasn't much else that moved me on it...NIN - Downward Spiral (Hurt & I do not want this), Dangerous Toys - Hellacious Acres (Best of Friends), Extreme (Kid Ego - long story there - and Smoke Signals).

So it's not so much that I had trouble coming up with 25 as it was choosing 25 that could make the list with some reasoning behind them.

I'm still a musical throw-back to the 80's for the most part and listen to a good lot of this music on a regular basis, but only certain ones do I look for for a given reason...and only certain ones do I still get the same feeling from when I hear them, no matter what's going on at the time...

Maybe I'll revisit this again at a later date and see if the answers come more easily...We shall see...

End time: 3:20 PM, Feb 25th.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

2009-02-18T18:14:00.002-05:00

So now that I spent last week being cathartic and getting past a ton of crap that had been pent up for years, I'm back to dealing with crap at home.

For those of you who don't know, my middle son has been having issues in school with violent outburst. While he has them at home they're nowhere near as bad, nor do they last as long, at school I think they're just not at all equipped for it.

He's been in therapy for a couple months now and has had some blood tests done. Yesterday they gave him a prescription for Focalin. I looked it up online and read the pamphlet and I'm a little concerned about how it's going to affect him, but so far he's not jumping around the house as much as he used to. It's certainly not done anything for his mouth though (as he talks constantly). I asked his therapist about my problems with it this morning, and she said she totally understood. I'm thrilled that she's not as clueless as his teachers and counselors at school. She's awesome. We decided to watch him for the week and see how it goes since we see her on Tuesday and the doctor who prescribed him the meds is only at that office on Tuesday, so...it works out. We were supposed to wait a month, but we'll see. I'm fairly certain that it needs to get into his system for more than a day to have any effect, otherwise I would have taken him off it last night :p

Was a bad night.

So now it's one more thing to worry about. I'm hoping that this will be more of a help in the long run than a problem though. Most of the day was manageable so it's just the evenings (which have always been a problem) that I have to worry about--and the fact that he doesn't get along with his little brother (who is only hyper and uncontrollable when he's around).

I'm exhausted. My husband seems to be lapsing back into his night-owl routine and leaving me on my own more and more. My stress levels are through the roof and no one here seems to care. Story of my life actually.

One of these days I'm going to put up my daily notes like I keep meaning to. People keep asking me why I don't have any time to myself and I have to say "Gee...I wonder...maybe it's cause I'm not allowed to have a life". :p

I'll probably go to bed early this evening in hopes of catching up on the sleep I don't get the rest of the week. My littlest is back to school tomorrow (stupid half-week at the wrong end...) so everything we do has to be done in record time - which means nothing will be done...again...

Maybe I should focus March on getting my license back so I don't have to worry about my husband getting up before time to leave for work...of course then I'm not sure I'll need him for much of anything anymore which would cause it's own problems.

Blah...

Dear Dumbass...

2009-02-13T14:52:00.002-05:00

I am writing this in order to spare a dear friend and member of my family from having to deal with your worthless ass again.

Other than giving her advice when asked, I have kept my mouth shut for the last, what? Two and a half-three years? Today, I was given permission to tear into your sorry ass. I just chose this medium so that I wouldn't have to listen to your skewed responses and ass-backwards interpretation of how things are and were.

Six months ago, I had been listening to one of my best friends almost constantly crying because of the bullshit you were putting her through. She had to worry about who she spoke to, what she said, where she went, who she rented an apartment to, and just about every other goddamn thing in her life. She was afraid that if she didn't do what you wanted, you'd flip out, and while she said there was no physical abuse, the mental and emotional abuse was enough. From the very beginning, you tried to tell her that she had problems that she needed to change, but you couldn't do a goddamn thing to change for yet. You constantly told her how you were fine and she needed to get over her hang-ups.

Basically you were the biggest fucking hypocrite on the face of the planet.

When she finally found the strength to get rid of you, you miraculously flipped some switch that made you perfect...for like two weeks...before going right back to the same bullshit as before. And funny thing was, you would always, ALWAYS turn it around on her...just like you're doing now that she has told you to leave her alone - AGAIN.

I find it highly amusing that every time you contact her, you say you're not going to do it again unless she contacts you. And when she doesn't, you find some lameass reason to contact her again, and again, and AGAIN. It's stalking, dumbass. It's HARASSMENT! And you're goddamn lucky that she never took out a restraining order on you for it.

Here's a hint for next time - No response generally means "Go away". Not "keep mailing me until I answer you".

COUNTLESS times over the years she told you what she wanted from you and needed from you and each and every time you came back with how you "shouldn't need to" do those things for her. And now that she left you, you're willing to do all those things? For what? a week? a month? a year? How long until you decide that it's been long enough and you don't have to do the things that show her she matters anymore? How long will it be before you're trying to lay another goddamn guilt trip on her to get her to do what you want?

Since you started mailing her a week and a half ago, that's all you've done is try to guilt her into taking you back. You used her kindness against her and tried to get her to come see your daughter, her pet and your illness to try and get her to do what you wanted. You said you wanted to do things on HER terms, but told her where to go and what to do so she could meet you. How the FUCK is that HER terms? You said from day one that you weren't going to contact her again unless she contacted you, and then spammed her for over a week with your melodramatic, self-fulfilling crap. And SOMEHOW managed to decide along the way that she had actually been planning on going along with it, even though she had never given you any indication whatsoever that she planned to.

In the last six months - without you - I have seen her get herself back. You know...the "strong, independent woman" that YOU bitched that she had lost sight of when she was dating you. Yeah, that one. She's making herself happy instead of catering to someone who wants her to bend over backwards to do what he wants all the damned time but couldn't be bothered to do shit for her and always had an excuse. She's let the people she wants to be her roommates move in without having to worry about how you'll react to them. She's talking to who she wants and doing what she wants at night without having to drive her ass out of the way to sit with you while you ignore her or pressure her into things she doesn't want.

She's happy again.

She gave you a second chance and you fucked up.

She wanted to be friends and YOU were the one who told her it was all or nothing.

She tried to start over again on HER terms and you pushed and pushed and tried to tell her how she felt and what she was doing.

Just like you're doing now.

And yet you've changed?

Somehow I fucking doubt it...cause I haven't seen one thing different so far.

Get a clue. Get a life. Stop trying to drop this "I'll be single for the rest of my life" bullshit on her to try and make her feel guilty. She's got nothing to feel guilty about. NOT A GODDAMN THING!

YOU screwed up, again and again and again. YOU lost out, not her.

And I for one am damned happy that she has her freedom and her life back.

The ones you can't forget....

2009-02-10T10:53:00.002-05:00

So recently I've been thinking a lot about people from my past. I'm sure it all stems from the events of the last few months of 2008, but never know with me...

There have been a few people in particular that I've never really been able to get out of my head, for various reasons, and over the last week especially they've been creeping into my thoughts (and dreams, yay) more and more.

So why am I posting this? Who the hell knows. Maybe to get it off my chest. Maybe in hopes that one or all of them will see it. I figured I should just get it out of my head, somehow...

Anyway, these people seem to cover the spectrum. There are those who I miss for reasons I can't really explain. There's the one I miss despite knowing exactly why I shouldn't. There are the ones who I thought I would, but really don't. And then there's the one I've always missed...for some inexplicable reason.

Some of them I have the ability to contact, but don't want to. Others I wouldn't even know where to begin. And others I still hear from and either don't much care, or am glad that there's some small ability to connect.

So getting back to those few particular people, I have to say that It's surprising how I feel. All three had some great influence in my life. They all taught me things that they probably don't even realize and in some way I'm grateful to them for that. Of course not many GOOD lessons come without a share of pain. Two of these folks burned me...the other one I have to blame (my own) teenage stupidity - and bipolar hormonal idiocy.

I guess I have to start with the one who burned me first, as he probably did the biggest number on me. It doesn't surprise me that I think of him so much as it does how often. It would sound wrong of me to say he was a "charity case", but then, I'm a sucker, and he kinda was. I always found myself among the drunks and drug addicts in school, even though I wasn't one myself and had most of them making sure I didn't become one. This was one of those people who I thought I could save. He was different around me...and for a while, he cleaned up, he was beautiful and intelligent and worked hard. And then he went back to old habits and I found out later that he had been doing things right under my nose. When he packed up and moved out with no warning, that was enough of a shock, but to find out later that he was talking shit about me to make me out to be the bad guy...well, that sorta stomped my heartstrings. To think that I still care about the bastard makes me scratch my head...but then maybe I'm thinking that there's still hope, and that at some point he woke up and realized how hard I had tried...

Wishful thinking probably, but...hey...I can wish :p

#2...is one that I find amusing actually. I don't miss this person as much as I thought I would at one time many years ago. I guess I got sick of feeling like a passtime--someone that was available to talk to when no one else was. I got sick of hearing about how much money they were flaunting on frivolous shit or how far they had gotten in their self-righteous pursuit of something completely foreign to me. The something that I saw as the undoing of the very individual that I had called "family" in the first place. I got sick of the petty high school bullshit, to be honest. The phone works both ways, but it seemed I was always the one picking it up first. Idle online chitchat was fine, but finding out later that I was being made fun of behind my back...yeah, I didn't need that shit. I've never been one to surround myself with 'Yes men', nor do I need anyone else to make me feel important or justified...and I wasn't about to be one of those people to someone else whose ego was so fragile that they needed it...

So no...I don't miss them as much as I thought I would...and if I learned anything from it, it's that I don't need anymore egocentric people in my life.

And #3...yeah, this one came out of left field. Not that I didn't expect to miss him, just that I didn't think it would be quite so much. More so, the fact that we seem to have quite a bit in common after so long. He'll go down in history as my one great cluster-fuck. The "woulda-shoulda-coulda"...and also as the one who probably taught me more by NOT being there than he could have otherwise. But thinking on him, even rarely always made me smile, and still does. Finding random things online over the years, I'd find myself grinning like an idiot and leaving those around me to wonder why. I never did bother to explain myself, but I remember the silliest things about him - some good, some bad. But even the bad things make me smile (cause I'm a nutcase...). I'm amazed still that he doesn't hate me...and honestly, if I had to think on one regret, it would be my own actions. I never said "I'm sorry for being a stupid, teenage bitch". Though hopefully he knows...because I still absolutely adore him.

So yeah...I've babbled long enough, and gotten most of what's in my head out of it. Hopefully this will keep the dreams of people showing up at my mother's house or me showing up at theirs just to take them to lunch at bey (because, you know...I travel, or drive or any of the things I did in my dream to get to them...).

Sometimes reevaluating people is good for your conscience...better for your soul. If nothing else, it at least clears your head <3

Poser Product Review - Comparison Shopping

2009-01-19T14:03:00.009-05:00

I don't usually do these, as I generally don't like to aggravate the folks in the Poser community who are my friends and peers, but I definitely have never had a problem sharing my opinions of the products I've bought and used. Today however, I felt compelled to share a comparison of two product sets that I recently purchased.

Both of these sets are beautifully textured and certainly a must for those who create fantasy renderings, however when compared I have to sit back and wonder if the price tags were switched.

First we have a positively fantastic set from Mapps and Richardphotos, The Apothecary or Wizards Shoppe. I've purchased several of Mapps pieces and have loved his products since I began working in 3D several years ago. He's offered several full sized sets of props for free (available on his website or through the Free Stuff on Renderosity)that just never cease to astound me.

The Apothecary Shoppe was no exception. Each piece is beautifully textured and individually selectable as a prop so that you can move things about the scene even when it is loaded with a larger grouping, as seen here:

The table itself preloads with all of the items shown, but each individual piece is selectable (as seen with the tin selected). This goes for the shelves, tables and beautiful chests of drawers (each of which have drawers that open individually!!).

Because each of the items is selectable, you can also delete them from the preloaded scenes to give you added flexibility as opposed to having the entire preload disappear (though you can elect to delete the entire thing by deleting the parented object).

In addition to all these, you also have an enormous props folder containing all of the individual pieces and then some.

You'll find everything in here that you'll find in the preloads with different texture options to allow you to take the empty shelves, tables and drawers and fill them yourself.

As if all this didn't make this set worth purchasing, the price - $10 - makes it practically a steal! I would easily pay twice that for the flexibility of this set as it allows for so many options that it can easily be used in almost any indoor scene.

Absolutely a 5 Star rating.

In comparison to Mapps' fantastic set is an absolutely beautiful product called The Wizard's Place from LukeA, who seems relatively new to the marketplace.

I will say first off that this set caught my eye immediately because of the textures and images provided on the product page. It was pricey though - $30 ($29.95) - which always has me leary of purchase when I look at other sets like Mapps.

This was one of those cases where I was unfortunately right, and thus prompted to write this review.

Again, I'll say that the set itself is beautiful, and worth the cost due to the texturing and props available. I'd have to say that it is comparable to the items offered by DM Productions* in terms of quality and usage, but the price is still a little too high for my taste.

Looking at the preview, you can see the shelves laden with all these fantastic things; skulls, bottles, candles, books; and I was excited thinking that, like Mapps set, these things would be selectable and I would be able to move them about. I was disappointed. All of the shelves preload as a single, textured prop. This greatly limits the flexibility of the purchase. And while the set does offer a fantastic selection of book props and stacks to load individually as well as some bowls, braziers, a telescope and planetarium, it doesn't come close to the functionality of Mapps set at more then twice the cost! This is a great set for large scenes as the room loads conveniently in pieces and renders quickly without bogging down the system, but there really isn't much else you can do with the set other than use it together since the bookcase walls are curved to fit with the outer walls and floor instead of flat, individual shelves that could be placed in another setting.

Again, this is a gorgeous set, but when compared with Mapps Apothecary set, I can't see justifying the price when you can purchase the Apothecary for far less and other sets which would provide books of comparative usage while probably still coming in under the $30 price tag.

I'd give it 4 Stars because of the quality, but that last start would take a lot of work to get to.

In closing:

My honest opinion would be to save The Wizard's Place for a sale or coupon when you can pick it up for less, but most definitely pick up Mapps' Apothecary Shoppe in the meantime. Both are great sets, but the flexibility available in Mapps' set makes it worth a lot more than the $10 price.

I hope this helped some people who might have been looking at these products. I wish I had been given a little more information before I spent my money ;)

Happy Rendering, folks!

* DM Productions - Danie and Marforno

NOW they're questioning 'abstinence only' programs???

2008-12-29T09:10:00.003-05:00

I just finished reading this article about the failure of "Virginity Pledgers" to follow through until marriage and how it is NOW affecting the way that researchers view abstinence only programs and their effectiveness.

You have GOT to be kidding me.

These programs started springing up when I was in my later years of high school. Since then I have watched and listened to the rising rates of teen pregnancy and underage sex. I've had our family doctors tell us that he was treating 12-year-olds who were pregnant and issuing birth control to girls as young as 10. I've listened in horror as mothers have told me about their little girls being approached by boys as young as 7!

Any idiot knows that if you make something forbidden to a child without explaining WHY it only becomes more desirable. They've taken sex ed out of schools because it "teaches promiscuity"? WTF is that? God forbid our children should learn about their bodies and how they work and that puberty = hormones and hormones = desire. I've heard the argument that parents should be teaching their kids things like that and it shouldn't be up to the schools...well, I agree on that point, but clearly the parents aren't doing their job if we have a nation where 12 and 13-year-olds are having babies!

The problem with Abstinence Only programs is that they're not educational. Most aren't even all that informational! A good many of them are inaccurate with the information they do provide and don't actually do anything to help kids change the way they view things. These programs actually RESTRICT the information allowed to be given out. $176 million per year are spent on these programs, and yet they are being proven time and again to be ineffective and have actually brought about a rise in teen promiscuity because of the inaccuracy of their information and lack of actual educational value. These programs blur the lines between religion and science. They reinforce stereotypes and give false information about venereal diseases.

There's more proof that Bush was doing good things with your tax dollars, folks!

How about putting that money back into actually EDUCATING our children properly about their bodies and the reality of teen sex, hmm? How about telling them that "protection" is called that for a reason, and not just to protect against pregnancy, but also against disease. How about telling them the TRUTH instead of fuzzing the lines between what you want them to know and what is real? How about we stop treating kids like they're stupid and give them a little bit of credit?

Hopefully now that their experiment with lying to our kids has failed, they'll go back to educating them properly instead of trying to fill their heads with bullshit.

Believe me, they'll hear plenty of that in their lives. Keep it out of the Educational System.

Science Daily
Washington Post
Paper from House of Representatives - Content of Abstinence only Programs Report

snicker

2008-12-18T10:21:00.003-05:00

No updates for the last few posts...we'll just say that I'm wearing a rather large grin and enjoying the fact that my husband really doesn't care. All the muck and bother that happened over the last two weeks of September and into October is past us and in the last few days I think we've done what we can to really move on this time ;)

So, that said, we're focusing on the holidays and the kids and the coming of something we're particularly happy about come January. :D

We've been conspiring against our kids for a while now, and have not only figured out and secured what we're doing, we've also found the perfect cover to throw them off so they'll never suspect a thing! *MWAHAHA*. So having sat down with our finances and figuring out what goes where, we're pretty well set until sometime after the taxes roll through in February. We've also been approved for a grant to fix our house, so come March/April we'll be getting siding, windows/doors and hopefully a new porch and/or bathroom! :D

Things are good right now *knocks furiously on her wooden desk organizer*.

Been a long time since I've been able to say that and actually mean it :)

OH MY GOD!!

2008-12-14T17:40:00.008-05:00

Okay, so I *thought* we were moving on...

Or rather, my husband has moved on, I HAD moved on...but apparently the *problem* has not.

Now...I'm sorry, but I can take a hint.

If someone is telling me repeatedly that they were having trouble in their marriage and I was involved, then deleted the accounts on which I used to speak to them, changed their phone number, and stopped contacting me...I'd assume that they no longer wanted to be in touch.

I think any reasonable individual would ascertain that, yes?

Well, apparently the cause of my household drama can't grasp the concept.

In the last week, we've had her look up our HOME phone number, which she was never given, contact my husband on another account and now she is emailing him.

He, of course, is brushing it off, deleting things and all "Well, if I don't talk to her she'll eventually go away. Don't sweat it".

I'm sorry...but that was the original strategy and she obviously hasn't gone away, eh?

I swear, I want the phone to ring again so I can tell her *exactly* why he's "disappeared"...and that perhaps if she put half as much energy into communicating with her own husband as she has spent contacting mine, her own marriage would be a little more freakin' solid, eh? Ya know...god forbid she should get her attention from the man SHE married instead of the one I did!

Moving on...

2008-11-17T21:49:00.002-05:00

So for those few that actually read this, you've probably figured that that last epic rant had a little something to do with things going on here at home.

You'd be right :p

So after weeks of ridiculous bullshit, and long discussions into the wee hours of the morning, things are back to...well no, I can't say back to, as they're better than normal.

So after a rather large leap of faith on my part and a rather large show of it on the part of the hubby, we're moving on...and I don't feel like I have to kill anyone anymore :p Well...maybe a little...but not as much as I did.

Now we can finally deal with all the other bullshit, LOL! The important stuff that's been making both of us stressed and tired, without having to worry about 3 AM phone calls and IM's keeping him up til the middle of the night or a constant "where are you?" "I miss you?" and all that other bullshit...

no...I'm not bitter. Much.

Sometimes I just wish that people could have a little fucking respect for OTHER PEOPLE'S marriages, yaknow...

So am I venting? Sure. Why not...that's what this is for, eh? And I'm not doing it in such a cryptic fashion as usual, hmm...Perhaps because I don't really give a rat who sees it.

cause, gee...when some other woman is sending your hubby porn and you're NOT okay with it, what are you supposed to do, hmm? sit there and take it?

yeah...

sure...

but if I was more of a bitch, I might start chatting up her hubby and telling my husband it was "meaningless chat". Then send him a bunch of pornos...

hmm...

but I'm not a bitch ;)

I'm just glad it's over.

Of Cam-whores and the idiots who worship them...

2008-10-07T20:36:00.004-04:00

So these last few weeks in between watching the electoral debates and dealing with personal crap, I've found a reason to rekindle my loathing of Webcam-Whores.

Now being a member of an enormous community like deviantART, I've come across several of them in my time. You know, the ones who will put on their skimpiest attire and roll around on the bed, the floor, the desk--wherever their cam will take them--and do what can only be classified as "clothed porn" for their webcam, and then proceed to post all 247 images into their myspace, photobucket, imageshack, flickr or (unfotunately) deviant account and wait for all the comments to come in calling them "sexy", "hot", "tasty" "delicious"...whatever.

I'm sorry, but there is nothing blatantly artistic about letting your webcam record on a timer while you pose for it with no rhyme or reason but to make an amateur attempt at porn for the sole reason of boosting your apparently non-existent self-esteem. What's worse is when they locate a trendy, gothy little corset that pushes their A cups up to their chin in order to make them look like they had implants and then make sure that they aim their camera directly down their cleavage at least three dozen times.

Worse still are the males (and some females) who continue to feed such egos and give them exactly the attention they're looking for. Most of these are juveniles, the rest just seem to have a juvenile mentality and either run with their "Poor Me", Emo bullshit trips until someone takes pity on their poor defenseless selves who have gone through multiple "perfect" relationships in a seemingly short amount of time only to find themselves in a shallow, meaningless relationship that takes them back into their pathetic little world to find another shallow relationship where someone will pay attention to them because of their slutty nature.

Sad thing is that most of these people aren't actually sluts...they just act like them to get attention. They put themselves online with their provocative images and filthy language to attract attention and invariably find just the WRONG kind. Even more sad is when they find a fellow who actually wants to get to know them but, being on the internet, can't actually DO anything, and they attach themselves to these guys and make THEIR lives a living hell.

But of course, these attention whores rarely care what they're doing to the lives of those around them. They need to be needed and the center of attention, so they go about their business with their entourage of drooling fan-boys in tow waiting for the next set of half-dressed web-cam pics, and wonder why exactly their lives never get better. Or why they can't ever find a "good guy". Or why they can't find anyone to listen, or take them seriously...

Gee...I wonder.

I think people like this need to get the hell out of their bedrooms and away from the computer and, you know, maybe find someone to talk to that lives in the REAL WORLD and not look for the world-wide-web of perverts to show them some love. Or maybe stop naming their accounts such things as "Come and get it" or "You Know You Want a Me". maybe if they stop acting like such sluts they'd actually locate someone who treated them with a modicum of respect?

I don't know...maybe it's just me who thinks like that?

Maybe I have a little more respect for myself and the people I talk to than to put them through my emotional circus maybe these girls don't see the trend of - "Hey! Look at me! Now tell me I'm pretty so I can feel better about being dumped again!"

Sad thing is, I know if I posted a picture of my cleavage on the net, that would get more attention in a day than most of the work I've done in the last year.

But there's nothing wrong with society nowadays, folks!

Everything's just peachy!

And on that note - do you know what your wife, girlfriend or daughter is doing with that webcam?

I'd have a look if I were you...

The most offensive thing I've heard from a Republican yet...

2008-09-03T21:45:00.002-04:00

So I'm watching the RNC and listening to Huckabee and he has been going on and on about how Democrats want handouts and want the government to do more to give us more.

I can't even begin to say how absolutely offensive that is.

I know a many democrats who work both in the private sector and who are in the military who in the last 8 years have lost their jobs because of outsourcing, watched gas prices skyrocket because of an unjust war, and watched their houses fall into foreclosure because the market fell. I know a lot of democrats who are having trouble feeding their families - NOT because they don't work, but because they can't find a job in an economy where more and more people are being laid off as the companies go under.

This is the result of a REPUBLICAN government, not a democratic one.

I've heard a lot of crap about it being the fault of a Democratic Congress and that's why nothing got passed...but most of what didn't get passed didn't pass because of BUSH! and his continual vetos, not because they didn't pass through the House and Senate.

Republican's have been doing a lot of bragging about straight talk, but then they sweep things under the carpet and hide things from the press, and even right now they are name dropping (or rather "date dropping") and appealing to the CEO's of America by discussing money management (in a country where the CEO's nest egg comes before the worker's pensions). There's nothing straight about hidden meanings or pot shots.

And, while I understand that there are a lot of Christians in the Republican Party...can we please remember that it is CONSTITUTIONAL that there be a separation between Church and State. Yet, they are praying at the convention, and claiming that God brought this war, and that "Republican's aren't afraid to call evil by name"...even though they're afraid to allow freedom of the press and freedom of speech right outside the convention doors.

These people want a Church State. They want a Police State.

They want to remove more freedoms than they already have from the people of America (Freedom of Religion, Freedom of Speech, the freedom to do what YOU choose to your own body and with whom you choose).

They've proven time and again that they are corrupt.
I do think these people need to look up some passages on False Prophets...
Maybe they'll learn something.

Gotta love it...

2008-08-31T12:25:00.005-04:00

Well, I *had* intended to write something non-political, but considering the things I've seen and heard in the last few days, I know I'm not going to get through this without ranting about it, so...

As I asked a dear friend of mine yesterday: Is McCain actually TRYING to lose, or is he just hoping that American's are incredibly stupid?

I mean seriously.

What were his main attacks on Obama? Inexperience and age. And now he chooses a VP candidate who is both younger AND less experienced than Obama so that he can try to woo women voters with the Anti-Hillary?

Here's the scoop for those who don't know:

Sarah Palin was elected Alaska's governor a little over a year and a half ago. Her previous office was mayor of Wasilla, a small town outside Anchorage. Sarah Palin has no foreign policy experience. [link]

Sarah Palin is strongly anti-choice, opposing abortion even in the case of rape or incest. [link]

Palin supported right-wing extremist Pat Buchanan for president in 2000. [link]

Palin thinks creationism should be taught in public schools, ignoring Seperation of Church and State. [link]

Palin does not think humans are responsible for climate change and Global Warming, thus ignoring the science behind it. [link]

She is also solidly in line with John McCain's "Big Oil first" energy policy and pushed hard for more oil drilling saying that renewables won't be ready for years. [link], [link]

Palin has also sued the Bush administration for listing polar bears as an endangered species as she was worried it would interfere with more oil drilling in Alaska. [link]

McCain met Sarah Palin only once at a meeting. They spoke a second time, last Sunday, when he called her about being vice-president. Then he offered her the position. [link]

Gee...how very unqualified for Vice President. And how very Qualified to be a poster child for the Right-Wing Extremists.

Obviously, McCain is attempting to woo the women voters by putting another woman in place, but clearly she is NOT Hillary Clinton and is nothing more than another Bush activist with an interest in oil companies and big business.

I'm sure that's what this country needs...More of the same failed politics and Policy of the past 8 years to drive this country deeper into a recession and more people into debt and poverty.

See more Adam "Ghost Panther" McKay videos at Funny or Die

Obama's speech

2008-08-29T10:05:00.004-04:00

I won't reiterate what I wrote yesterday, as it would be more of the same, but I think that last night's speech by Obama was testament to the fact that he is exactly what this country needs. We were given a reminder that the past Democratic Presidents have not only been good for this country, but have been strong when it came to dealing with foreign policy and wartime efforts.

For those who didn't hear his speech, you can read the full transcript HERE or watch the video HERE. Or, if you have missed the convention entirely, please take some time to watch all the fantastic speeches that were given and LEARN!! about the similarities between Obama's history in the legislature and his life's work to that of our past GREAT presidents such as Lincoln, Roosevelt, Kennedy and Clinton. Everything can be found at the Democratic Convention website.

I've realized over the past few days that in the past elections since I've been able to vote, I haven't actually liked any of the candidates. I genuinely like this one. And he has painted a very clear picture of McCain for me. I find it especially powerful to hear someone using McCain's own words against him. Anyone who knows me knows that I am heartily sickened by hypocrisy, and the most profound kind of hypocrisy is when your words don't back your actions.

You can't lead a country that is falling to debt and continued economic trouble by saying that the current administration has made "great economic progress", which is what McCain believes.

You can't lead a nation based on the belief that it has become a "Nation of Whiners" when all anyone is trying to do anymore is keep their job and feed their families.

You damned sure can't connect with the middle class, and especially not the lower class, when you can't remember how many houses you(r wife) own(s).

McCain has said all these things and more, and yet still professes that Obama is an elitist and looks down on the working man and his families.

That proves to me that he is not only ignorant, but elitist himself.

Obama made himself clear last night as to what he plans to do once in office:

Our government should work for us, not against us. It should help us, not hurt us. It should ensure opportunity not just for those with the most money and influence, but for every American who's willing to work.

That's the promise of America - the idea that we are responsible for ourselves, but that we also rise or fall as one nation; the fundamental belief that I am my brother's keeper; I am my sister's keeper.

That's the promise we need to keep. That's the change we need right now. So let me spell out exactly what that change would mean if I am President.

Change means a tax code that doesn't reward the lobbyists who wrote it, but the American workers and small businesses who deserve it.

Unlike John McCain, I will stop giving tax breaks to corporations that ship jobs overseas, and I will start giving them to companies that create good jobs right here in America.

I will eliminate capital gains taxes for the small businesses and the start-ups that will create the high-wage, high-tech jobs of tomorrow.

I will cut taxes - cut taxes - for 95% of all working families. Because in an economy like this, the last thing we should do is raise taxes on the middle-class.

And for the sake of our economy, our security, and the future of our planet, I will set a clear goal as President: in ten years, we will finally end our dependence on oil from the Middle East.

... As President, I will tap our natural gas reserves, invest in clean coal technology, and find ways to safely harness nuclear power. I'll help our auto companies re-tool, so that the fuel-efficient cars of the future are built right here in America. I'll make it easier for the American people to afford these new cars. And I'll invest 150 billion dollars over the next decade in affordable, renewable sources of energy - wind power and solar power and the next generation of biofuels; an investment that will lead to new industries and five million new jobs that pay well and can't ever be outsourced.

... As Commander-in-Chief, I will never hesitate to defend this nation, but I will only send our troops into harm's way with a clear mission and a sacred commitment to give them the equipment they need in battle and the care and benefits they deserve when they come home.

I will end this war in Iraq responsibly, and finish the fight against al Qaeda and the Taliban in Afghanistan. I will rebuild our military to meet future conflicts. But I will also renew the tough, direct diplomacy that can prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons and curb Russian aggression. I will build new partnerships to defeat the threats of the 21st century: terrorism and nuclear proliferation; poverty and genocide; climate change and disease. And I will restore our moral standing, so that America is once again that last, best hope for all who are called to the cause of freedom, who long for lives of peace, and who yearn for a better future.

I think that he outlined what McCain is trying to do in his campaign fairly well also:

I know there are those who dismiss such beliefs as happy talk. They claim that our insistence on something larger, something firmer and more honest in our public life is just a Trojan Horse for higher taxes and the abandonment of traditional values. And that's to be expected. Because if you don't have any fresh ideas, then you use stale tactics to scare the voters. If you don't have a record to run on, then you paint your opponent as someone people should run from.

Simply put, the same policies aren't working, and McCain knows that running on Bush's record isn't going to work. Claiming that he will "continue" to do what Bush has done isn't going to work. So he is attempting to scare the public away from Obama with lies and falsities and HE is the one looking down on the American public by assuming that we're not going to look for the truth.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who won't and I'm sure they'll be the ones voting for McCain.

What I'd love to see is for the Obama campaign to send everyone a letter clarifying all the BS that comes through email. All the claims about him being a Muslim (when he's a Christian) or about him planning to free the terrorists (when all he is intending to do is get to the bottom of the Guantanamo cover-up). Or how he learned to "hate his mother's people" (boy, if that's not taken out of context to play into the hands of ignorant bigots!).

I only hope that this country gets a wake-up call before November and that Obama wins in a landslide to prove to the current administration that we NEED change, and NEED someone who gives a damn about the American people, not just the American Dollar.

नमस्ते
Namasté

Fight the Smears

The DNC...

2008-08-27T23:08:00.003-04:00

I've just finishes watching the DNC for this evening, and I was not at all disappointed by Biden's speech. I also appreciated hearing from both former President Clinton, and Senator Kerry as they discussed the current administration and the changes that have taken place in the last 8 years.

I wonder, honestly, how many Republicans were watching--are watching--the DNC and saying to themselves "You know...they're right". I mean really, how can anyone agree that this country is headed in the right direction? How can anyone agree that having someone take office that has consistently backed the current administrations rhetoric and failed policy will do any better for this country than Bush has?

It's sad to think that it's even possible that people can be so jaded by fear-mongering and hatred that they will follow their party over a cliff and take the rest of the country along with them.

It's sad to think that there are so many out there who believe that the middle class--the working class--is so far below the upper class because they aren't working, and aren't trying hard enough, or that the lower class is living in poverty because they refuse to work.

I have heard so many people say that if you don't have health care "It's your own fault". But they've never been without, and never had to look. I've heard people say that "any job is better than no job" and that "if you still can't afford to feed your kids--get a second". But what if having a second STILL doesn't feed the kids, and pay the bills? What if the fact that the welfare limits haven't chanced in 50 years and you fall into the cracks at less than half of what you would need to live an adequate life, AND have health care, AND pay all your bills.

What then?

It's sad that they don't know, and are so far above their peers that they could never know.

The unfortunate truth is that in the past year alone, I have had people who used to believe that come back to me and say they were sorry for doubting, and sorry for thinking that anyone could do it. They saw company cuts that they never thought would happen. They saw the rising cost of fuel, food and utilities skyrocket past their own means and had nowhere to turn for help. They saw their savings dwindle and when they lost their health coverage from work and went to seek state aid were told that they "make too much".

THAT is reality. That is what the last 8 years had given us and an administration under McCain would serve to bring more of.

I honestly hope that there are republicans out there watching the DNC and nodding. I honestly hope that they watch and realize that these people are right, and know what they are talking about. I hope that they listen to the truth behind the current administrations constant cover-ups, and the Republican candidates intentions.

I've lost a lot of faith in politics over the years, and watched countless elections stolen from the people because of loopholes and lies.

This time, I have a little hope that we will see a change.

God knows we need one.

Democracy, the DNC, and Family BS...

2008-08-25T14:50:00.004-04:00

So, I've made it no secret that I support Obama. I think he's a very charismatic man and has several times been likened to JFK, which I think is what this country is in need of; someone to be the Anti-Bush. The US has been lacking a leadership with a brain. I also think that it showed a lot of forethought and intelligence for Obama to choose a vice presidential candidate who strengthened his shortcomings and could challenge his thinking. That proved to me that he is someone who can admit that he has faults and wants to strengthen himself in those areas--as opposed to having someone tho hides the truth, continually covers up his mistakes, or passes the buck along and then claims executive privilege to further hide any wrongdoing.

I'm looking forward to the DNC and the speeches to be given. I'm especially looking forward to hearing Biden and Ted Kennedy speak and maybe Hillary as well...I haven't decided whether I want to listen to her rhetoric or not. Same goes for Michelle.

Unfortunately, in the area of the country where I live (dubbed Redneck, NY) I am surrounded by Right-Wing Republicans who can't see anything but the color of Obama's skin and the fact that he's a Democrat. I honestly think that most of these people listen only to the rumors they have heard from others and have played right into the hands of the other fearmongering idiots who still spew the same BS about Obama being a Muslim or believing everything his preacher said. Nevermind that the posterchild for "Let them Eat Cake", McCain, is running about proving that he could be Bush Jr. by claiming that he isn't even sure how many homes (his wife) owns while there are thousands of people in this country struggling not to lose theirs.

Yet Obama is elitist?

Go figure...

Sometimes I really do wonder if the Republican party is filled with little more than the same yes-men that populate the vast majority of the churches they populate. So many sheep willing to be led by whatever figure their party/church sticks up on stage. Nevermind listening to what they actually SAY or DO, just nod and applaud and go along with the rest of the masses so that you're not singled out. And no, I won't say they're all like that. I've had the good fortune in my life to meet some people who think for themselves and have an actual reason and purpose for following the party or religion, but then those people tend to not be as judgmental, hypocritical and 'holier-than-thou' than their counterparts.

I really wish that there was less of a fear in this area to speak your mind and go with your own way of thinking than to go with the flow. I also wish that certain members of my family wouldn't fill my inbox with multiple emails resembling the things I already described. I've toyed with the thought of forwarding them all anti-McCain mails, but then I know that if I did I would probably never hear the end of it, and I think I keep myself from forwarding said mails more to keep them from harassing my poor mother about her "non-conformist daughter" than anything else. But then she knows that I am diametrically opposed to a good number of things that most of our family had spouted.

In any case, we shall see how the DNC goes, and what sort of things are said along the way. I'm sure McCain is waiting until after the convention to bother with a running mate, as he is more than likely trying to find someone at least half as good as Biden and much younger than himself to make him look better...but with the rampant corruption in the Republican Party...he's more than likely going to ahve a tough time of it.

Gender Stereotypes?

2008-08-11T10:03:00.002-04:00

Swiped from Zuri

YOUR BOY SIDE:
[x] you love hoodies
[x] you love jeans
[ ] dogs are better then cats
[ ] its hilarious when people get hurt
[x] you've played with/against boys on a team
[x] sometimes shopping is torture
[x] sad movies suck
[ ] you own an XBOX
[x] you played with Hot Wheels as a little kid
[ ] at some point in life you wanted to be a firefighter
[x] you own/owned a DS, PS2, or Sega
[ ] you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
[ ] sometimes you watch sports on TV
[x] gory movies are cool
[ ] you go to your dad for advice
[ ] you own like a trillion baseball hats
[ ] you used to/do collect football collector cards
[x] baggy sweatpants are cool to wear
[x] its kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
[x] green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors
[x] you love to go crazy and not care what other people think
[ ] sports are fun (depends on the sport...and who I'm playing with)
[x] sometimes you talk with food in your mouth
[x] sometimes you sleep at night with your socks on
[x] you have fished at least once
TOTAL = 15

YOUR GIRL SIDE:
[x] sometimes you love to shop
[x] you wear eyeliner, sometimes
[x] sometimes you go to your mom for advice
[ ] you consider cheer leading a sport
[ ] you hate wearing the color black
[ ] you like going to the mall
[ ] you like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[ ] you like wearing jewelry
[ ] you cried watching The Notebook
[ ] skirts are a big part of your wardrobe
[ ] shopping is one of your hobbies
[ ] you don't like the movie Star Wars
[ ] you are/were in gymnastics
[ ] it takes you around one hour to shower
[ ] you smile a lot more than you should
[ ] you have more than 10 pairs of shoes
[x] you care about what you look like
[ ] you like wearing dresses when you can
[ ] you wear body spray/perfume
[ ] you like high heel shoes
[x] you used to play with dolls as a kid
[x] you like putting makeup on others (boys?)
[ ] you like being the star of almost everything
[ ] pink is one of your favorite colors
TOTAL= 6

Male, 15, female, 6.

DOES THIS SURPRISE ANYONE???

back again......

2008-07-28T14:27:00.003-04:00

Well, as you all (all??? all what? 2?) can tell, I stopped posting for a while.

The "Faith in Humanity Project" was, shall we say...a bust. I know people who have done nothing but climb, while my own posts were either dropping drastically, or staying close to the same (while still dropping). I don't know if it's because things are so bad here in the US (economically, socially, politically), or because they simply don't read the headlines, but every day I would look at my news ticker and just be sickened by the number of reports about mega-billion dollar companies paying their CEO's 7 figures in yearly salary while the company itself is close to going under (hmmm...), or the women who are on probation for assault, child endangerment and kidnapping who go off and throw themselves a baby shower...then cut the neighbor woman open and steal her baby.

Seriously, I don't know where people are looking at news, but when there is so much of that coming through the news, I don't know how folks can keep much "faith in humanity".

Now don't get me wrong, it hasn't been all bad. I have wonderful, supportive friends, who I wouldn't trade for the world. My kids are great (if not annoying, and overly energetic...), my husband is supportive and puts up with my eccentricities without missing a beat (poor sod...). I can't complain about my life personally. I've been fortunate. But that project wasn't about ones personal life...it was about ones faith in humanity...and I don't have much ;p

In any case, I'm back again. Who knows if I will keep up with it this time. I've opened a blog on "EverydayHealth.Com" to track my current diet progress and recipes, and all that jazz...getting back into shape, exercising, and getting myself into a routine, albeit vague, so that I can get things sorted with work, kids and myself.

And with a birthday a little less than a month away, I guess now is the time to do it, eh? Not like 34 is some life-changing age or anything--in fact, it will probably pass without a sneeze, just like 33 did. But we'll see what we shall see.

Here's hoping though. ;)

Faith in Humanity Project...cont. #6

2008-03-06T09:52:00.004-05:00

Total carried over from here: 320 (still!!)

March 5-6:

+1 - HAHAHAHAHAHA! Told'ya Moses was stoned ;p

Total: 321

March 7-8:

-1 for Our president...again...
-1 for shovelling at 7Am and having another 3 inches of snow to replace it by 9 >.<

Total: 319

The Death of an Icon...

2008-03-05T11:15:00.002-05:00

Geeks the world over suffered a moment of silence yesterday as one of the creators of the original Dungeons and Dragons game, The one and only Gary Gygax himself, passed on to the Outer Planes. What many may not know is that he was also one of the Founding Fathers of the great Con Circuit, as GenCon itself started out in his basement ;p

As someone who has been playing D&D for better than two thirds of her life, I have to say that I was left stunned and saddened by the loss. I myself am an old-school gamer. I've been very reluctant to move to Third Edition, muchless 4th, and especially after years ago when Gary was veritably shut out of the company he founded and the game he created for us.

The new catch phrase seems to be "Rolling in his Grave", and to me, there are so many innuendos to this that I have to laugh. Of course I know this means rolling his dice, though it could also go hand in hand with the more traditional meaning of "rolling in disgust" over something that is happening. Then too, it could mean "rolling with laughter". In whatever case, I'm sure he will be rolling, somehow, someway, and teaching the folks upstairs to throw dice and loosen up.

I can't even begin to describe how many weekends I spent in my youth huddled around a table with a bottle (2 litre mind you) of mountain dew in one hand, my dice in the other, and the pizza being delivered, as our little group of 8 got together to play. We didn't sleep from Friday morning for school until some point Sunday afternoon when the caffeine had worn off and the pizza was long gone. And it didn't matter. We had fun. We stayed in. We stayed out of trouble.

And it gave each of us a love of fantasy that was unmatched; A love of reading and writing that we continue through today; and friendships that decades later are still solid. Any 'holy roller' stigma that was settled on D&D because of a few warped individuals did nothing to stop the sheer love of the game. The sound of dice on the table, paper rustling, pens scratching...there's nothing quite like it.

My husband and I have started teaching our oldest son to play. He's learning with the newer editions, though we still own all of my first edition books. He reads through and asks me what THAC0 is, and I patiently explain. He says "that makes no sense..." and I shrug. "It did to me." and it still does.

Sometimes I think in the guise of simplification the new rulebooks have added a few too many rules. Which is why House Rules prevail, and the tabletop of our house, however small it might be, will continue to be a spot where the dice click and tumble.

But...I just wanted to say a bit about the man who helped bring fantasy into the lives of millions, and who helped to bring millions of friends together through it.

Rest in Peace, Dungeon Master.
You were loved, and you will be missed.

Gary Gygax
1938-2008

You can read more about him here:
Wikipedia
game credits
NY times
C|net Central

OotS

Faith in Humanity project, cont...#5

2008-03-04T09:23:00.006-05:00

Total carried over from here: 321

March 1-4:

+1 still having money left over when you thought it would be long gone!
-1 for the sick intentions of our government
-1 for lovesick teens who think they're above the law...
-1...and can't even begin to describe this one
-1 for the death of a legend. Thank you sir for bringing fantasy to millions of gamers everywhere and for being one of the sparks for the generations to come! This Dice Junkie salutes you! P.S. Make sure you look for the tall guy in the purple suit. His name's Marcus. He's love to talk shop. and please, give him a hug for me.
+1 for respect. The sheer inuendo alone from that had me rolling ;)
+1 for this!! I love it!

Total: 320

Faith in Humanity Project, cont...4

2008-02-14T13:21:00.005-05:00

Total carried over from here: 321

February 11-14:

+1 for Obama's clean sweep
+1 for McCain having it prettymuch in the bag (as the lesser of all evils)
+1 for last minute phone calls about a car, just when you'd given up hope!
-1 for prudes who have no life...
-1 for software updates that fuck up your hardware (and a weeks worth of work to boot).
+1 for waking up to hear "Crappy Valentine's Day" and knowing that's perfectly okay.
-1 for seeing another story like this
-1 and this
+1 for people like this! -- Danie, you rock! We need more people like you!!

Total: 322

February 15-29:

+1 for having things go your way ;p
+1 for guys who are cool enough to bring it to you!
-1 for their psycho girlfriends...
+1 for when the new (used) vehicle needs less work than you thought!
-1 for the DMV's refusal to issue extension stickers
-1 for when the cops are out...thick...and having to go through the same story (with something-from a cop-saying that you have an excuse) 6 times in the same week...
+1 for having the taxes show up "just in time"
-1...WTF?
-1 for people who take advantage of you...
-1 for this whole media frenzy surrounding the candidates running for office...and their propaganda wagons...
-1 for when the casualties of war far surpass the number of deaths that stemmed from the cause for going to war...
+1 for two day shipping (at no extra cost)! 0.o
+1 for getting your life back! (even if it took 13 years....)

Total: 321

Pragmatic Eccentricities V. 3

2008-02-14T12:35:00.004-05:00

First off, Happy Valentines Day, folks.
I hope that your day is filled with hearts, flowers and much chocolate ;p

It's been a rollercoaster week here in Buffalo (read: Hell). Both the weather and the cash-flow circus have gone up and down more than I care to relay. Between looking for a new vehicle, dealing with the kids stupid teachers and valentine's day demands, and PayPal snaffu's, I've had my fair share of BS for the month muchless the week. And reading through the headlines the last few days, I'm both mildly pleased and a little disturbed by what I've been reading.

First, you have Obama's clean sweep of the primaries. This makes me quite happy. As much as I have my reservations for his presidency should he win, I really do think that this country needs someone with his charisma and multi-cultural background. I just wish the rumor mills would shut themselves down and get their facts straight before pumping out any further bullshit for us to read and file under "useless propaganda". The whole "Muslim Problem" that has been circulated 9and actually mailed to me by my incredibly right-wing grandfather) has actually gotten itself stuck in my craw. Someone was quoted in the comments of a blog I read about this as saying "It's in his blood" (referring to Obama's KENYAN father's Muslim childhood). Do people not know enough geography to understand that Kenya is several thousand miles south of Iraq and that the Muslim religion is about as multi-denominational as Christianity ;p Seriously...look at a freakin' map people...

But "It's in the blood"...that just pisses me off. As if every German is a Nazi? Ever Irishman is a drunk? Every Italian is a gigolo?

God...my kids are screwed...

And sticking with politics for a second, we'll say that McCain is going to wrap up this nomination. Good Deal. Whenever it was he ran last (or had tried anyway), I was actually rooting for him. I don't have a lot of issues with him and think that as a Republican, he would be okay. Maybe that's because of all the flack he's getting that he's too liberal to get the GOP support. Gee...I wonder why it looks like Obama is doing so well then? Maybe it's because the people in this country are realizing that the ultra-conservative moron in office doesn't give a rats ass about this country, it's people, or it's economy as he passes the biggest budget in history and pays off the wealthy folks with a "stimulus plan" that would be better served to help the people who NEED THE MONEY and would actually put it back into the economy?

Maybe we're all just sick of the bigots? Who knows...

But I read something this morning about the RightWing starting a third party so they could have a more conservative draw. Now...That's just ignorance at it's best.

I get that expanding the parties is good. It opens up for more people to vote for the things that are important, and without the confines of the Democratic and Republican platforms in their exclusivity. BUT! it also DIVIDES those platforms, giving you a smaller voter base to draw from and thus lessening your chances of actually WINNING! Didn't...look at that, I can't even remember his name now...PAUL! Ron Paul...didn't he learn that last time he tried to run as an independent? Doesn't work.

I've no issues with there being a third or even fourth party, but they'll have to be around for a good long while and have some DAMNED good candidates to draw any attention to them and have them be firm platforms that will last long enough to have any sniffle of a chance anytime in the future.

So on that note...I'll say that I hope they do form a third party, since maybe I'll be dead before anyone in it wins a nomination ;)

*cough*

Anyway...getting back to Valentines Day--and I love this--headlines today: "Love Hurts: Sadomasochism's Dangers" and "Pain for my Valentine?". I love it! Sadomasochism and self-mutilation! Nothing says love like that! Just what I want to read about while I'm weeding through aphrodisiac recopies and advertisements for last minute boxes of $50 chocolates! (and that's for 12 folks...).

And reading the commentary onthese articles is always hilarious:

"These people are sick. Anyone who would participate in that sort of thing needs to be in therapy. It terrifies me that someone like that could be teaching my children!"

Yeah...I'm sure that he WANTED to be found half dead in a sex club with heels and a leather cap on. Somehow I highly doubt he's going to be able to show his face at teh school he worked in again without his students looking at him a COMPLETELY different light!

But know what? It's none of their business what he does in his free time. Why the hell does everybody think that teachers, doctors, preachers, nurses, lawyers, politicians etc. are asexual creatures who never get their rocks off? And if they do, do they do it neatly and in a sterile environment followed by anti-bacterial decontamination?

When I was a kid, our preacher had six kids. Mitosis?

Honestly, I have to wonder about the people who think public figures aren't supposed to have a sex life. Are they jealous because theirs isn't as fun? Maybe they're living in their own closets and secretly want to visit clubs like the NutCracker! ;)

Get a life, people.

And if you're not interested...come watch my kids so my husband and I can go!

Faith in Humanity Project, cont...3

2008-02-03T11:06:00.000-05:00

Total carried over from last post: 329

February 1-2:

-1 for Murphy's law...
+1 for the ability to get in and out of the tax office in under an hour!

Total: 329

February 3:

+1 for absolute BRILLIANCE like this
-1 for this moron thinking that what he's doing is going to be of any help whatsoever, when it's the TAXES that are paying for his war in the first place! Down goes the dollar, folks!
+1 for his LAST year in office!! WOOHOO!
-1 That things like this still happen regularly... (waiting for it to come back as "suffocation").

Total: 329

February 4:

-1 for the fact that our youths are getting more and more like this every day. The fact that kids that age, and an Eagle Scout no less, can do things like this and no one seems to wonder what society as a whole is doing wrong to correct the growing youth VIOLENT crime rate, frankly makes me ill.
-1 for getting a $5000 check...and knowing that it's already spent on immediate necessities. Hooray govt...
-1 for the fact that this question is even being asked!...

Total: 326

February 5 & 6:

-1 for the loss of innocent children to parents like this...
-1...I don't know whether this is funny or sad...the words "probably dead" just make me laugh. I would think it should be fairly obvious, although disturbing.

Total: 324

February 7:

-1 for people who think that Global Warming = Armageddon...
-1 for people who didn't see this coming and
-1 for people who are blaming the democrats for wanting to give "free money" to the people who worked when the people who are working now were babies ;p God forbid.
+1 for survivors!
+1 for this!! I know far too many people that I want to forward this to!! XD

-1 for this guy...somehow I could have bypassed the fact that he stabbed and shot his wife--HAD HE NOT DONE IT IN A CLASSROOM FULL OF FIFTH GRADERS!

Total: 322

February 8:

+1 for this mom! More parents need to step up and teach their kids to respect authority! Maybe then our juvenile crime rate would go down...
+1 for the DC court of Appeals!!

Total: 324

February 9-10:

-1...trying to find a "family vehicle" on websites and newspapers that don't remove ads after the vehicles have been sold ;p
-1 for -22 degree wind shills--and having to send your kids to school anyway??
-1.... WHAT!?!?! (I read this headline 4 times...HOW is this even questionable?!)

Total: 321

Faith in Humanity Project, cont...2

2008-01-25T09:12:00.000-05:00

Total carried over from here: 337

January 25:

-1 for people who can't be bothered to take 2 seconds out of their day to do something nice for someone else...
+1 for cuteness
-1 that anyone found things like this amusing
-1 for our children doing things like this!

Total: 335

January 26 & 27:

+1 for fantastic people who are willing to work with you! (Thanks Mike!)
+! for petitions like this one (please sign and help protect artists from art theft).

Total: 337

January 28

- 1 for sick bastards like this guy
-1 and this one!!!
-1 for this guy too!...

Total: 334

January 29:

-1 for Bullshit
+1 for reality

Total: 334

January 30:

-1 for parents like this guy.
-1 for 45 degree days where everything thaws directly followed by 15 degree days that freeze your car into the mud that is your backyard... *sigh* (But Global Warming is a farce...shh)
-1 for shit like this

Total: 331

January 31:

-1 for another gas hike...ain't it funny how before Bush got into office, gas only cost about $1.50 and it's been going up ever since?
-1 for the loss of our soldiers to a government who doesn't care and who ignore the less obvious harm and effects on our troops.
-1 for ANOTHER father like this
+1 for the US in numbers...and art..

Total: 329

Pragmatic Eccentricities V.2

2008-01-25T07:44:00.000-05:00

So the last week has been a bit of a downer. between the complete stupidity that is our government here in the states, to the untimely loss of an actor that my family all enjoyed, to the rampant ignorance that plagues society--yeah...it's been fun.

I don't really know why I care about the political race. I learned in junior high that any sort of election is nothing more than a popularity contest and that mud-slinging will get you further than any actual ability you have. I remember quite clearly how the most popular kids in school would run against the most intelligent kids in school and always win because they were better looking and had more money. I was sickened by it then, and it doesn't seem any different now. I remember debating with my teachers about voting in those stupid booths, collecting signatures from friends who didn't want the popular kids to win and telling the teacher, "See how many people DON'T want them? Now watch how little of a difference it makes because they have more friends." Sure enough, they always won, they got their photo op, their pictures in the yearbook, and then proceeded to sit on their asses and be a pretty figurehead who did absolutely jack-schit the rest of the year.

Now, you have our "Good Ol-Boy" President whose accent gets thicker faster than his I.Q. decreases. He's trying to redeem himself by buying off the country. Seriously folks, don't let him dupe you into thinking that a big fat check is going to do anything more for this economy than create a temporary sense of hope--Just long enough for him to get out of office with a nice high approval rating. You can almost bet that your check will come later in the year rather than sooner, and that they'll probably say that "people got their income tax returns recently, and we wanted to space out the checks to make the most good", and by the end of the year we'll have seen him on TV so much spouting his tripe and doing all this shit that he should have been doing all along that his rating will go up 25% or more just like Reagan's did. It's a nice trick really. I just wish people weren't so stupid that they'd fall for it...

Then we have those people who would be Republican even if the candidate had been a mass murder. They'd find some justification for voting for the Republican Candidate simply because they couldn't stand to see a Democrat in office.

I got a mail the other day through my family spouting crap about Obama. Now, I like Obama...don't really trust him, but then as I've already said, I have no faith in politics anymore. This email wasn't just about Obama, but about Muslims in general and how they "can never be good Americans" because they don't believe in God. The fact that Obama ISN'T Muslim wasn't part of the equation since this mail said he was and linked him to all sorts of atrocities. I think that people need to start checking their facts and wake the hell up.

And out Baptist President has done SUCH great things for this country?

And the Catholic priests who have been raping little children for years were the pillars of American Society?

Does that mean that Jews are innately Un-American as well?

but wait no...we can't say that because--CHRIST WAS A JEW!

Come the hell on people. The fact that reading through that email and getting to the part about Obama being Muslim I immediately stopped and started to growl about "stupid people and their bigoted bullshit". I returned a note and basically echoed what I just wrote along with a link to the Snopes site debunking the claims. (I almost always check Snopes before I send on any chain letters, and so should you). And you know, they agreed with me--mostly.

I'm not going to go so far as to say that I think some divine entity is going to decide who gets into office. If that was the case, then I think that the greater powers are sending us to our doom. I just truly think that Americans need to give up the idea that they have some monopoly on moral standards and look at the facts surrounding them. Pull their heads out of the holes they've dug for themselves and actually read a freakin' paper. Look at what this Holier-than-thou attitudes have gotten us over the past few decades. Listen to what other countries think of us (it's not good...). If you're online, then talk to people from other countries about their ACTUAL perceptions of the US.

While we're priding ourselves on being a philanthropic nation, we've got climbing poverty and unemployment rates. We have more overweight people, less educated people, and are STILL more segregated than most civilized nations. Yet for some reason it's the people right here in this country who don't notice it. Maybe it's because of the declining education system? Perhaps the people here are just too stupid or jaded to look around them? Or maybe they aren't being taught enough about the world outside our own borders to realize that we just don't have it so good.

You have Freedom of Speech -- unless you insult someone, or make a derogatory comment about them in public that could "damage their credibility" or "damage them psychologically". Then they can sue you.

You have Freedom of Expression -- unless it offends someone else.

You have Freedom of Religion -- unless it isn't mainstream, or doesn't follow the same belief system as the next guy in line. Then they'll run you out of town with their harassment--which is overlooked by the town leaders who happen to follow the same religion as the other guy.

You have Freedom of Choice -- so long as someone else chooses what's good for you.

Yeah, we've got it good here, don't we?

When I was a kid, we got a lot of "Shut up and deal" speeches. If you're being picked on, it's not because there's anything wrong with you, it's because the other kid is insecure and needs to feel better about themselves. This was a lesson in self-worth. It was "I'm fine. I don't need to listen to you." Nowadays if someone belittles you they can be reprimanded for mental distress? Excuse me, but how is that teaching your kid anything? Is it punishment because the other person did something wrong, or is it ignoring the obvious? It certainly doesn't make your child any stronger by saying "I'll make them stop, don't you worry."

We've become desensitized to the things that are important and overly pussified to the things that don't. Every little, stupid issue gets blown out of proportion and someone finds themselves in a lawsuit because Dick called Jane a slut for wearing too much makeup at the age of 12. Well YEAH! Sorry, but when I was 12, you were. Now it's supposed to be perfectly okay for our children to dress like adults when they're not even out of grade school, and then we're all shocked and horrified when those same kids run away with people twice their age? Give me a freakin' break! What the hell do you expect?

Maybe I should start suing people because their refusal to put clothes on their 12 pre-teen daughters offends me??? Might be a good way to make a buck, eh?

I don't know...honestly it's just sickening to read the news anymore and look at how ridiculous things have gotten in the last 20 years, or even the last 10. I'm waiting for election day this year to watch someone else get elected on the popularity ticket, and by that, I don't mean the Popular Vote, since if that mattered at all we wouldn't have had Bush in office the last 8 years. I'm hoping that people will actually start paying attention to the important things in the media as opposed to the hate-driven, bigoted propaganda that flies all over the place anymore.

On that note (and unrelated to politics), I hope that the media stops slinging mud about Heath Ledger's death. He was a very genuine actor, and someone who seemed (by the accounts I've read) to be clean. It's sad to think that someone who wouldn't drink would die of a drug related overdose. I'm hoping that the pharmacology reports come back and show some bad mix of his meds and prove that it wasn't something he did deliberately. Not that anything could make his family feel better for the loss at this point, but the crap I've been hearing about his "secret cocaine habit" and other such shit (when the bill they tested for cocaine tested clean) is just wrong. And now there are people wanting to protest at his FUNERAL!? because of a MOVIE he made.

Way to advocate Christ's message of good will and brotherly love there. Have some respect for the dead.

Faith in Humanity Project...cont.

2008-01-18T20:22:00.001-05:00

Total carried over from here: 342

January 18:

-1 for things like this...

Total: 341

January 19:

-1 for people who whine about never having money but yet seem to always have new and expensive stuff... *hmmm*

Total: 340

January 20:

+1 for family functions that don't completely suck
-1 for drunken relatives who can't take a hint and destroy the night for everyone

Total: 340

January 23:

-1 for our obsession with celebrity propaganda and over-glorification of the ugly aspects of their lives.
-1 for another young actor lost too soon...
-1 for chain emails that spout complete lies as truth...

Total: 337

January 24:

+1 *snicker* You can bet I'm in!
-1 for sick, sad opportunistic bigots who have no respect for the dead or anyone else...

Total: 337

Poly-ticks.....

2008-01-18T19:59:00.000-05:00

So I read multiple news feeds today about the president passing a $116-$160 billion dollar tax break in the new to immediate future in an effort to boost the economy and keep us out of a recession...

Now, let me ask one thing...

Did it work when he tried this in 2001?

Apparently not.

Only one person who commented on the blogs that I was reading got the fact that the government is basically writing themselves a blank check and saying "If we need more money, we'll just print more". It's not that it actually EXISTS. And every time they print more your dollar is worth LESS!

Did you know that the Canadian dollar is now worth MORE than the US dollar? and it's been like that for some time now...Where we used to have people coming to the states from Canada to do some shopping because they could get more for their buck, it's now going the other way around--though that will stop now that people have to get more stringent identification to cross the border and a lot of people who can't afford to shop in the states--people who don't qualify for state aid, will now have to try to dig deeper into their pockets to try and balance their budget.

Funny how the US government doesn't have to worry about a balanced budget, huh? They can just print themselves more cash.

Then there's the guy who actually complained that he might receive an extra $1600 taxbreak this year. WTF is that? While no, I don't think that giving people this money is going to do anything but raise false hopes (kinda like that whole "unemployment down 15%" news article boom--RIGHT before the holidays) but it's FREE MONEY! SHUT THE HELL UP! One thing I learned a long time ago is not to punch the gift horse, yaknow. I can make money like that stretch a LONG way! That alone would pay off the taxes on my house that are past due and lift the lien on my property! You want to bitch that it's not enough for you to do anything worth while, then buddy send it my way! I've got bills to pay and a house with no insulation that needs repairs. I'll be happy to take your "pittance"!

/tangent

But getting back to the economy...

You've got all these people worried about their mortgages and not spending as much in the market because--hmm...lets see--everything costs more. How is giving them money going to do anything other than allow someone to go out, buy some big expensive toy and in a couple months the recession continues as planned. Prices go back up, people who were hired because of your temporary boost lose their jobs again...what good did it do? It's the same concept as raising the minimum wage; it sounds good in theory--give people more money so they can afford to buy more. But then everything else starts to go up in price to offset the cost that employers are now having to pay...and it makes that hike in pay USELESS!

We were discussing the other day that if the economy continues the way it is, our oldest son will be paying $12 a gallon for gas when he reaches our age. Impossible you say? Not when you figure that when we were his age it was pretty uncommon to see gas go over $1 a gallon. When we moved up here in 1998 gas cost $1.30--and that was just 10 years ago.

200% in 10 years time...you do the math.

I think maybe Congress and the people who make the laws in this country need to live on a budget for a while. Cut your salaries down to $40k a year and see how you do with a family of 5 (and that's being generous...we make half that)--but then they're too comfy in their cushy jobs and big houses looking down on the rest of us who don't rub elbows with them to have a clue...

Faith in Humanity Project...

2008-01-08T22:12:00.001-05:00

So through my home on the net deviantART, I was directed to this journal by Alexander S. Jegtnes.

Basically, the idea is that you start with 365 points (one for every day of the year) minus one for every day after the first that you start (to be fair, since you're late). Then you add, or subtract one point as per the good or stupid things you hear accordingly. If you reach 0 before the 31st of December 2008, then Humanity has failed you. If not, there's still hope!

I figured, since this place gets little use and I only update for rants (usually) anyway, we'll give it a touch more traffic by giving me a reason to update every day.

And if I fail to update...then feel free to subtract a point for me ;)

Who's in?

Faith in Humanity Project

Start Date = January 8th
Starting points = 357 (365 - 8 days)

and right off the bat...

-1 for the "Draw me a prostitute" post in the News section...
+1 for Bill (GereratingHype, because he's an inspiration)
+1 for my sister
-1 for Britney Spears (won't go there...)
-1 for Katie (if you don't know...don't ask...)
-1 for this article...
-1 for this article too (WTF?!)
-1 for this one as well... (hooray for the police department!)
+1 for this one! Go MOM!
-1 for these people
+1 for this one.

Total: 354

January 9:

-1 for this...
and -1 for this guy...
-1 for the very idea of this
-1 for this local school board...
-1 for this one too...

Total: 349

January 10:

-1 for this woman...
-1 for Madonna (though I still adore her) and the trend that will probably follow...
-1 for reality TV
+1 for responsible semi-celebs
-1 for people like this...(dad fucks up...but it's not his fault! It's the manufacturers! Is that like the lady who sued cause she ordered hot coffee--AND GOT IT?)

Total: 346

January 11:

-1 for the people running (read: ruining) our country
-1 (and that's being generous) for pathetic excuses for "adults" like the ones who caused this little girls death...
-1 for my husband's "art" teacher who thinks that "Escher was a "copout artist" for using repeating patterns and graphing out his images.
+1 for kids like this one!

Total: 344

January 12:

+1 for Decent, cheap life insurance
+1 for this fella
+1 for spontaneous acts of kindness :)
-1 for this... *sigh*
-1 for people like this guy...
+1/-1 for things that would never happen in the US
-1 ridiculously loud neighbors that just don't care...

Total: 344

January 13:

-1 for people who think the world revolves around them
-1 for people who knowingly take advantage of their friends--and then complain about not getting what they expect

Total: 342

January 14:

+1 for this! (I know the dad is going to go to jail, but I wish to god more rapists got this treatment!!)

Total: 343

January 15-17:

+1 for random emails and phone calls from good friends.
+1 for life long friendships
+1 for people who accept you unconditionally
-1 for folks who can't accept a gift (or more accept it then bitch that they wanted more than one... *sigh*)
-1 for punk ass kids who have nothing better to do than start $#it (we had three such incidents this week)
-1 for things like this
-1 for the fact that we have to pay more for a gallon of milk than for a gallon of gas...

Total: 342

Please Note: I don't go searching for stuff... I have a news ticker on my desktop and just call it as I see it... Show me things that are redeeming, and I'll be happy to add them to the list...

OMG! You're brilliant!! /sarcasm

2007-12-19T09:14:00.000-05:00

News flash people!!
Healthier food is more expensive!!

Well color me shocked!

Seriously, what genius decided that they needed to PAY SOMEONE to figure out what anyone living on a strict budget will tell you--better food costs more! I mean, it really is sad when you have to rationalize that the cost of salad is too high to justify when you live on a fixed income, but it's the truth. Not to mention cereal--The better it is for you, the more it costs and the smaller the boxes get. Then you have meat...the leaner the meat, the higher the price. Add a "Low Fat! Low Sodium" sticker to the front of anything and you can automatically charge twice as much!

Did it really take a "Study" to figure this out? Are skinnier people really skinny because they eat right and exercise, or because they can afford to buy food with healthier ingredients, and go to restaurants with a healthier menu? I know in the few times we've splurged on take-out in the last few months it's been dollar menu burgers over the $4 salads. And if I can buy a can of sodium-rich, fat packed chicken noodle for $.50, why am I going to spend $2 for the all-natural, sodium free stuff?

Would I like to? Certainly!! But with a family of 5 and a limited income, I damned sure can't afford to!

And then you have dozens more studies saying that The Poor have Higher Obesity Rates, and that poor children become obese at a younger age...and that there are more overweight people than underweight/starving people...

Brilliance, I tell you.

Now, it's not that I don't appreciate people getting the word out and writing about it. (What am I doing?) I just don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure these things out. People with the money to eat healthier never have to think about it though, so they probably have no clue, and know what? That's most of the people who do these studies in the first place! *gasp!*

One person writing an article, or maybe it was someone interviewed for it, actually said "We were shocked to learn this".

What the hell rock have you been under? Do you not even LOOK at the more inexpensive stuff? Have you never compared ingredient labels before? Do you not know anyone whose income is far enough below yours to make a difference?

Now look too, at the cost of those popular Diets. Most have a monthly cost on top of the healthier food that you will need to buy. And gym memberships are even more expensive. So you've immediately got people saying that they "can't afford to". And you have the media saying that "fat is bad", so they buy "low fat" foods (and eat just as much of it). "Calories are bad" , so they buy low cal food (and eat just as much). "Carbs are bad", so they buy low-carb foods (and eat just as much, PLUS they feel like crap).

And yet people are still wondering why the obesity rates are climbing?

People...soda costs less than bottled water.

Then...you have the asinine idea of "serving sizes".

Have you ever actually looked at serving sizes? Have you ever compared how a REAL PERSON eats as opposed to what the box says is a normal serving equaling the calories they put down? More than likely not. They don't make cereal bowls in the proper size for one serving because they're too damned small. So automatically, take whatever the serving says and double it.

Seriously.

Does anybody REALLY split a can of soup, spagetti'O's, or anything like that? Doubtful...you open the can and dump it in a bowl, nuke it and you're done. Guess what? One can is two servings, not one lunch! Nobody eats like that. Hell, I KNOW these things and still don't eat like that. It's stupid. It would double my food budget and my kids would starve.

Most people don't know either that one meal at Micky D's has as many calories as one person should eat in an entire day.

So look at what people say an average calorie intake should be. About 2500 calories, right? Okay, not bad. I think most people can do this even with the real-life serving sizes...

Until you start adding in all the Starbucks coffee, donuts and fast food.

It's ridiculous to think that people will automatically be healthier just because there is more healthy food available to them. That's just stupid. When the healthy food costs twice as much and comes in servings that are half the size, obviously you're going to go for more bang for your buck, and get the super-sized version for a few cents more. Right? I will say that McDonald's salads kick ass for lunch though, and are great low-cal...but they're pricey. So when you're trying to decide whether to spend $5 on a couple burgers, fries and a drink, or $4 on the salad alone...the burgers usually win out.

And then too, they want kids to be healthier in school, so they started changing the school menus. Cost of healthier food being more, the serving sizes at the schools have gone down. My 5 year old comes home hungry every day. My teenager says they serve tacos every day because the salads taste like cardboard. Way to go school board.

Why don't we try to put some effort into changing the information put into the media, instead of dumping all this money into useless surveys that tell people what everyone else already knows. Tell people that low-cal, low-carb, low-fat food doesn't work if the ingredients are crap and you're sitting at a desk job all day doing squat. Tell them, while they're buying it, that the one lunch from McDonald's is going to cost them their dinner calories too. That'd be dumb, huh? Their business would plummet. How about we push a trend to make the good stuff cheaper and the stuff that's bad for us more expensive? Would that help or hurt the pocket-liners?

Remember...if you can afford to eat better, you're probably not fat. So making the healthier food less expensive would not only help to make the poor healthier, but it would make the rich richer - if they wanted to still eat healthy. Or would that be demeaning because they weren't paying enough for their meals?

Hmm...

Gotta make you wonder.

/rant

Dissed again....

2007-12-07T08:13:00.000-05:00

So I posted some of my more recent pieces to a freelance group on deviantART and soon received a response that wasn't entirely great. The person asked what program I used to "model in" and I politely explained to him that I didn't create the mesh for the character. That was meant with:

"Oh, so you didn't actually do anything then?"

Now, I learned long ago when to just keep my mouth shut and let the ignorant people wallow in it. Had I said what I wanted to to the guy I would have found myself with a ban - which is why I'm posting it here instead ;p

There's a lot of people in the world who believe that using poser and programs like it is not actually creating art since you use base pieces and pre-made models in order to build a scene. They think that because you didn't create every tiny detail of the piece, e.g.; making the figure from scratch, creating the mesh for the wings, trees, animals, whatever is in the scene from nothingness into 3D, that you have actually not done anything at all.

So, that means that sculptors (clay) are doing nothing? They take? They take mounds of clay and shape it into what they want to a finished product. Or doll makers? Someone else creates the pieces and clothes that they select to make their finished product for sale--or the ones who repaint dolls to look like celebrities (like this guy). What about the people who "sculpt" in metals...car parts and the like? They're just riveting together pieces of steel until they look like something, yes? (and sometimes they don't even really have to look like anything! like the one here.) These are just a bunch of beads on a wire with a watch face attached, right? This, same? Bunch of beads on a string? Or...dare I mention photographers? I mean, point and click! Really! Anybody can do that, right?

And those who know me know very well that I have a huge respect for artists, artisans and photographers, but I have heard arguments like this from people who honestly think that anything other than blank paper or canvas to finished image "is not art." This is of course ridiculous and proves only that those people have never even attempted to do some of the things they are disclaiming.

So I resolved this morning to do a little Tutorial, just to show people what it takes to create a scene in DAZ|Studio with screenshots along the way to show each piece as it's added and placed into a scene. Hopefully this will help the naysayers understand how much WORK goes into creating a piece of ART with programs like this and does a little to stop the misconception that we aren't artists because we use pre-created models and morphs in our work.

Lets just see what we can come up with, shall we?

Part 2: Coming Soon.

Tis the season...

2007-12-02T12:13:00.001-05:00

So here it's Dec. 2 and I'm trying to figure out where 2007 went...

Seriously, I have to say that I think this year went by faster than any other that I can recall...because I can't recall most of it!

Everybody is rushing around now to try and get their holiday preparations done. Next week is Hanukkah, then Solstice, then Christmas. All the giftage and madness of the season is taking hold.

Time to go broke, folks ;p

Unfortunately, this will be a lean Christmas here, just because of how the checks fall, but *shrug* Long as the kids have something to open, they're happy. I've been trying to pummel into them that Christmas is NOT about "getting" things. The 5-year-old has become obsessed with "Can you add this to my Christmas List?" The 3-year-old is completely oblivious and wants nothing more than to build a snowman in 18 degree weather. The oldest at least has learned to be happy with what he gets, and knows that I won't be putting anything he doesn't NEED on his list other than a few small things that I know he collects and/or can share with his friends. And this year he actually went through his collections and pulled out a couple things for his best friend who collects the same thing). I was very proud. ^.^

Me? I think I'm going to find me a bunker someplace and ride out the winter, if it's all the same to you ;p Being married to Scrooge and having to "look forward to" the family get-together at the end of the month sorta takes its toll on Holiday Cheer... But only because I don't have the means to do things the way I would if I did--if that makes sense?

What would I really like to do if I had it? Hmm...

Well, for one, I'd hop a plane and go see my sister ;p LONG overdue, that.

I'd go get family pictures done, as we constantly get screamed at for not having them (and I do mean CONSTANTLY).

I'd get the hubby what he needs to finish his shop down in the dungeon.

And I'd get my kids new clothes that are long enough in the legs and arms, shoes that fit, and coats that don't have holes in the lining.

I don't know...is it wrong that I don't like frivolous stuff? I don't really believe in buying people things that they don't need or won't use all the time. I find it ridiculously impractical and more like dropping a white elephant in their lap than actually doing anything meaningful.

Maybe I'm jaded? maybe it's the Virgo in me beating her Leo over the head to make it listen to common damned sense? After all, I am a practical eccentric. I don't believe in excess, I just LOOK like I do...

Anyway...your mission, should you choose to accept it *cough* is to make sure that you put some thought into what you do for your giftage this year. If you already take measures to ensure that whatever you give is something that the other person REALLY wants or needs then I commend you! Far too many people go to the store anymore and buy things that THEY think are neat and that THEY think the other person would like...but never really think about the fact that say... Grandma has a small kitchen so buying her a set of 12 matching coffee mugs is probably not a good idea. Or Aunt Bee uses that same place setting because it was passed down, so buying her a new set might be well intentioned, but if she's not going to USE IT then you might as well buy her something she actually NEEDS...

.....

I'm not bitter, I swear. Just very, very...hmm...I'll leave it to my sister to find a good word for me here cause I don't rightly know. Practical is overused, lol.

Basically. Don't buy it, just to buy it. Don't give them something just to say that you remembered them. If it's not a gift from the heart, with love and thoughtfulness, then it really doesn't fit the spirit of the season anyway, yes? And sometimes the best gifts are so very simple that you completely overlook them because you're thinking too hard about what to get! Other times, those folks don't NEED anything at all and just want to know that you remembered them, so a card and a nice hand written letter is just what Santa ordered.

Go make people happy.

Simple Statements...

2007-11-30T21:46:00.000-05:00

I took a page from my little sister's book and am posting these just to get them off my chest. No names, no fingers pointed...but if you think you know who you are, perhaps you should listen?

- Friendship means "unconditional acceptance", not "unconditional agreeableness". You don't have to agree with everything a person does to be their friend, or to consider them one. Apparently that's not enough for you though...either that or we were never really "friends" to begin with.

- I have to wonder if you listen to yourself. I'm sure somewhere in the back of your mind you must know that you sounds like a fool. There's a difference between "being" and "acting" and usually the more you try to show people what you are, the more of an "act" you have to put on. Hopefully you'll stop playing dress-up before you cut out too many more people from your life who love you.

- I miss you. The kids miss you. I think it was stupid for either of us to throw away years of friendship and family like we did...but then I don't know why it happened that way either. All I know is that I tried very hard to communicate with you and no matter what I said communication from your end came in a different way than I asked, so here it was taken badly. I couldn't answer the phone. You couldn't read my email. But maybe if I'd called, and you'd sent a reply we wouldn't be where we are now and my kids and I wouldn't be missing someone who was very important to us. However, not knowing why things happened, I'm not going to be the one to make that call either. Just know that we miss you, and we love you, and we hope you're happy.

- You are beautiful. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

- I've known you my whole life. Doesn't matter where you are or how long we go without speaking, you're still family. I hope that your new one will be the last one. The one that lasts. I love you asshole. Don't fuck it up this time.

- I hope you're stronger now than I remember. I hope you're not being used and led along like you have been before. I'm so afraid to call you or write you. I don't know what sort of trouble it would bring you. Jealousy is a horrible thing, and I know what it can do...I don't want to cause you any problems. Just know I wish you all the best and hope to god it's real and that you're finally where you belong.

- I still have that box for you...5 books now...most you probably already have. If I send it, I have to repack it because of what's in it. Long letters...letters I promised I'd write you someday and finally did. Now it's a bit too late for you to read them. It's okay though... I think we're both better off. And I am so very glad that you found someone. I'm glad you're happy.

- You are the love of my life. I think you know that - and I'm glad. But sometimes I think it would just be nice if we could go get one nice cup of tea... Dontcha think?

- Money does NOT make it all better. It might make it easier, but it doesn't make it better. All that money isn't going to do you a damned bit of good if you drive your whole family away before you're able to spend it on them.

- Just because I don't want to spend the holidays with my ENTIRE FAMILY AT ONCE that doesn't mean I don't care...it just means I want to be able to breathe.

- You are so smart. You really have put the rest of us to shame. Please, please PLEASE stop throwing it all away just because you're an adult. I know you earned it. I know damned well you deserve to have some freedom after so many years of being a servant, but stop a minute and look ahead 10 years. Just because you get a paycheck doesn't mean you should spend ALL of it on fun stuff. There's nothing responsible about that.

- No...they don't know who you are. I wonder who you blame for that? I wonder if you think that you would see them more if we were closer, but then from our perspective look at who travels more than once a year. Do we care about money? gifts? Not really. Do you ever ask to talk to them when you're on the phone? Do you think we're doing it intentionally? I assure you, we're not pleased about it either...but we damned sure don't have the means to change it either. The highway runs both ways.

- You're better off without her. I hope you find that somebody that will appreciate you like she never did.

- It's only going to get worse before it gets better... stage 2 of any relationship makes or breaks it...

- I don't forgive as easily as you forget.

- I haven't told anybody this (till now), but I bought myself a crimson scarf this year. I think I'm going to have it embroidered. Maybe I'll buy a few more and make presents for next year? You guys really are gold. I don't think I say it enough. I just wish I had as much time to spend with you all as I used to.

- There's a crystal hanging above my monitor that you gave me a decade ago. I used to keep it in my dice bag, but...now I want it where i can see it because it reminds me of you. I miss you so much it hurts. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you as often as I should have. And I'm sorry I never got to come home before we lost you. But I talk about you often. And we remember your birthday. And my kids are going to grow up knowing that their uncle had the most beautiful smile anyone could ever know.

.....

(deviant)Artist Questionaire

2007-11-30T13:49:00.000-05:00

Stolen from Cedarseed on deviantART.

01.] What is your pen name?
fully? Vaia Moonshadow...but Vai suits me nicely.

02.] What made you choose this name?
Lord....I've had that name for over 15 years now.
"Vaia" means motherly, and I am by and large a 'mother-hen'. Moon and Shadow are self-explanatory ;p

03.] Do you use PC or Mac?
PC

04.] What programs do you use most often?
DAZ|Studio

05.] Do you use mouse, or tablet?
mouse >.> (though I have a tablet that's never been hooked up...)

06.] What color or color combinations do you find yourself using most often?
black and...something else.

07.] What part of a picture do you put most effort into?
expressions, emotional aspects

08.] How long does it take you do draw a picture?
depends on what it is. It's not uncommon for me to spend most of a day on something (meaning around 12 hours)

09.] Do you keep your rough drafts?
Hello...my name is Vai and I am a digital packrat.
I save eeeeeverything.....

10.] What font do you use most often?
uh...
Hello, my name is Vai and I am also a Font Junkie. >.>

11.] When you scan your image, what DPI do you use?
...this question would require me to have a working scanner.
Although, when I did have one, I usually scanned at 300dpi.

12.] Do you do anything else when you're drawing?
music!
and the kids...
and dinner...
and about everything else...

13.] Approximately how many pictures do you draw in a month?
depends on the month.

14.] What kind of paper do you draw your pictures on?
*ponders what kind of paper comes from the computer...

15.] What kind of paper do you use for rough sketches and drafts?
anything on hand

16.] How long does it take you to ink something?
don't ink =/

17.] Do you do comics, or fan comics?
Very much the comic fan!
I don't put them together, but I do create the work to go into the The Agents LOC webcomic.

18.] Do you like comics? Are they fun to make?
Yes, and yes!

19.] Have you ever submitted anything to a magazine?
not that I can recall...

20.] Did it get published?
*cough*

21.] Who are your favorite artists?
*deposit ridiculously huge list here*

22.] Do you like anime/manga? If so, what are your favorite series?
don't really have a favorite, but I am particularly enjoying Clannad

23.] Do you like cartoons/comics? If so, what are your favorite series?
of course! Don't have a particular favorite though.

24.] Any artists that you wish you could draw like?
Meh...

25.] Do you read a lot of books?
when I can...

26.] Did you ever buy a book to inspire or teach you to draw?
Lots of them

27.] Any video games you enjoy?
Final Fantasy RPG types...

28.] Any favorite characters from video games?
Vincent Valentine <3
Setzer Gambini *swooooon*

29.] Do you have a favorite writer?
Lots of them. Clive Barker, Anne Rice, Peter Straub, Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Nancy A. Collins...

30.] Any books you really enjoy?
I am LOVING Odd Thomas!!

31.] Do you draw fanart?
not usually...

32.] Do you listen to music while you draw?

Gotta!

33.] Any recommended songs?
*points to TWradio.

34.] Any other art websites that you really enjoy?
dA is the only one I've found that's kept me long enough, but I do still love Elfwood and Bifrost

35.] Are there any websites that you go to everyday?
deviantART, TribalWars, and...um...nope, that's about it.

36.] What is your dream website like?
oh gods... don't ask that.

37.] Do you like your own art?
sometimes

38.] What do you enjoy watching on television?
television?

39.] Favorite celebrity?
Johnny Depp and Nicole Kiddman

40.] Favorite color?
PURPLE! deep dark velvety purple

41.] Favorite food?
cheeeeeeeesecake....

42.] Favorite drink?
coffee

43.] Do you like to go shopping? If yes, where? And for what?
NO

44.] Can you cook?
If I couldn't my family would starve to death.

45.] Any devices you use often for email? Any electronic pets?
No

46.] Are you tech-savvy?
little bit

47.] Do you want to become a professional artist?
not particularly

48.] Are there any other jobs you're interested in?
counselling

49.] Any other hobbies or skills besides drawing?
I'm a good listener :)

50.] Do you like to watch movies?
I love to...just no time to...

51.] What's your favorite movie?
labyrinth!

52.] Have you ever entered an art contest, here at DeviantART or otherwise?
a few

53.] When did you start drawing seriously?
seriously? no idea. I've just always done it

54.] Do you use references? If so, for what?
depends on what it is. I use them if it's supposed to look like someone...

55.] Are you a subscriber? If so, are you a beta-tester?
both. Senior member :)

56.] Do you have a lot of net friends?
probably 80% of them ;p

57.] Do you have a lot of friends that also draw?
hmmm.... a good portion of them, yeah.

58.] What time of the day do you usually go online?
all day...

59.] Do you like to go to chat rooms?
not really...I get confused too easily.

60.] Do you have your own computer?
YESH! Mine Mine mine!

61.] What would you say to the person that you admire?
depends on why I admire them ;p

62.] Does your mind wander when you draw?
constantly... >.>

63.] Have you drawn poorly because you think too much?
hahahahahahahahahahah yes

64.] Do you have any friends who are professional artists?
yuppers

65.] Where do you often hang out?
hang...out? online? do websites count?

66.] Are there any popular artists that you don't like much? (no need to name names
many >.>

67.] Are there any situations in which you really don't like being a DeviantARTIST?
not really, no...

68.] How about situations that make you love it?
I love dA...have since day 1

69.] What's the one thing that makes you grateful that the internet exists?
COMMUNICATION! god, I don't think I'd ever talk to anyone without the net!

70.] Is there anything out there that makes you wish the internet didn't exist?
......yeah, cause then I might have a life?

71.] What's your first Deviation?
*ponders* Something of el-Auria...or Orchid.

72.] Any art you did prior to that?
Yep...that would be up on Elfwood.

73.] Has your style changed a lot since joining DeviantART?
oh gods, yes

74.] If it has changed, in what ways?
I've gone far more digital and gotten much better with the techniques.

75.] Have you experienced artist's block before?
Yes... :|

76.] If so, how do you usually get out of it?
wait...read...and wait some more

77.] What do you do when you can't get out of it?
write and find something to rant about :D

78.] Any Deviants that have influenced you a lot?
a lot of them have influenced me in different ways...mostly to keep me motivated :)

79.] What made you want to start drawing?
hell if I know.

80.] What made you want to join DeviantART?
Angela Sasser and an image of her character Aurora Adonai. I followed her to dA and have been there ever since.

81.] Has anything ever made you want to quit DevianART?
Nope

82.] What do you think about netiquette?
more people need to learn what the hell it is and use it!

83.] Have you ever been spammed or trolled?
oh yeah

84.] Ever thought about quitting art all together?
never

85.] If so, why?
n/a

87.] Do you have custom CSS? If so, did you make it yourself?
yup, and not completely. I paid Grayda to create it from my template, and I edited from there to add a few things.

88.] Do you have good vision?
meh

89.] If you can get anyone's autograph, whose would you get?
um.... *shrug*

90.] What would you say to that person when he or she gives you an autograph?
not a clue...

91.] Do you like to draw on Oekaki BBS?
gawd no

92.] Do you have a job?
I'm a mother!

93.] Did you take art in school? If so, did you do well? Are you still taking it?
yes, for about 6 months, then quit.

94.] Have you taken art lessons outside of a school setting?
No

95.] Have you ever drawn something just because it was the cool thing to do?
uh....

96.] What's your favorite phrase/quote?
don't really have one, I don't think.

97.] Do you present yourself differently online than you do in your real life?
Nope

98.] What's your goal now?

Wut??

99.] What do you have to say to yourself?
Time for coffeeee!

100.] Lastly, what do you have to say to everyone who read this?
Do eeeeeeet!

The morning after...

2007-11-23T19:25:00.000-05:00

So yesterday went off okay.

I mailed my mother an extended letter and apology telling her why I just couldn't deal with family to such a degree yesterday, and from what my sister said when she dropped the kids back off at home, Mom was more disappointed that I didn't go than she was mad at me for not.

I can live with that.

It was nice though, to not have to deal with the drunken family members on either side, the commentary about me, my kids or my husband or to have to worry about being elbow to elbow with anyone.

They know where we live. My number hasn't changed in 7 years. If they want to see me or the kids, they know how to find us.

So now it's back to the daily grind for another few weeks. Nothing in the world could have made me leave the house today, but this weekend we'll do a little online shopping for the kids and the next couple weeks we'll look in to getting a few things for them.

My ex hasn't even mentioned Christmas yet, so I'm sure that's coming soon. I'm not sure if he forgot, or is thinking that he'll find cheaper airfare closer to the holidays...but I doubt it. We'll see.

So Monday we get to deal with our middle son's teacher and her lack of respect for our parental authority. I don't know if it's just her way, or if she's not meaning to come off as condescending and over-bearing as she does, but between the letters telling me I forgot to send in snacks (which I was never told to send in) and the ones telling me that I'm not going along with her curriculum (which, excuse me but, since when does the school curriculum get to dictate what I do at home?) and my son coming home to tell me that he was left out of yet another group handout, or how his teacher is guilt-tripping him about how he didn't read a story and it's MY FAULT, or repeatedly scheduling us for P/T conferences at times I've already told her we can't attend...

Yeah...she's not my favorite person.

Hard to explain to the five-year-old that his teacher doesn't get to tell his mother what to do, and that his mother still has to be listened to...

We'll see how that goes. I've never had this many issues with a teacher before. Even though we went in hearing nothing but good things about her, I have yet to be too thrilled with the way she works.

Hopefully the rest of the school year will go as fast as this half has.

Happy Thanksgiving......

2007-11-21T18:51:00.000-05:00

...not something I look forward to.

The holidays aren't really so fun for me.

Granted, I enjoy seeing my family, but I don't enjoy the stress involved in seeing my family.

I wish my family was one of those who either rented a hall and got everyone together in one place at one time so it was more convenient (for me), but alas, I have a split family unit, and a few small variations on that as well. So on holidays I get to try to figure out where we're going first, and usually how we're getting there since my husband is almost always working - either for the OT pay, or because he just couldn't take the time off. This year it's the latter as he's not even getting holiday pay (4 days short of being eligible...yay).

The guilt is getting to me...

My dad calls asking what time we're going to his parent's house so they can tag along. My mom emails asking if we're coming over to her place. My cousin called last week asking if we could make it to her place so the kids could play (cause we rarely get to see each other anymore). All of them are eating between 3 and 5. Shad has to be at work at 3:30. So I at least have to find someone to take us from Point A to Point B, and someone else to get us to point C and then someone ELSE to get us home (since Shad doesn't get off til after midnight).

And mom says "wing it...no reason to stress."

What happens when part of the stress is finding the ride? Depending on everyone else to taxi us, and listening to the same argument over and over again - "Why aren't you driving? Where's Shad? Why don't you get your license? Why don't you get a second car? Why? Why? Why?"

Why do I need to answer all these questions at EVERY family function?

Why doesn't someone give me the winning lottery numbers so we can live without concern for all the extra crap that would be involved in an extra car and extra insurance and extra repairs, and extra gas, etc, etc, etc...

Maybe we can just get through tomorrow and try to avoid this all again until...lets see... two weeks from now when we have school concerts that I have no way of getting to, or the parent teacher conferences that we keep missing, or the various after school events...and then there's christmas...

and I'm not even getting into the lack of cash flow for presents.

Hurrah...

Fed Up... Firebug Logic #1012 - part 2

2007-10-10T19:49:00.000-04:00

Continued from this post...

I ranted about the hypocrisy that's been rampant in racial America, now we'll take a step to the left and discuss Gays and Lesbians.

Why have them in the same rant? Well for one thing, I find the whole ordeal to be similar. Both oppressed because of something they can't control. Both oppressed because of bigotry and ignorance. Gays are now trying to gain the same fundamental rights that everyone else has, just like Blacks did all those years ago. Maybe they're different rights, but the concept is the same.

Homophobia

For those who don't know - I am bi-sexual. I didn't just wake up one day and decide that I liked girls. I always thought girls were more attractive, more desirable, and was always ALWAYS attracted to boys who looked more like girls. *heh* In fact (and yes, my husband does know this), I'm not really fond of men at all except that they have certain anatomy that women don't. That's not to say I don't love my husband. Quite the contrary. I've always gotten along better with men and have very few female friends, and the ones I do have are very close, and many are also bi, or gay.

Thing is...I've never been with a woman.
Why?
Well...the opportunity never presented itself actually.
Have I kissed another woman? Yes. But I don't find kissing to be a sexual act - unless you're nekkid - which we weren't. I've kissed many a female friend in my day. For kicks, for shock factor, and for sake of affection. Doesn't mean I wanted to jump them :p There's a difference between friends and lover people. Grow up.

Why bother saying this? Why not sweep it all up under the carpet and move on?
Why should I? Why should I hide who I am and how I feel from anyone? I mean, isn't the point of blogging to get these things off your chest and out of your head so that like minded people can comment and debate?

What gets me is that you meet me anywhere online - in chats, games, forums - and I don't advertise. I get along with everybody, or at least try to. Nobody knows I'm bi until they come looking for more info and dig into my blogs or other things. And most don't. Most people don't care. But I've had a few people that I've spoken to for months on end completely flip out on me when they find out. Like NOW I suddenly have the plague? WTF is up with that?

And the folks online who are openly gay... I admire them, and I feel for them. these guys deal with so much bullshit that it's insane. Death threats, insults...it's funny how they hide behind their email addresses and screen names yet they take the time to watch every video or read every blog that the guy folks write - just so they can have something to scream about.

Does the phrase - "Get a life" mean anything to you?

One fellow on YouTube, Matthew Lush is sweet, he's funny, and very much an advocate even at his young age. He receives hate mail and death threats fairly regularly simply for being gay. Funny thing is, he receives some from Christians who say things like "Jesus would spit on you" or "I hope you die of Aids".

How Christian is that?

Who would Christ really be more upset with here? The "Christian" who claims that Jesus would hate the sinner and wishes death on another, or the sinner (remember that we're ALL sinners now...) who genuinely tries to help others, is polite, and is respectful.

Seriously.

I really am tired of seeing comments on the forums and message boards that go on and on about how much of an abomination gays are and how aids was sent by god to wipe them out. Saying things like this proves only one thing - That you don't know what you're talking about. Do a little research and you'll realize that the number of aids related deaths in homosexuals is only a small fraction of the actual numbers, and many of those deaths are actually innocent children.

Another one that pisses me off is the constant referral to the same passage in Leviticus - which is actually misinterpreted, like many other verses in the bible. What this passage refers to is not homosexual acts in general, but the keeping of young boys for the express purpose of getting your rocks off. Cause you know what? people did things like that back then. Read a history book. It was quite common in the Biblican age, and on into the Victorian Era actually.

House Boys did more than just fetch the horses.

Of course, depending on which bible you pick up, Leviticus 18:22 reads differently, but over the years the text has been changed - which gee...doesn't it say in that same book that it's a mortal sin to do that? And doesn't that same verse say that anyone practicing homosexuality should be stoned to death? And then there's the rest of that chapter which outlines a multitude of other things that you shouldn't be doing...

But those aren't important...they're outdated.... *cough*

Romans 1:26-27 is quite a bit more descriptive and actually describes both male and female homosexuality. However, when taken in context with the rest of the book, it's a hell of a lot less of an observation of homosexuality as a whole, than it is about the actions of the people in that given city. It's far more about Paul asking when it's okay for anyone to judge others, than it is about what's happening (as the book goes into other things that god deems sinful as well). So again, pluck one verse out of an entire book and make it fit your needs.

I Corinthians 6:9 goes into who won't get into heaven. Well, it's a long list. And a lot of people would fall on it when you consider that in the bible it also condemns divorce, idolatry, sex before marriage, cheating on your spouse, alchoholics, thieves, anyone who masturbates...yeah, we see where this is going don't we?

Sinners.

And we're all sinners.

And depending upon what version of what bible you read, everyone is going to hell. Congrats! I'll see you there!

Really people. Read your bible. I've been a Theology student for over 15 years now, and have read several versions, some from 100 years ago, and the changes that have been made to the texts are simply ridiculous.

I'm not going to get into a religious debate, because that's not what this is about, but the point I'm trying to make is that if you're going to bring God into your bitch-fests remember that it was GOD who told you not to be pointing fingers in the first place!

I bet you'd be surprised at how many gay people you know who you don't know are gay. The kid at the gas station. The girl at McDonalds. The accountant that handled your taxes. The bus driver. The pilot who flew you cross country yesterday. The soldier who saved the life of someone you knew.

Yeah. Wake the hell up. They're just like anybody else. They work, they have families. They pay taxes. Who the hell is anyone to tell them that they can't get the same rights as anyone else? You don't want to call it "marriage" fine. What ever. But lets get one thing straight...

If marriage is a religious rite, why do the states have anything to say about it in the first place? Why does it effect my taxes? Why do I have to register a marriage license at City hall? I wasn't married by a minister, does that mean my "marriage" isn't valid? Can I go marry someone else in a CHURCH by a preacher and have it negate the one presided over by the mayor?

What happened to separation of Church and State? Hmm?

And another note for those who think that God wants homosexuals wiped off the face of the planet...

Did you ever stop to think that the rise in homosexuality might be Gods way of handling the rampant overpopulation caused by far too many people screaming to stop abortions, outlawing birth control clinics, and stopping sexual education classes in our schools? Maybe because instead of looking at all the beautiful orphans that need to be adopted in this world, so many people are turning to medical science to give them a child - and then give birth to 6. And then there's just the rise in medical advances that are all but doing away with natural selection, and are prolonging our lifespans.

Maybe God and Mother Nature got together and said "Ya know...they're going to run out of room before too long and either go into Mass Exodus, or have to go back into the sea...What say we put in a failsafe and make some of them attracted to the same sex, so they can't have babies. And those couples can adopt. No need to be infertile, just in case something does happen, but if they're not as interested in the opposite sex, at least that slows it down."

Doesn't that seem a feasible? Other animal species do it. But then we'd have to believe in some sort of evolutionary cycle in order to accept that, or in some more hard-core groups, to believe that science isn't the work of the devil anyway...

In any case...

What I learned from reading the bible, going to church when I was growing up, and from the ACTUAL Christians I know, is that God Loves Everyone - Equally. We are all sinners, and have no right to judge anyone else because they're no better than we are.

So why is it wrong to hate gays? Why is it so often the hardcore Christians who, instead of saying "We are all Sinners. It's God's job to judge, not mine", go into a raving hissy fit and demand that these people be banned from society.

Again, read your bibles. And if you're not Christian, look around you and take a few minutes to think about how you'd feel if someone told you that you couldn't do something because your hair is blond, or because your feet are two different sizes.

It's all biology people. You all bleed red.

In the end, this whole rant is meant to point out that the self-righteous need to take a long hard look at themselves and stop trying to push for more oppression in a world that's simultaneously trying to stamp it out!

Wake the hell up! You can't have it both ways!

If you want to have equal treatment, and profess to believing in a God that loves everyone - act like it. Don't pick and choose who qualifies for equal treatment and who doesn't. Don't say that this person deserves the the same rights as everyone else, but not the other guy.

Aren't we supposed to embrace the differences that make us unique instead of ostracizing people for them?

What sort of example are YOU setting for your kids when you say that "those people" are bad/wrong/different?

Think. Sit back and actually THINK about it for a while.

You might be surprised by what you really think.

Fed Up... Firebug Logic #1012

2007-10-10T19:08:00.000-04:00

I have read so much on racism today, I think I'm going to scream.

From the rash of "noose incidents" to professed Christians sending death threats to Matthew Lush, it's just becoming so ridiculously stupid that people seriously need to take a reality check.

Racism

Now, where the nooses are concerned, none of this happened until AFTER the whole blowup in Jena, LA. That, in and of itself was stupid. I will 100% agree that the incident that supposedly started this all, a group of white students hanging a noose in a tree, was wrong. But it was NON-VIOLENT and NOT a CRIME! They didn't threaten anyone with it. They didn't put it on anyone's door. They were moronic college students who thought they were being funny.

Now, how many college students do stupid things? Hmm...

The boys who were at the center of attention in the Jena case were accused of "the near-death beating of a white boy". 6 of them, teaming up and beating the holy hell out of a white kid - for being white.

Someone PLEASE explain to me how that's okay for them to do because they come from a black community?

Had the cards been flipped, and 6 white boys had jumped a black boy, those same people would have been screaming for the kids to be locked up for life! But no, because they're black, they should be shown leniency?

Give me a fucking break!

I am not a racist. I don't give a damn what color you are as long as you are a good person and try your hardest to do your best in life. What I am prejudice against are the people who play the race card to get ahead and the people who believe they are owed something because someone in their family line hundreds of years ago was oppressed.

Guess what...
The Jews don't own Germany - Don't you think they should?
The English took America away from the Native Americans...Do you want to live on Reservations?

Seriously people, shut the hell up. Get over yourselves. Stop looking for a handout.
Learn to speak English. Stop blaming your heritage for the fact that your grades suck, you can't keep a job, or don't make enough money.

Maybe you're just not working hard enough?

That's certainly not to say that I believe that all black people are stupid, poor and useless. That's QUITE to the contrary. Not only do I know a good number of black Americans who are intelligent, well spoken, and well off, but I know a shitload of stupid, lazy and poor white folk :p The point is that anyone I know who is black and got ahead, worked their ass off and didn't depend on playing the race card to get there.

The reason that racism still exists is because the BLACK Americans refuse to shut up and drop it. Not because the majority of WHITE Americans give a damn. Most of us don't give a damn until someone shoves it down our throats and makes us listen to the same bullshit that we learned in History class that happened 150 years ago.

Lets see... 150 years. It's certain that no one who actually WAS a slave is alive, though I'm sure that many people who remember the years of oppression after that probably are. But you know what? Since then, there have been a hell of a lot of things put in place for Black Americans ONLY - Television networks, Magazines, TV shows with an all black cast on national stations, college funds, Universities...a BLACK History Month?

But if we had things like this exclusive to White people - we'd be racist? How's that work?

You want Equality? Shut up and deal. No more "Black only" anything. ANYTHING. Or else stop complaining if White people want to show THEIR pride in their own heritage. Why is it okay for you to wear "Black Pride" t-shirts, but not okay for the next guy to wear one that says "White Power"? Seriously.

You want to be proud of where you came from? Well guess what...a good many of you were BORN IN THE US!

Why the fuck can't we just be Americans?
Why does color have to come into it at all?
And no, you're not going to hear me use the term "African American".
I'm not an Irish American.
My husband isn't an Italian American.
You're an American. Period.
Shut up.

Honestly. I would love to see all those "Great Black Leaders" who are trying (now....) to get the black community to stop thinking it's okay to refer to each other with the "N word" while simultaneously saying that white people can't call them that - turn that same logic around on the rest of the racial hypocrisy.

I really would...

To be continued...

We now return you to our regular programming...

2007-10-08T09:14:00.000-04:00

...and post a random plug ;p

For those people who work in Poser and DAZ|Studio, or who are looking to start working in 3D, NOW is the time to sign up, and the BEST time to join the Platinum Club.

October is the Platinum Club's Birthday Month, and this year they are having a hell of a sale. They are also releasing a new Platinum Bonus Pack that anyone who signs up for Platinum Club will receive FOR FREE! This is 40 of DAZ's most used products including all age groups, from baby to adult. The dragon, dog, cat, big cat, horse, gorilla, and multiple fantasy creatures. It also comes with scenes and settings to create full scenes.

I do have to say that joining the Platinum Club is the best money I've ever spent when it comes to my 3D work. Hundreds of products for only $1.99 (and during October, there are many for only $0.99!) and they have the most incredible sales and promotions that you can imagine. Monthly membership is only $8, and every month you receive a $5 credit that you can use for other content - so it really only costs you $3 ;)

I truly do love working in DAZ, and would love to help others moving into it as well. I know several people who have wanted to start using DAZ, but never found the time or money. So I wanted to give those folks a little nudge in that direction since right now there is just so much content that can be purchased for half price (or less!).

And just to remind you, DAZ|Studio itself, plus the Victoria 4.1 base model and a ton of starter content is completely free all on it's own, so you don't have to join the Platinum Club to get started. I just think that right now is the best time for you to do it, even if it's only to take advantage of the sales! You can always choose the monthly membership and cancel if you decide not to continue.

Anyone with questions, feel free to note me, and I'll do my best to answer them.

Goodbye Puppy...

2007-09-26T09:31:00.000-04:00

I lost my baby boy today...

We don't know what made him sick, or why he went from fine to...lost...in such a short time, but the last 24 + hours have been the longest and most painful in my life thusfar. And he held on...he wanted to come to bed, but couldn't move, and Shad didn't want him sleeping there overnight in case he passed and when we checked on him this morning, he was still there...hanging on. I don't know if Shad finally found the strength to send him on his way, or if Puppy was waiting for someone to pick him up one last time...but in the end I don't know if I was crying because it was finally over (for him) or because he was finally gone (from me).

We called him Puppy because he acted more like a dog than a cat. he barked. he begged. He ate table scraps and followed me around the house. He slept in my bed, and did tricks. And he was the most loyal companion anyone could ask for.

Of all our cats, he was mine. Just mine. And he made sure everyone knew it too.

Every night when my husband would lean over to say goodnight, Puppy would holler at him, nose his way in between us and do his "My Mommy" routine of rubbing his head all over my chest - then proceed to turn around and stick his tail in Shad's face.

I think Shad took it almost harder than I did.
I know he was crying just as much.

12 years of having him there, constantly underfoot. He whined at the door to the Mudroom if I was out there on the phone for too long. He scratched at the door to the bathroom if I didn't let him come in with me. He's creep across the desk from his perch on the table next to me and lay down directly on the keyboard if I didn't pay enough attention to him. I don't know what I'm going to do without him.

He's keeping my buddy Marcus company now though...and I know they'll take good care of each other.

Goodbye my boy.
Mummy loves you.

About the elections....

2007-09-06T11:12:00.000-04:00

Most folks know that I'm a fan of Obama, and not at all opposed to Hillary actually (and would absolutely love it if the two teamed up!!) but what I'm less concerned about than anything else is who they would be choosing for VICE president if they were to run.

Why? Very simple - I don't think either one will last their term.

I'm sure there are others out there who have whispered the thought, but honestly, as much as I think that this country needs, DESPERATELY needs a democrat in office, and as much as I think that either of these folks would be excellent for the position, I don't think this country - or at least the backwoods hicks and right-wing idiots anyway - are ready for either a woman or a black man in office.

While the last thing I would want to see is an assassination (although I'm amazed that bush is still kicking...) I think if Obama or Clinton were to be elected, they would be targeted from Day 1 by the right-wing. Far too many ignorant folks who think that change is bad, or that their values are the ONLY values. Too many people content to be led by fear and idiocy to allow someone with a glimmer of literal equality to step in.

I've had a number of fleeting thoughts slip away about national security and stepping up the presidential security in and of itself, but more than anything I look at the things I see online, and it's not the democrats who resort to name calling and threats the vast majority of the time...it's the Republicans. People that still believe that Bush is doing a good job, or that Iraq was a good idea - or that it was about terrorism. I look around and see schools declining, and jobs being harder and harder to find (good ones anyway). It's depressing to think that people like that are not only running the country, but also making it harder for anyone to even speak their mind without concern.

I find it especially hard to believe that the people who sweep all the wrongdoings under the carpet when it's their fault while simultaneously defending their right to be violent and hateful toward whoever doesn't agree with them, would allow anyone who is 1) a minority or 2) liberal to run the office without being made a target...

Just random thought patterns mind you, but something that's been in the back of my head for some time now, especially creeping up on election year. And this all dependent of course, on whether Bush is going to pull "Executive Privilege" and decide to stay in office (remember he's already tried to move back the elections...) because we're technically still in a state of war, and under a semi-permanent lvl 4 terror alert... <.<

And just for the reference material...If you have yet to read Orwell's 1984, do it...We're watching it happen...

Songs for Life (random chainmail...)

2007-09-05T07:27:00.000-04:00

Sometimes these amuse me, so I thought I'd give this one a looksee ;)
I've got a pretty bizarre mix of crap on my iTunes, so we shall see...

*tries it, breaks iTunes, tries again...*
*realizes that the drive all the music is on isn't turned on...tries yet again*

Here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, winamp, media player, iPod).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing.
5. New question– press the next button.
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool.

...

Opening credits:
Don't you ever leave me - Hanoi Rocks
hmmmmm?

Waking up:
The Boy who destroyed the world - AFI
yeah...this is looking upbeat...

First day at school:
American Idiot - Greenday
LMAO!

Falling in love:
*bypasses the Malice Mizer and goes straight for*
Let the sunshine in - Army of Lovers
*Cracks up*

Breaking up:
What is Love - Howard Jones
hmmmmmm.....uh...no.

Graduation:
The Russians are coming - Army of Lovers
.....*snicker*

Life’s okay:
Crucified - Army of Lovers
Getting a lot of them...but this one fits a little

Mental breakdown:
Dance this mess around - B52's
Anything by the B-52's could work for a mental breakdown...

Driving:
Hanging Garden - AFI
nahhhh

Flashback:
Illumanati - Malice Mizer
0.o freaky!

Getting back together:
Give my life - Army of Lovers
I'll take that one

Wedding:
Cornflake Girl - Tori Amos
*snort*

Birth of child:
On Friday - Blaqk Audio
I absolutely love this song, but... 0.o

Final battle:
...but home is nowhere - AFI
I swear there's more on my comp than these groups...my shuffle sucks

Death scene:
Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Hanoi Rocks
LOL, I'll take it

Funeral song:
http://www.metrolyrics.com/sacrifice-theory-lyrics-afi.html
wow...I'm going to hell...

End credits:
Bleed Black - AFI
WOW...I listen to some pretty morbid shit for such a perky person!

*Hits the shuffle again...*

Opening credits:
Black Balloon - GooGooDolls
better, better...

Waking up:
Whenever, Whatever - Shakira
*snicker*

First day at school:
medieval song 1 - Malice Mizer (?)
.....I have no idea...

Falling in love:
Like to get to know you well - Howard jones
ooh!

Breaking up:
End of Me - Marion Raven
not bad...

Graduation:
Hands up - Army of Lovers
*lol, not quite

Life’s okay:
Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne
jeebus, that's depressing

Mental breakdown:
High School Football Hero - AFI
...yeah, it fits. It really does...

Driving:
God called in Sick today - AFI
meh...

Flashback:
Break You - Marion Raven
...would work hella better for Breaking Up

Getting back together:
who knows - Avril Lavigne
Yeah, that works

Wedding:
A song for the Dead - Floating Couch
Well, it's an instrumental, so that's not bad, but the title isn't at all encouraging...

Birth of child:
What is Love - Howard Jones
I'll take it :)

Final battle:
Gardenia - Malice Mizer
I guess that works

Death scene:
God called in Sick today - AFI
heh...yeah, hell.

Funeral song:
All I want - Saigon Kick
....what?

End credits:
Snuff on Digital - Blaqk Audio
Much better!

Conclusion: My life is a flipping bi-polar Roller Coaster.
Which is true. ;p

Almost there...

2007-08-30T13:15:00.000-04:00

Well, we managed to survive the big family weekend without killing anyone, and the school-based evenings went pretty well, too.

The hubby has started his new job and so far everything seems to be going well, but we'll see what happens when he starts classes again on the 10th and how he does after he's done with training.

Me, I'm a little less stressed, but desperately in need of commissions to get us through September and past the beginning of the school year. We haven't even done school shopping for our younger two, and have no idea what the oldest will need once he actually starts the school year.

Mostly though, it's all good. We're functioning well...just stressing over the budget.

That's normal though, ain't it?

You can't make this shit up...

2007-08-23T11:12:00.000-04:00

Check this out.

China is about to pass a law banning REINCARNATION without government approval.

The Dalai Lama Has stated that he refuses to be reborn in Tibet as long as it is under China's control, and now I can understand why. Here you have a government that is trying to take control of a religion and dictate who the leader will be in order to order them around.

That would be like Bush taking over Vatican City and picking the next Pope.

The worst thing is that I'm reading comments by people saying that "this was a good move". WTF?! Do these people know NOTHING of what reincarnation is?! Have they ever even heard the term before today?!

Seriously, this is like saying "I own your soul." Honestly. This is literally saying that you have to get a permit for YOUR SOUL to reincarnate in another body.

Some are saying that it is their way of solidifying their rule of Tibet. They've wanted to have a way of controlling the process in which the boys who would be the Dalai Lama are chosen for a long time, but in all honesty how would they enforce this at all? The children are chosen after they are born and tested. If they didn't register, or whatever, and passed, they'd be arrested? Or if they did, would they HAVE TO be accepted?

And will this follow into their population control? Bad enough that the Dalai Lama has to be a boy (n/m) but seriously, what about their regulation of childbirth?

One more step for world leaders...
Hoo-fucking-ray...

More:

link
link
link
link
link

Moving right along...

2007-08-18T10:35:00.000-04:00

So today starts the final run of madness that is August. Party today, party tomorrow, party on Wednesday, party next Saturday, another next Sunday, kindergarten orientation, final exams for the hubby...

By the time school starts I'm either going to be a basket case, or I'll be dancing in the streets...

or both.

Lucky for us the Fates played a funny hand for us. My last blog commented on my hubby putting in his two weeks notice...well he actually ended up walking instead. Another big recall and more lies to the security staff about the nature of extra precautions they're supposed to take but no real reasons or procedures, or anything else. He was sick of the jokes, lies and hypocrisy. So they can have their supervisor who's been in security for less than three weeks. They can keep their guards who refuse to do their full tours, sleep in the guard house and hang out in the TV room of the building instead of doing their job.

More power to them. Good fuckin' luck.

*ahem*

Anyway, in a lot less than 24 hours (I think it was around the 18 hour mark) after he walked, we got a phone call from someone who was looking for ME to come back to work part time... I miss my job, but stress did me in last time. So after saying that he'd just quit and why the logical step was not only obvious, but humorous as well.

As stressed as he was about leaving that damned job, he's ending up not losing any money, driving 5 miles instead of 35 (one way), full benefits (where there was none), vacation time (had none) and sick time (again, none). And on top of that, a kid friendly staff who don't care about you taking a couple hours off in the morning for doctors appointments as long as they know and you come in later to make it up.

So even going into the weeks from hell here, we're happy, less stressed, and more than a little excited.

33's going to be a good year *nodnod*

Hooray for changes (and stupid people)

2007-08-11T10:11:00.000-04:00

*wipes sarcasm off her shoe*

Well...after two years, my hubby is finally going to put in his two weeks notice and look for something closer to home.

For the third time FP has reneged on their promise to give him a promotion to supervisor in favor of a woman who has not only worked for FP for a shorter time than him (like weeks, not months) but has worked for the contracted Security company for less than a month prior to their employment at FP. Not only that, but they aren't giving him the raise they promised him, nor are they moving him to first shift as planned.

At a place which professes to be such a "family friendly company" they have certainly shown very little care for the personal well-being of their employees, contracted or not. All they care about is their PR and how they look in the publics eye. Considering the latest recall and their blaming of the manufacturers, they didn't even tell their security people the reason for their stepped up security on site. They put these people 'in charge' and blame them for everything that goes wrong, but give them no authority to actually DO anything. The paid employees look down on the security personnel and completely ignore their presence on the property, even when they're directing traffic out of the building. It's no wonder that they don't allow anyone to take pictures on the property...they're afraid that someone will actually document the complete inadequacy of their security and professionalism.

Anyway, he'll be looking for something new within the next few weeks and hopefully moving to first shift so that he can continue school at night. We're only concerned really with what sort of a pay cut we'll be looking at. And with him working days and going to school at night, it doesn't leave me much time for sanity, much less looking at going back to work with my Mom.

For now though, anything he does is an interim job. He's going back to school so that he can do something with that education when he gets out. We both doubt he'll be able to do anything in the industry before he's been in class more than a couple months. I don't know if he's going to put his resume back on Monster (considering that he keeps getting calls for crap he's not qualified for, or not interested in) or just going to look in the local ads.

I'm hoping that I can pull in some commissions soon to help offset any differences that we might see, but for whatever reason, the more popular my work seems to become, the fewer commissions I actually have coming in.

I don't know how that works...

Guess we're just going to have to see where things head on from here. I'm not going to let my paranoia get me down this year. It's too big of a year for me on a few different levels to think that it's not going to be a change for the better. Just have to trudge through and be practical about what we're doing...

Practicality serves all ;)

Zeitgeist

2007-08-08T23:33:00.000-04:00

I've just finished watching this video and I must say that it is the most brilliant piece of journalism that I have ever seen.

I've long studied religious History and much of the first sequences were a refresher for me, but it brought out so much more that I had not known that I was left with a newfound faith in my own studies of truth. But this isn't a religious movie, no...it's a political one. Explaining many things that people have theorized about in the past several years, and many more that millions don't know about...but should.

I urge anyone reading this to watch the video and to pass it on to your friends and your loved ones.

All of my ramblings here thought this blog and through my forums...on my old website and those to come have expressed a need for people to stop being blinded by their devisions and seek their unity - the common thread that binds them all. The information in this video will perhaps give you one more reason to do so.

You can find the site here.

I cannot even find the words...

2007-08-07T22:58:00.000-04:00

...to voice how absolutely pissed off I am right now...

While browsing the net to learn a bit more about a J-Rock band called Virtual Kei I stumbled on a Baptist website/messageboard full of hatred and absolute filth entitled: An open letter to goths, emos and similar trash

"I'm not surprised that their names sound like they are choking on their sin. The dead drummer will be first to learn the end result of such debauchery, but at least the others have a chance to still find Jesus in time." (in speaking of Malice Mizer's late drummer)

"No wonder all the women in Japan fantasize about being tentacle raped. There isn't a Godly heterosexual man on the whole island other than Landover's poor missionaries!
I need to go pray for their safety now..."

"Simply find a large crowd of Muslims, follow them around for a while, and sooner or later (probably sooner), once of them's bound to explode."

"Liar. All you've done is prove that goths are pale, ugly freaks. The only thing they have to their advantage is that they're thin, unlike the usual fat social outcast."

I'm sorry...but as someone raised predominantly Christian, and having read my bible (and multiple other religious texts) the one thing I took away from those studies above everything else was NOT TO JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE! It's not our place to pass judgment on others...That's [whoever's] job at the end of the day. I've met a scant handful of Christians in my life who actually understood that and lived by it.

They didn't care what you listened to, or how you dressed. They didn't care what you looked like or how much makeup you wore (guys included)...they only cared that you were a good person, and did good things for others. Those are the only Christians who have ever won my respect...and because there have been so very few of them, the reason I haven't much respect for Christianity. Like today, I find far too many Christians who believe the things posted in this hate-filled message board. I'm willing to wager that most of these people have never read the literal translations of many of the songs they believe are Satanic. I bet they have no issues with their televangelist counterparts who wear more makeup (men included) than Mana ever has...So many of these people take their definition of righteousness and turn it into an excuse to go into someone elses town/country to tell them how wrong they are about life.

If non-Christians did that, the government would be in an uproar!

But you know what? How else are people going to get to know about other religions nowadays? Where exactly will we be able to end the rampant bigotry that's being fed to children? I mean really. People are BORN Atheist. Seriously. And while everyone has a predisposed desire to understand their origins, their maker, etc...it's their life experiences that lead them to the faith they eventually hold true - whether by fear, necessity, or habit.

Whether most folks want to believe it or not, a good many people in this country ate Christians out of habit not belief. A good many more will tell you they are Christian because that's what their parents were, but they've never been to church past the day they moved out of the house (unless they're married...and even then it's touch and go). A good number of the people counted as Christian on the consensus are actually Agnostic and either don't know the word for it or don't know what else to put down. They believe in something but they're not entirely sure that it's the Christian idea of God.

Unfortunately, the churches have money and own a lot of people who have money. (yes, you read that correctly). I've read many articles in our local papers where non-Christian papers and demonstrations were stopped because of HUGE hate rallies and protests. Seriously, have you ever seen a group of Atheists outside your church on Sunday with banners and signs screaming that you all deserve to die? I'd love to see the articles if you have...

I have articles dating back years of Christian Hate rallies...some directed at children... and yet, there are many who proclaim that they are doing God's will. Even though the bible, again, tells them that they are only to judge themselves and that God would be the judge of others.

"Love thy neighbor"

What ever happened to that? If God hates all sin, and we are all sinners, what right does anyone have to point fingers at anyone else?

Now, from my ranting and raving, one might think that I was a Christian myself...pissed off that other Christian's are giving the religion a bad name. You'd be wrong in that assumption, though as I already said, I was raised in a Christian home (Methodist 'til I was 5, Lutheran until I was 13, and married a recovering Roman Catholic), but I left the church when they refused to answer questions or accept me and my friends as ourselves because of our appearance. I decided to study religion for myself.

The sheer underlying core of most religions is the same. Names are different. Wording is different. But nearly all religions you find will have the same basic principles and understandings...it's just that too many people are caught up in having to be right that they don't care about anyone else. Too many people fear what's different or what's foreign. Depending on who you talk to, some Christian denominations are cults. Lutherans, Unitarians, Episcopalians, Methodists. Catholics have said that any non-Catholic denomination is doomed because they don't follow the Pope. So do they all follow the same God? The same one that Sikh prophets determined hundreds of years before the Christian texts were penned? The same God that Jews also worship? (remember people...Christ was a JEW!)

Honestly...when I look through some of the things that I read online (like the one person claiming that the ACLU is 'America's Taliban') I shake my head and honestly FEAR for my children being brought up in a world like that.

Our forefathers understood that religion was a personal thing, and that many people embraced it. But they also understood that having a country that was run by religion (as England had been when they left because of it! and as Iraq is now) it is dangerous and oppressive to the people in it. Whether our founding fathers were Christian or not, they still believed that the people in this country should have the right to believe in their own religion (and we won't discuss the Witch Trial's here...hooray for bad grain!). They knew that religion and government should be kept separate for the good of the people and to try to STOP the hatred, violence and bloodshed that has come from so many wars fought in the name of God.

Whatever God you believe in...or Don't...I hope very much that you accept other people's right to believe as they do. This rant isn't about the people on those boards believing the things they believe, it's about them spreading their hatred to others as if it were truth.

Believe what you want, explain why you believe it, but please don't profess to say that you have the monopoly on morality, faith, knowledge and/or intelligence because of it. One of those honest Christians I talked about earlier happens to be a rather goth-ish fellow. I find him to be a jewel. Very sweet and tolerant of others. He just likes to dress like any other kid today is all.

And if you have kids...I hope that you'll allow them their own choices in life; to find their own space in the religious world, or lack of it. Anyone can program a child to follow a specific religion...but it's their decision whether to believe it or not. If they question; answer them honestly - don't chastize them. If they want to look into something different, allow them that liberty as long as they aren't doing anything illegal or immoral they're still good people.

Just because they don't believe the same thing as you, or dress the same, or talk the same...it doesn't mean they're not good people...

It doesn't mean they bleed any color other than red.

And regardless of what you think, it doesn't mean that you might not meet them in Heaven one day wearing the same shirt :p

What ever happened to....

2007-08-05T15:55:00.000-04:00

...a little thing called "tact"?

Ya know, I understand freedom. I advocate it regularly and I think that people should be willing to express themselves freely. But that doesn't mean, nor is it the same as, people saying whatever the hell they want.

I browse around the net and find people, some unfortunately who I know, talking about their sex lives in the open on public boards. I see people talking about cheating on their spouses, breaking up people's marriages to set up their friends, or seeing if they can get people drunk so they can get laid. What I find only slightly amusing, though more disturbing, is that in those same public forums I find the same individuals giving people advice and proclaiming to have the moral high-ground. I fail to comprehend how these people can maintain their credibility when they're simultaneously carrying on two conversations - in one instance saying that they need to persevere to attain personal growth, while telling another to run away from their problems.

It's actually rather sad the level of confusion that abounds in these people's lives.

And no, of course I'm not the morality police. I've done some stupid things in my day. And morality is often times a matter of semantics anyway. That's something I know all too well and have written about many times through Orchid. But when the statements made are obviously hypocritical you can't stand on both sides of the fence without fracturing some piece of yourself in the process. It's counter productive.

I know the Net is a good place to find people that you can express yourself to. I've found several in the last decade and many of those people I value very highly. However, call me paranoid, but I also travel in groups with many of the people I spend time with online, and when I run into contradictory conversations, or something completely uncharacteristic of the people I have come to know I will call them on it.

I suppose I'm a bit naive in the fact that I see the Net as a place to be myself rather than to hide behind some facade that I have created for myself. If you don't like me, move along. I don't have to share space with you on the Net because the space here is limitless. I see through a lot of pompous windbags who try to be all bad-assed and puff their egos while they peacock around pretending to be something they're not. Those are generally the ones who have something to hide and wouldn't know who they really were if their life depended on it.[blockquote]Internet DJ's who pretend to be from Canada when they're really from Phoenix, that try to pull of some accent that's a very bad mix of British, French and Australian depending on the day...Lucky that being a DJ is all about being fake and drawing an audience. Luckily there are more DJ's at the station with a clear sense of reality...

Folks who one minute talk about who they know and what they can do for you, only to back out at the last second because their friends server crashed, or some equally BS story.

Kids who pretend to be much older...but can't remember anything about the decade in which they supposedly spent their teen years...

Wanna-be Goth's, who will tomorrow be wanna-be progressive, who will the day after be something completely different...

Self-proclaimed enlightened followers of (name your faith) who twist the rules of their religion to suit their own selfish purposes and change the ones they want to mean something completely opposite...

And of course, you have your regular con artists, freaks, perverts and idiots. Those are never in short supply.[/blockquote]

And through it all, they air their dirty laundry in the open like it's nothing. Trouble is that it's nothing more than a desperate attempt to get someone to listen to them and tell them what to do. Doesn't mean they'll have the strength to do anything, just means they need vindication...someone to tell them that they're right in their resolve.

I'm not going to say I don't do the same...I do it a lot...but as I stated earlier, I don't vent to just anyone anywhere...and I don't accept advice from just anyone - especially if they have a habit of talking backwards and backtracking their own advice. Most of my venting isn't as random as it might seem and is done through messenger to specific people who I know, trust and value the opinions of. This space is just to get things off my chest. If someone posts, and I know them, then most certainly I will accept them as such. So far however, there have only been a very few posts by friends - those have been cleared - the other posts I've received have been spam =/

Ah well...
I guess people think I'm a raving lunatic too?
At least that would mean I'm genuine ;)

And so it begins....

2007-08-04T12:09:00.000-04:00

It's August...And with my sister's birthday today, we begin the family's run of multiple birthdays, parties, family functions, school shopping, headaches, stress and the desire to find the nearest hole to crawl into...

For whatever reason, my family (on Dad's side) decided that August was the perfect month to have all their kids. Of course my mom's side didn't want to feel left out, so we have my mother's birthday (two days after mine and my fathers), my sister-in-law's birthday and her anniversary to my brother. And it's not just family...there's quite a few friends mixed in there as well...making it literally every other day that someone is celebrating.

The unfortunate thing about all this is that not all of my family has email :p If they did, I would make up a few cards in photoshop and set them to an auto-mailer and not care. This of course wouldn't excuse me from family functions...but I have kids to use an excuse for that. ;) What stinks most is that the only person I actually want to see for our birthdays is my sister, but hopping a plane to Florida at the last minute is rather out of the question and I don't think she'll be able to make it here with school starting for her and her kids (she's a teacher) within days of mine. So she'll be getting a phone call momentarily, and I've already made her a card (posted online...though she never checks her mail.........) and probably sending her a rather long, drawn out email explaining the numerological eccentricities of this year for us.

But, beyond that, we're trying to get our financial BS together...Taxes due, inspection due...and with that repairs to the van to make it pass. Who knows how we're going to manage, but I'm sure we'll figure it out somehow.

Happy August to everyone, and if you have a birthday this month too, I hope it's a good one...without too much stress ;p

New Stuff! W00t!

2007-08-01T13:49:00.000-04:00

So I spent a good deal of the morning putting some new products up on my Zazzle account, and as I've made a whopping $20 in three years time on there, I didn't expect much to come of it...BUT! About 10 minutes after I submitted one of the products (a keychain with one of my angels on it), I got a mail saying it had been selected for the Daily Features! *dances*

I thought that was way cool! :D

I've got the product box up to the right, but thought I'd post it a little larger on it's own as well for anyone who wanted to see things on a bigger scale (since the sidebar's kinda dinky).

The hat cracks me up every time...I love my grandpa! :D

I'd love to hear what you think!!!

Decline of Western Civilization: Part 3

2007-07-31T16:34:00.000-04:00

In the last few weeks I've read some pretty disturbing things, most of which involve adopted or foster children. In all of the cases read where children had already been placed, there was horrible abuse in which the authorities had been contacted, and yet, did nothing. The children were being used for their income potential.

While I understand the precedence of the government issuing monies for foster families and adoptions, it boggles my mind how these people can be allowed to adopt and foster 9, 10, 11 kids without anyone actually coming into the home and seeing the condition of it. How these homes go unchecked boggles my mind.

Likewise, you have perfectly loving people with good jobs and willing hearts who try to adopt and are refused because of their weight or some other issue that really shouldn't matter. The article listed below concerns an overweight man who wants to adopt a member of his own family because the mother is incapable of taking care of the child. Rather than allowing a relative to care for the child, the state has refused his request on the grounds of his weight.

How many children in this country have parents who are overweight? Does this automatically make them unfit? I'm not a twig myself...does that mean I'm incapable of taking care of my kids?

I've had friends who tried for years to have their own children, and eventually turned to the adoption agencies because they couldn't conceive, turned away because one of them had back problems that would "prevent them from being an active parent". What kind of bullshit is that? He could walk, he could run, he just couldn't pick up more than 30 pounds...or wasn't supposed to anyway. On that note, I also have a bad back...and three kids... does that mean I'm unfit?

And somehow, people like the others in the stories listed are allowed to adopt multiple children and leave them in squalid conditions, in cages and chains.

These people are fit? I know that sometimes it's impossible to tell if a person is unbalanced before getting to know them, but do they no longer do the random visitations by social workers?

When my eldest was 5 we had an incident involving social services that involved a bump on his head and a non-existent boyfriend of my then 12 year old sister, named "Bubba". I was of course frantic because the threats made by social services were completely ridiculous (seeing as "Bubba" was actually my then 11 year old sister, Barbara and the bump on my son's head was caused by losing a game of tug-of-war) but still we were subject to random visits from the assigned case worker who just sortof...showed up. Half my family was interviewed to assure that my story of who "Bubba" was turned out to be true. And all this because my son went to school and one of his friends in class came up, poked the bump and asked "What happened?"

In some of the instances listed here, the children weren't in school...which I thought was against the law?? How do 11 children slip through the cracks like that with no school records, no medical records, and yet records of their receiving state funds? I really can't understand how they never ran into anyone. No one ever saw them, or knew the foster parents? No one poked at their bumps and bruises and asked "What happened"? to send a Social Worker to their home so that the conditions might be discovered before it reached the point of extreme neglect or worse, death?

I've known several parents who have dealt with the same thing I did with a resounding "WTF?!" because of the school system's "No Tolerance Law" for reporting any incidents of *possible abuse*. My husband's father was even grilled when taking my husband to the hospital for his knees after a skateboarding incident. And yet, I've also known people who allowed their 5 year old son to roam the streets near a busy intersection where we once lived for hours while they "did their business", and others who would leave their infants home alone while they went to the bar. And when the police were called, 'reports were filed' but those people still had their kids, and still did the same thing weeks later.

I simply don't understand who makes these judgment calls. Who decides which cases to pursue and which ones to ignore? Who is in charge, if anyone, of keeping track of the children put into foster homes and adoptive families? What if, instead of allowing these families to collect children, and checks, they pass a law requiring that people must be able to support a child before adopting or fostering them? Or refuse to distribute funds to people for X amount of time? Or cut down the amount received? (Some of these people were receiving more per month than my husband makes to support a family of 5! - PER CHILD!)

Instead of making these children a "meal ticket" how about concentrating more on finding them families who can take care of them already, who can provide references and personal proof that they are good people. And this certainly isn't saying that the poor should not be allowed to adopt. They just shouldn't be allowed to adopt for reasons of supplementing their income.

I hope the rise in these cases, or perhaps the apparent rise, will make some people stand up and take notice. My heart goes out to these kids for the treatment they've endured from people who should have been living them and caring for them instead of locking them up to fatten their own bellies. And I hope that the discrimination against overweight people, or those with health issues that still maintain active lives despite the fact, will be allowed to adopt children into their homes. They're no different than anyone else in the world, and those kids would be better off with people who care for them whether they're overweight, gay, hunchbacked or deaf...or anything else.

LINKS::
Fla. Woman Accused of Abuse and followup, Cops Find 9 Adopted Kids Handcuffed, Starved
Obese Face Obstacles in Adoption Process
'Caged Kids' Case Parents Want Kids Back
Mom Gets Nearly 27 Years in Boy's Death

LOL!

2007-07-30T22:55:00.001-04:00

I find this hysterical!

Personally, I love the idea of a guy being man enough to not freak over the very idea of using women's products, but it's cute to read about it now and then. Of course, I don't get the whole "Metro-sexual" crap...*recalls episode of South Park that was just WRONG on so many levels*... the fact that they had guys in there admitting to using women's deodorant almost had me on the floor!

I'll admit to using mens...cause I'm cheap...and I live in a house full of them. And my oldest uses most of my facial cleansers and whatnot cause...he's a teenager, he's self-conscious, and he wants to keep his complexion clear. No problems there.

But I catch HELL when I bring anything into the house that smells like flowers, lol. My husband can't stand perfume (and neither can I) but I'll wear Cucumber Melon sprays (cause it's my favorite) and they don't mind that so much.

However, I do have some small bit of protest.

When I come out of the bathroom after a nice shower with some scented soaps, the smell doesn't gag anyone who walks in for the next hour! About the only thing I won't use of theirs is their soap, which I hide under a couple extra washcloths so it won't stink the place up cause it's so strong.

Somebody tell me how to get them to wear jasmine and use women's deodorant!! :D

Here we go again...

2007-07-30T10:43:00.000-04:00

Jesus vs. the ACLU

Once again the ACLU is trying to have a religious image removed from a courthouse. This is becoming more and more of a regular occurrence...I'd think people should know better by now.

And of course, the forums attached to this article are going hog-wild with people on both sides of the issue. Some Christians who are saying that "anyone who doesn't like it should get out", some who support the ACLU's position because this is not just a Christian Nation, and others, Christians, who while believing that the image should stay, know their history well enough to know that our Founding Fathers wanted religion to be separate from our government.
Mike Johnson, an ADF senior legal counsel based in Louisiana, told ABC News the display is legal because there's no intent to advance a religion.

"The clear secular purpose for this thing was to decorate the walls," Johnson said. "This is not some sort of ulterior motive to advance Christianity."

What kind of crock is that? Why not display prominent secular images then? Presidents. Images of that lovely town. Photos of the mayor or the judges? If the "secular purpose...was to decorate the walls", there are dozens of other things that could have been used. Clearly this argument is full of holes.

Following on through the article, there is a spot about other religious monuments and court rulings. One in Texas that stood for decades and displayed multiple religious edicts as well as secular symbology (which I myself have no problems with), another in Kentucky which was ordered to be taken down that had not stood as long and was purely Christian.

Read on a little further and you can see that, contrary to popular belief, the ACLU doesn't just work against religion. They simply work for equality and freedom. One even has the ACLU arguing for a religious display, touting the First Amendment rights of a child to sing a religious song at a school talent show (the school isn't forcing her to, it is a personal belief, and therefore tolerable). Another argument won by the ACLU (and the ADF) was in favor of a boy who wanted to wear an anti-gay during a pro-gay day at school. -- Now why I don't believe there should be either, I certainly would uphold his right to peacefully protest, as long as he's not picking fights (though it wouldn't have surprised me if just wearing the shirt started a few).

And yet, the mayor of the town called the ACLU "America's Taliban"..

What a joke! Can these people not understand that the ACLU is attempting to KEEP America from becoming a religiously run country...Like Iraq!!!

Someone through the boards commented that people always attack Christian symbols, but allow ones of other faiths, like a Muslim school built in Manhattan that allows the full teachings of the Qurhan. Personally, I don't see that as anything other than a parochial school. It's just Muslim, and not Christian. The reason that people attack Christians is because there are so many of them trying to impose their beliefs on everyone else, and so many of them have no concept of equality.

Far too many Christians have the idea that "it's my religion or no religion" or "if you don't like it, get out of the country". Gee...Doesn't that sound like precisely what they are claiming the Terrorists are doing? This great country, while it may have been founded on Christian beliefs, was also founded on the basis of Religious Freedom because the Christian people who came here did not follow the dominant Church and did not want to live under Religious Law.

People need to learn their history.

This country, great "Melting Pot" that it is, needs to embrace all cultures and leave religion out of the courts for the precise reason of being able to embrace all cultures. Religion should be personal and private. Government should be kept secular so that anyone can easily adhere to the laws of it and so that it can be applied to anyone.

For those who don't understand what the ACLU is actually about, who believe that they are only "Out to get the Christians" - please learn a little more about them. As a member, I will be the first to admit that I don't agree with everything they have fought against. But my reasons for disagreeing were personal. Perhaps if we could all take a moment to step back and look at the difference between our own personal beliefs and the rights of others to have different beliefs from our own, we'd stop arguing so much...

Until that happens, we will always be a nation divided on religious lines, regardless of the common thread of peace throughout those religions.

Links::
American Civil Liberties Union
Alliance Defense Fund

"Les Cheapmunk"

2007-07-26T11:33:00.000-04:00

Today childrens we learned that hoarding is good! :D

It has earned me the nick-name of the Cheapmunk, but that's just fine with me. My hoarding capabilities found us an extra $12 that we didn't know we had ;) Enough to put $10 in gas in the van (which was necessary to get my husband across town to pick up his paycheck - very important), pay for parking while he was out there (also important), and to go to the library and print his term paper which was due this evening (which could have waited until after he got his check, but as we were going out to the library when he went to the gas station, why wait?)

I hoard state quarters. Our intentions were to keep four of each state (one for each of our kids, and one for us) to be placed in the quarter maps. It's kitchy, but we always thought they were neat. Little geography lesson and the pictures teach a little about each state. Trouble is that we only have two maps, the maps we have are HUGE, and not only do I not keep them out to put the quarters in as soon as I get one I also can't accurately keep track of which maps have which quarters or which ones I have in my hoard. So i just hoard any of the ones I get until such time as I get around to pulling the maps out and going through them all.

Today I hadn't planned on doing that, but as I opened my desk drawer to see if I had an extra buck or two stashed in there (which I sometimes do in case I need a gallon of milk while my husband is at work) my husband poked his nose in the drawer, saw the little basket where I kept the quarters, opened the lid and squawked at me. "What the hell is that?! You little CheapMunk! You're hoarding!"

Of course this brought a round of laughter from my sons (two of which had no idea why they were laughing) and my husband's immediate protests were thwarted by my protests of WHY I have them all and that I'd be happy to take a few minutes to go through and see what extras I have in there. That time I gave him anything over 4 that I had and sent him looking for the maps. He didn't feel like looking, so I told my oldest to go locate them and sure enough, that time I filled the two maps, kept two of each other, and landed him an extra $9. :p

Now he protests that he's not going to allow me to hoard anymore, but I called him on that as well.

Did we miss them? No.

Did my hoarding come in useful just when we needed it? Why yes...yes it did.

He has no further protests :)

So while I'm not entirely sure I'd go with the rodent persona of hoarding (I quite prefer thinking of a dragon hoard) as quarters aren't the only thing in the vast mountain of crap that is my desk and it certainly isn't food in my cheeks, I'll take it.

And I make no apologies for being the packrat that I am ;)
Mwahahaha.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled programming.....

2007-07-25T11:41:00.000-04:00

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?!

I mean seriously... WTF?! <--link

Granted these kids shouldn't be allowed to slap each other on the butt just because...it's inappropriate. But how many school coaches still do it? How many of these kids watch baseball/football and see those coaches doing the same? And from what the other kids have said through this article, multiple kids at that school engage in this on a regular basis. Why are these two looking at FELONY SEXUAL ASSAULT?!

This freakin' country has become *sue happy*. It stands to reason that 1) the behavior went unchecked until someone complained and 2) as soon as someone did, they decided to sue. Who's really at fault here? The kids who think they're clever and are really just...kids? Or the school who allowed this behavior to carry on?

It's a 'Sick, Sad World' (to coin the title of Daria's Favorite TV show) out there. Anyone will sue anyone if they're insulted, picked on, flirted with, ogled... What the hell happened to learning to actually DEAL with emotions as opposed to threatening to sue someone the second they make a snide remark? Did it start when the moron ordered coffee from McDonald's and spilled it in her lap?

Imagine that...a HOT cup of coffee!

Nowadays people question even the friendliest of gestures, and this case is just one more ludicrous example of people going too damned far. These kids don't deserve Juvenile detention, and if they do, then every other kid in that flippin' school who smacked someone's ass does too! Give the teachers a vacation and suspend them all for two weeks. Make them repeat the grade...

Or, heaven forbid, have THEIR PARENTS discipline them! What a fucking revelation!

I think that's what it all boils down to, with regards to kids anyway - too many ignorant parents allowing their kids to *express themselves*. And not meaning that kids shouldn't express themselves, but there are appropriate ways, and inappropriate ways. This is certainly inappropriate. But I wonder if the parents were aware of it before they received the charges? I wonder if the girl's who reported them had said anything prior to the incident that brought about the charges?

I am the parent of a 13 year old, and while I don't think that anything like this has happened at their school, I do know that there have been incidents where my son has come home to tell me about harassment on the busses in the form or anti-semitic threats and insults, throwing shoes, students pushing themselves up on the bus seats and kicking others in the face. And the first thing I do is call the school.

Kids will be kids. There will be bullies, and kids will pick on each other. That is the nature of childhood. It's not fun, but it helps us become who we are. To a certain extent, kids should be taught to deal with it. When it escalates to the point of violence. ACTUAL, physically harmful, violence then someone should absolutely step in. When it gets to the point of harassment and lasts for an extended period of time despite the victims best efforts to stop it (by saying "Knock It Off", ignoring it, telling the teacher, etc). THEN have someone step in.

Just about that happens in school is grounds for psychological harassment by definition. However in this sue-happy society it's far too widely used as the excuse of many to take advantage of others. Wake the hell up and let these kids be kids! Instead of turning around and wasting taxpayers money tying up the legal system, why not teach your damned kids some freaking morals from the onset?

Or...oh my god...put sex-ed back in school so that they even know what the hell sexual harassment is!

These kids are being made an example of for all the wrong reasons. They shouldn't be sent to jail and given a life long record as sex offenders because of childish games that they more than likely had no idea was wrong - when everyone else is doing it. Peer pressure people. How do they know if these boys even started the trend? How long has it been going on in the first place?

People need to stop hiding behind the legal system and learn to deal with their own problems in an intelligent manner. It's like the three year old who runs to mommy every time anyone even so much as looks at them - Heh, mine does that as a matter of fact. There's a difference between "criminal activity" and horsing around.

People need to freakin' learn it!

More info on this inane crap: link

Apparently these kids were turned in by a teachers aide and not another student. They were taken to jail, strip searched, and not allowed any contact FROM THEIR PARENTS for two days! This country is seriously warped to do this two two kids. The amount of mental ABUSE suffered by these two boys in the time they were in jail is more than the girls in the school, who also participated in the butt-slapping would have suffered. These parents need to counter sue the school district and the county as well!!

MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

2007-07-25T00:54:00.001-04:00

Finally I have found a way to put the RSS for this into my MySpace, thus making all of my blogs (except for livejournal, which I never use) linked and updated through the posts here!

-- enter cackling --

I am most pleased that I can post to only one place while still keeping the accessibility of multiple blogs :)

Now I can set up the commercial blogs with commercial layouts and personal ones with personal stuff...

It is good.

For those interested, I found the information here to be amazingly useful.

I will most certainly be keeping this info in mind ;)

short blog.... <.<

Gee, that's a change, ain't it? ;)

.

What I've learned from having a pet...

Help for Caesar

Adults vs. Adherents...

Something I can't understand...

Introducing The Accidental Squirrel!

Imma go be in a gang....part deux

Imma go be in a gang....

Olberman: Violence has NO place in Democracy

Count me OUT! - National Coming out Day 2010

This country needs to grow the F^*$ up!

Help Fund Indie Comics!!

Why would I wanna be anybody else but me?

Hangin' with the Fox

WHAT a month!

IDAHO

Freelancer's Profile

Bleh...

Commercial Blog is back up!

formspring.me

formspring.me

formspring.me

Dear God, Save me from your "good people"...

my sentiments exactly...

Disturbed...

It's a sick, sad world...

The very definition of hypocrisy...

Getting back into the groove...

Rant #3012...

Dear Dumbass, revisited...

Kryptonite...

FML...

Homesick...

A different kind of prostitute...

I love stupid people...*content advisory*

Oh My GAWD!

25 life changing albums

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Dear Dumbass...

The ones you can't forget....

Poser Product Review - Comparison Shopping

NOW they're questioning 'abstinence only' programs???

*snicker*

OH MY GOD!!

Moving on...

Of Cam-whores and the idiots who worship them...

The most offensive thing I've heard from a Republican yet...

Gotta love it...

Obama's speech

The DNC...

Democracy, the DNC, and Family BS...

Gender Stereotypes?

back again......

Faith in Humanity Project...cont. #6

The Death of an Icon...

Faith in Humanity project, cont...#5

Faith in Humanity Project, cont...4

Pragmatic Eccentricities V. 3

Faith in Humanity Project, cont...3

Faith in Humanity Project, cont...2

Pragmatic Eccentricities V.2

Faith in Humanity Project...cont.

Poly-ticks.....

Faith in Humanity Project...

OMG! You're brilliant!! /sarcasm

Dissed again....

Tis the season...

Simple Statements...

(deviant)Artist Questionaire

The morning after...

Happy Thanksgiving......

Fed Up... Firebug Logic #1012 - part 2

Fed Up... Firebug Logic #1012

We now return you to our regular programming...

Goodbye Puppy...

About the elections....

Songs for Life (random chainmail...)

Almost there...

You can't make this shit up...

Moving right along...

I love stupid people...content advisory

snicker